"You're in administration are you?"

[ImJustMadAboutSaffron]

Waiting for a train and a guy started chatting to me to pass the time. Told me he had a 51 year old son so he must be in his 70s. When he discovered I work at a university he asked me the question in the subject line.

I asked him what made him say that and he just shrugged. I didn't say so, but I suspect it's because I'm a woman and also his generation.

Unreasonable to be wryly amused/slightly miffed? Not the first time it's happened and always men that say it.

Not that I'm saying there's anything wrong with working in administration either btw.

I hope you told him you are the vice-chancellor

What's your point exactly? Universities are large places with a variety of jobs that people can do. Some 'administrative' roles have huge amounts of responsibility or require large levels of skill - and are remunerated accordingly. Why did you not just say you're an academic if that's the case?

Because he’s a twerp.

When we had desk phones we used to all answer each other’s if we wen’t there. At least 50% of the time I was asked if I was Bob/ Dave/ Pete’s PA. I was their manager. Obviously they were never asked that about me.

I had exactly the same thing from someone I actually knew. He came into the uni as a volunteer to talk to some students and saw me and said “do you do admin here”. No actually I’m the programme lead. Why don’t people just ask “what do you do”. Because I doubt he’d have asked a man the same thing.

YANBU, I would be annoyed too. As others have said - he'd never have asked a man that.

I don’t get your point? Do you think it’s a criticism that he assumed administration rather than a lecturer?

To be honest if someone phrased something in that way I would think the same. If they said “I work in a school” I would assume something like admin, reception, management, lunch room etc otherwise they would usually say “I’m a teacher”.

I think you are looking to be offended here.

It sounds like something my 80 year old grandad would say to be knowingly disparaging. If challenged he would act all coy and hide behind his age.

Happens to me quite a bit too. I say,yes I am - as the chief executive. It is a government administration business, but they don't mean that, they mean my little wifey part time job.

Ha i would have assumed he meant financial difficulties and would have had an odd conversation denying the university was in administration 😂

My point is that the first thing that apparently popped into his head is that I'm an administrator because I'm female. I told him I'm an academic and he didn't have much to say to that!

Being picked up from work in an uber at 3am (work = hospital).

Uber driver "oh are you a nurse?".

My male colleagues never get asked that.

Me too!

FIL thought that because I work in an office I'm somebody's 'seckiterry'. No, you sexist melt. I have a rather complex job that needs a lots of skills & knowledge.

I'm surprised you didn't get the point. I don't think it's a criticism because I don't think this guy thought that far, rather he assumed woman = secretary.

There are plenty of people in administration paid much more than I am and who make decisions about us lecturers! The conversation centred around travel to work rather than actual jobs.

Yes, in his generation a woman stayed at home to raise a family and any job would be menial for pin money allowing quick exist when necessary to tend to the children, and he assumed you did the same forgetting that in the modern day we also pursue careers and no parent focuses solely on the family home and children.

He didn't watch himself and ensure he didn't utter such an assumption, he just spoke freely assuming you were just up for a friendly conversation and not a chance to get offended.

How do you know it's because you're female though? I get the point you think you're making but why did you not just say that you were an academic in the first place? I am an administrator at a University - and generally say I work at a University because my job makes no sense outside of HE and I can't be arsed to explain. He asked a follow up question because it sound like you were being vague, and he was trying to keep the conversation going.

Interesting one. Do we give allowance for his probable age (mid 70's ?) ? Or do we think at mid 70's he's young enough to know that times have most definitely changed. I only say that as my father who's knocking on 80 is a curious mixture of old fashioned assumptions, with modern expectations for his grandchildren.

I have no doubt that he was being sexist but I probably would’ve answered his question with “I’m a lecturer” rather than “I work at the university” because a) that could mean anything and b) to deny him the satisfaction of asking you that question.

I agree it's because you are female.
I was travelling with a male colleague far junior to me. A stewardess referred to him as "Sir" and me as "love".

I'm sure there was an element of sexism somewhere, but if you phrased it as 'I work at a university', rather than I'm a professor/lecturer, it possibly does sound like you are not an academic, but in a support role. Similar to how if someone said 'I work at a hospital/school/parliament/court rather than I'm a doctor/teacher/MP/judge' etc, it sounds like you're in a support role rather than doing the 'typical' job associated with the workplace.

I think if someone said to me they work in a uni/school/hospital/GP practice/dentist/law firm, I think I would assume in admin otherwise I would have expected them to say lecturer/teacher/medic/doctor/dentist/lawyer.

It's also very annoying when you ask someone 'what do you do?' and they answer with where they work.

But if they'd asked if you were a doctor or consultant and you weren't, you'd have been offended then, right? So he/she couldn't win really could they?

I could see myself doing the same. If you told me you "worked" at a university. I'm used to faculty members saying they "teach" at such and such school.

And?