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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Creepy neighbour 2

133 replies

Mooshamoo · 22/07/2022 10:21

I posted here a couple of weeks ago. I bought a house six months ago in a medium town in Ireland. Two middle aged men live next to me.

I posted here that I was on holiday last week, and these men got my estate agent to ring me to see where I was. They are friends with my local estate agent.

They said they were worried about me. This creeped me out as I instantly got the feeling that they werent worried about me, they just wanted to know where I was. I felt it was very intrusive and over the top.

If there was a young woman living alone next to me and I hadn't seen her for a week,I wouldn't dream of getting an estate agent to ring her. It is totally creepy.

Now I am back in my house, my neighbours are creeping me out more. Many times that I go into my front garden, the men come out and stare at me.

For example I went out to cut my front lawn.
I was cutting my front lawn, and the man next door came out into his front garden, and just stared at me the whole time.

Then this morning I went out to pick up a delivery. Next door , he was walking out of his front garden. But when he saw me come into my garden, he stopped walking, just stood there and stayed in his garden and stared at me until I went back in. They never say a word. Just stare.

What do I do. I'm starting to feel really upset in this house. I wanted to have a nice private house. Now I'm starting to feel uncomfortable every time I go out.

OP posts:
newbiename · 22/07/2022 10:26

Sorry no advice but how awful.

vodkaredbullgirl · 22/07/2022 10:29

Have you spoke to them about it? I know it might not be comfortable for you.

Pinot4me · 22/07/2022 10:30

I remember your first post. It’s all very odd and would creep me out too but I think i would have to take back control and confront them. Just say hello the next time you see them and see how they respond.
I hope it works out for you!

WulyJmpr · 22/07/2022 10:51

I would move house. Be careful confronting nutters. Not worth the risk.

Starpeople · 22/07/2022 10:53

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ColadhSamh · 22/07/2022 11:08

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Original poster
Mooshamoo · 22/07/2022 11:08

@Starpeople yes it is genuine.

This is small town Ireland. Which can be intrusive, patriarchal and claustrophoic at the best of times. Every old man knows every old man here.

Thought ive lived in other bigger towns in Ireland and it was fine.

This one has to be the worst town I've lived in, for the nosiness.

My neighbours (roughly in their 60s) are best friends with the local estate agent , (also a man in his 60s) who I used to buy my house.

When I went on holiday for a week, my neighbours didn't have my phone number. They knew my estate agent had my phone number.

They got my estate agent to ring me and ask me where I was (they said to see if I was okay). So intrusive! And they just stare at me all the time.

I don't really know what to do. Its hard. I really miss living in bigger cities.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mooshamoo · 22/07/2022 11:14

@ColadhSamh my thread about my neighbours was never removed. I just looked at Mumsnet post search. My neighbours thread is still there.

Check your facts before you come on and insult someone

Ignore @ColadhSamh

OP posts:
PuckeredArseFace · 22/07/2022 11:19

I thought it crime to intimidate someone now ? Get police advice

BIWI · 22/07/2022 11:20

Why have you started a second thread though? It's virtually identical to your first. What are you trying to achieve?

ColadhSamh · 22/07/2022 11:24

Your last thread was most certainly removed. It got very nasty with racist, offensive and xenophobic comments. Now which is it as to who lives next door? Two middle aged men or possibly a father and son (40 & 60's)

ColadhSamh · 22/07/2022 11:27

BTW title of removed thread was 'Ireland is so hard to live in'. It was last week and a continuation of the same theme.

amitoooldforthisshit · 22/07/2022 11:30

ohh no not this again!

Original poster
Mooshamoo · 22/07/2022 11:31

@biwi. Its not identical as I've written what has happened since I came back from holiday.

I wanted to write it down today as I felt upset, and i'm wondering what other people did in a similar situation. This forum is to get advice. Maybe someone has been through similiar

OP posts:
rightonthyme · 22/07/2022 11:37

This is awful to hear. Some of the shit we have to do in order to get creeps to leave us alone is unreal. Some practical idea (some more practical than others):Get CCTV up and runningGet a dogWear a ring on your ring fingerLook up some male voices on youtube or radio 4 or something, play them just loud enough to be heard with closed doors but not distinctly - make them think you have male companyWhen you leave the house, have a fake phonecall like "yes see you tonight darling"If you have male friends or relatives, get them to visit if you can - just to be visibleLet your postie know (quietly) what's going on. They can be invaluable in spotting weird behaviourNothing wrong with submitting something online to the police as a way of tracking the behaviour - it can help build up a picture over time (I am having to do this now)

rightonthyme · 22/07/2022 11:39

oh my gosh formatting fail!! I'll make it more readable:
Get CCTV up and running.

  1. Get a dog
  2. Wear a ring on your ring finger
  3. Look up some male voices on youtube or radio 4 or something, play them just loud enough to be heard with closed doors but not distinctly - make them think you have male company
  4. When you leave the house, have a fake phonecall like "yes see you tonight darling"
  5. If you have male friends or relatives, get them to visit if you can - just to be visibleLet your postie know (quietly) what's going on. They can be invaluable in spotting weird behaviour
  6. Nothing wrong with submitting something online to the police as a way of tracking the behaviour - it can help build up a picture over time (I am having to do this now)
BIWI · 22/07/2022 11:39

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theemmadilemma · 22/07/2022 11:47

My best friend has this in rural France with the eldery farmers down the road. Only they wank at them too sometimes... we call them the League of Gentlemen.

Your best bet is to mainly ignore it. It's a bit creepy but you just have to laugh at it and ignore it. Being so much closer is quite difficult though.

phishy · 22/07/2022 11:47

Mooshamoo · 22/07/2022 11:31

@biwi. Its not identical as I've written what has happened since I came back from holiday.

I wanted to write it down today as I felt upset, and i'm wondering what other people did in a similar situation. This forum is to get advice. Maybe someone has been through similiar

Keep posting, OP.

Don't let people scare you off, you have the right to post and get help.

Original poster
Mooshamoo · 22/07/2022 11:50

@ColadhSamh you are a very strange person. so you are talking about a completely different thread that I posted, that has nothing to do with this one. It's interesting that you remember me because I do not remember you in the slightest. Are you going to come on every post I make and say "you had a thread removed". You do know that many threads are removed for many reasons right.

Do you go on every posters thread, and say "hey one of your old threads was removed".

As you said that there were racist and xenophobic posts on a previous thread I started. I want to clarify what actually happened.

I posted that thread about living in Ireland. I was talking about womens rights in Ireland.

That thread was removed and I remember the exact reason that Mumsnet gave.

They said "we are removing this thread because OP has not returned, and because some other posters have begun to insult ireland.". (I could not return for a couple of hours as I was working.)

They did not say anywhere, that I did anything wrong at all.

So again get your facts right before you insult me.

Can you go away now.

OP posts:
Cherrysoup · 22/07/2022 11:53

My immediate thought is speak to the estate agent and tell him you’re considering selling because the neighbours staring at you is freaking you out. Could he speak to them re not staring? Or ask what they’re playing at?

Staters · 22/07/2022 11:56

I remember your original post - Nosy neighbours it’s titled from 6th July and still on here.

How awful for you, it’s like they’re trying to intimidate you to make you sell. How long was the property empty before you moved in? They could be used to the total privacy they had or maybe they wanted the property for themselves but couldn’t raise the funds in time?
But as PP has suggested, get some ring doorbells and cameras put up. I caught a neighbour face up to my window peeking through when me and DH went out. (They obviously didn’t know we were just taking my car the garage then was back within 10 mins) But we have a clear recording of them with face and hands against glass staring in. Never had an issue with them before so when we got back I knocked on the door and asked what was wrong as I’d seen it on the camera and she thought we’d gone out and left our 4yr old by herself cos she didn’t see her getting in my car. I told her she was in DH’s car as we were dropping mine off at the garage (she then sees daughter getting out of DH’s car) but thanks for looking out 👀 She was embarrassed but I’m kinda grateful for the concern. Yours doesn’t sound quite as innocent as my experience though. But Ring will definitely give you a bit of security and peace of mind if so you can see what happens at your property when you’re not there as well as when you are.

Original poster
Mooshamoo · 22/07/2022 11:57

@BIWI I have no idea what their ages are. I am guessing. They have never told me.

I said one of the man was late forties. You know how some men go grey young. But looking at him this week I think I was being too generous.
. I think he is maybe mid fifties. So I think one is around mid fifties and one is maybe in his sixties .

Anyway I dont know what their ages are.

OP posts:
SpaceGoatFarm · 22/07/2022 12:00

I suspect her selling the house is what they want.

Naunet · 22/07/2022 14:11

Ugh, I hate that women still have to put up with this crap, even in their own homes. Why can’t men just leave us alone?!

Id have probably snapped “it’s rude to stare” by now, men trying to intimidate me like that just gives me the absolute rage. Do you enjoy living in the area? Would it be worth looking to move again?