One sided play dates

[lollipoprainbow]

My dd has a friend that is always inviting herself over for play dates but my dd never gets invited back to hers. In transpires that her mum doesn't like my dd going round as she always goes go up the stairs, we don't have stairs as we have a ground floor flat so stairs are a bit of novelty. My dd is autistic and I'm sure this is the real reason for the non invites. My dd adores it when this girl comes round to play as she doesn't have any other friends due to her struggling with social communication. I can't help feeling really resentful towards this other mum especially as she often has another girl over to play. Should I carry on having this girl over or refuse which would make my dd unhappy.

But the girl is allowed other friends? She doesn’t have to invite your daughter. Maybe concentrate your efforts on helping your daughter make other friends instead of obsessing over what this other girl and her mum are doing.

I wouldn’t bother inviting a 10yr old who doesn’t listen and goes upstairs against my wishes too, I’d invite the other more compliant children.

Also, you sound so nasty and bitter towards your daughters only friend. So horrible!

Surely you are then in a stronger position when the playdates are in your house - you can at least step in and defend your child if the other girl is being unkind.

From your description of the other child and her mum, I would not even consider sending my child to their house out of fear of how they would treat her

@Therealjudgejudy oh do shut up, You know nothing about my dd and her autism or how bitterly upset she gets when she isn't invited and feels left out and sad. Great username by the way judgemental and nasty.

I do feel for you a bit because your dd has chosen this girl to be her friend and it's her only friend. Is there any way that you can help her expand her circle. Invite over other girls from her class, any hobbies that she can make friends from? If this girl is being unkind then I can see why it grates you so much.

You seem to be under the impression that the mum should put up with the stair issue because shes autistic

She doesn't

Continue to invite the girl around for your daughter's sake but their is no obligation for it to be reciprocal

@Therealjudgejudy you too absolutely vile criticising an autistic child shame on you.

Thank you @Mally100

How is going up and downstairs, and into friends bedroom bad behaviour? Throwing and breaking toys, being cheeky, hitting and shouting at one another are bad behaviours! Generally being a bit excitable, giddy and loud are normal behaviours.
Do you just want kids to sit and watch tv and be quiet- sounds fun at your house 🙄

That response was meant for @Therealjudgejudy

@Happyhibiscus agree, I'd hardly think going up the stairs is that awful!!

Shame on me for calling you out for telling people to shut up and fuck off?

You are vile. Parent better and grow up. It will help you and your daughter long term. I'm out, work calls.

How is going up and downstairs, and into friends bedroom bad behaviour?

If you've been told not to go upstairs, of course its bad behaviour. This is why people don't want your children over, you haven't taught them how to behave as you don't appear to know.

@Therealjudgejudy I said it to two people who said things about my child. Have a lovely day at work won't you.

Wow, it’s quite apparent now why the daughter has no invites over now, to avoid the crazy mother 😳

If you're under the impression that your child is immune to any criticism because she as additional needs, you are very wrong and suggests another reason why people aren't inviting your child over.

Those of us with children with such needs need to teach them how to behave, not expect the whole world to not have expectations of them. You're letting your child down.

@WillMcAvoy wow so sanctimonious aren't you

Yes, works beckons. Family law the last 5 years. You need to stop excusing yourself and grow up. Your daughter would benefit

So from what we've been told, we can assume the daughter feels entitled to go upstairs against the host DMs wishes.

I can't possibly imagine where the child learned to be so entitled 9regardless of any SEN). Oh no, not at all.

@Therealjudgejudy I've no interest in what your job is.

Probably because you don't have one...

@Therealjudgejudy you sound a real professional

My DS is autistic. When he is at other peoples houses he is to behave himself while there. If he is told not to go somewhere and he does it then he has no one to blame but himself if he doesn’t get invited back.
The older the kids get the more complicated the friendships become. It’s very difficult for autistic kids to maintain friendships. So as parents we often need to go above and beyond to facilitate what friendships they do have.

@Therealjudgejudy wrong