to ask if most people openly share salaries with friends (and families?) in the UK?

[polka6]

I know it often comes up on MN how much people earn etc, are people in the UK anywhere near as open in real life? what about with close friends - do you share when you have a promotion etc? Is it more standard to do that with family?

Personally, I more or less share the details with parents and friends in the same line of work (who earn similar or previous have done or will do in the future) but not so much with friends not in the same career circles and probably downplay it whereas the general consensus on MN seems to be people inflate the figures?

Me and my friends do

It's certainly considered crass in my circles. Although I have a friend who is engaged to someone of a different ethnic background and they were asked straight up on the first date, then again by the parents, by wider family at other gatherings (eg weddings) and salary discussions are quite common around the dinner table.

(May be a one off so don't want to say which ethnicity it is for fear of being labelled a racist!)

Why?
It only takes a couple of posts on every thread on MM before the bashing starts. ‘You must be very Privileged’, lower earners work harder’, blah2.
The ‘general public’ isn’t interested in bettering themselves. They just want to pull people down.

caveat: I’m perfectly aware that not everyone can be a ‘higher earner’. I’m aware of how lucky I am.

But ‘making people aware’ of high salaries isn’t the public service that people are making it out to be. To people in your own industry/on the same level yeah. But not randoms. If someone is driven and ambitious I have no problem telling them, otherwise…

by same level I mean with the same mindset.
I myself have been mentored by amazing people into my current job, defo pay it forward.

There would be greater pay equality if people were more open about their wages.

I would tell my friends what I earnt if they asked/ it came up in context. I think the way we all shy away from any talk about money has a detrimental impact on all our finances and society's attitude to finances.

The British side of my family don't talk about salaries at all. It would be considered incredibly rude to ask someone what they earn, and incredibly inappropriate for someone to bring up their own salary.

The Spanish side of my family, however, will openly discuss it with anyone. They have zero taboo around the subject. It's like saying what's for dinner 😅 so I would say it's a cultural thing in the UK

The ‘general public’ isn’t interested in bettering themselves. They just want to pull people down.

I don't agree with this so maybe that's why I don't find it such an issue.

@TedMullins agree

Fair enough. Guess it depends on your life experiences and the people you find around you

perhaps i'm in a mc bubble!

I find people who talk about money or share how much they earn quite bizarre. I have a few friends that do this. I think it’s a very private thing and we certainly do not share about much we earn to anybody.

Never. Why would anyone do this? Plus, it's considered very vulgar to discuss money.

Haha maybe!
TBH the title did say family and friends. Not all and sundry.
Most of my close friends are in a similar position to me, open discussion.
There are people I consider friends, as I see them regularly. I go to meet-ups groups and stuff. However you can never tell what sort of people they are, once when they conversation turned to finances one person said they were mortgage free, inherited. Everyone was polite to their face. But then later bitched about them behind their backs.
Don’t want to tell family because mine would expect me to pay for stuff (im from a developing country) and DP’s are very, backwards and have strong opinions on people being paid loads of money for ‘nonsense jobs’. They’re all either tradies or farmers. No benefit there…

Nope. DH told his mother what he was paid (circa £50k) and her reply was "oh God, that's not much is it?" with a look of shock and distaste on her face. Made him feel like shit despite it being a good wage.

We also have friends who were shocked to find we aren't higher tax rate payers and still got child benefit etc.

I have one acquaintance who always pleaded poverty, they never really held down a job & were always spending. Then they were gifted a 750k flat, they still plead poverty! I suspect there is a trust fund as their father lives in Bermuda. They think the rest of us are dreadful for buying into capitalism. We have no choice but to work!

My family know what I earn, as does my boyfriend. I work in the civil service so most of my friends know what grade I am and can find out the exact salary if they are interested enough.

@Tigofigo ha my mum despite being an immigrant who left her country young &
poor for opportunity is like that. 100k is not much & she is shocked we are buying a terrace & thinks we will regret it!

My boyfriend and my best friends know as i came out a divorce and had to start from scratch. And the got very tricky on the financials side ( ex was a senior lawyer who lost his job half way through). So when I got promoted and could afford school fees myself etc they were all there in relief.

Interestingly, my boyfriend ( irish) had never told his ex wife or previous partner what he earned, which baffled me bit I do sometimes think he was raised in the 50s and teleported to now. He is rapidly adapting though.

No haven't discussed with family or friends. I don't have an absolute aversion to it, but can't think of any situations where needing to know my actual salary would be relevant in any conversations I might have. That said a lot of my friends and family work in the public sector so I could probably make a fairly close guess at what they make if I wanted to.

Scottish, self-employed for over 20 years. I don't discuss salary specifics with anyone. My parents never discussed theirs with me, although I have a vague idea what one earned because they worked for the local authority.

I think the fact I'm self employed makes it less likely that I'd discuss this with colleagues? We are all ultimately competitors and it's just done something that happens. Some people in my industry are registered as limited companies though, so if I had a burning urge to find out, I could out check their returns on Companies House.

I discuss salary with close friends irl. On mn I accurately post how much I earn because it’s an anonymous message board. I don’t see the excitement of some posters claiming posters are lying if they have large salaries. I know lots of people irl who earn that sort of money.

I don't because I earn more than most people I hang out with and it would definitely come across as boasting. But on the other hand I think it's sad we're not more open about salaries, as now I earn more, I realise that the trick to a higher salary is knowing what is possible and demanding what you're worth.

I cant think of an example of when I would volunteer the information, but if someone asked I dont mind telling them!

No I don't share salary info. My DH knows of course, and work colleagues know because we are all on a salary scale. No one else does though as I earn well and tend to find people judge jealously, which is ridiculous!
Many of the most judgy are unfortunately women who work PT by choice with on tap grandparent childcare and a DH/P who earns well. I find they see it as different for me to earn well than for their DPs because I'm a woman. But what they don't see is I don't have the options they do. I have no choice but to work because I have to support my family, DH can't work due to ill health, so although he's around I also have to fund childcare. We have no family to assist with this. So while I earn a lot and seemingly have a comfortable lifestyle, I don't have the choices and support that many take for granted.

Some things are best kept private.

Yes, I share what I pay myself very openly if people ask. It's above average and more than my family members earn, but below what several of my friends earn. I don't care if people know how much money I make, and I think it's a very odd and outdated attitude to consider it crass to talk about money openly. If as a society we were more open about money, I think people would be encouraged to be more fiscally responsible and more inclined to become increasingly financially literate, particularly if budgeting info, investing and saving choices etc were also shared. I love seeing what other people do with their money because it was never talked about when I grew up and I came to financial literacy later than I would have otherwise chosen, simply because I didn't know what I didn't know.