to ask if most people openly share salaries with friends (and families?) in the UK?

[polka6]

I know it often comes up on MN how much people earn etc, are people in the UK anywhere near as open in real life? what about with close friends - do you share when you have a promotion etc? Is it more standard to do that with family?

Personally, I more or less share the details with parents and friends in the same line of work (who earn similar or previous have done or will do in the future) but not so much with friends not in the same career circles and probably downplay it whereas the general consensus on MN seems to be people inflate the figures?

No, we’d never share specific amounts earned with our friends. It’s easy to roughly guess in most of our lines of work, and we share if we’ve got a promotion, but we’d never say X amount.

No. I earn loads more than most of my friends but wouldn't say anyway.

I don't. I think the only time I've mentioned it is on here because it doesn't matter

Absolutely not. I do think people would like to be more open, given the wealth of replies on salary threads. But society still expects that we don’t talk about salaries, home values etc.

No. I think discussing finances is considered crass, and unless you are pretty sure you are earning a similar salary to the person you are talking to it would be rather insensitive.

I would never discuss my salary with anyone other than DH. I am not a high earner.

I work for the NHS so my salary is public knowledge via Google if people are interested. Most of my friends also work in the NHS or public services like the police and teaching, so I have an idea of their salaries too.

One of my closest friends works in accounting, and I know what she earns because I convinced her to ring back and negotiate for a higher salary after she got offered her current job.

It’s considered a bit crass as PP said.

My 2 best female friends know what I earn (as we have discussed salary negotiation), and I know what they earn too (same reason). My siblings have a vague idea

I think it can just cause envy or people taking advantage of you are a high earner, and perhaps an uncomfortable topic whatever you earn

No. Payroll, my manager and my husband are the only people I discuss my salary with in real life.

DH absolutely not
myself yes only because you can find out what I earn in one click online, the salary scales are published and it’s very obvious so there’s no point in hiding it, I don’t like discuss it in everyday conversation but at work most of us are on the same salary or if someone asks I tell them as they can find out easily

Interesting replies. A unanimous no. I wonder if the culture is same around the world…

Do you guys share with family or no across the board?

No - not even DP knows how much I earn or what other income I bring in
its strictly between the accountant, payroll and the inland revenue

No I don't share it with anyone.

I’m fairly open, and funnily enough was talking to DH earlier about how I appreciate transparency when others also share. Background to that was when I was starting out my career I had no idea what was achievable in terms of earning potential. By having an awareness of friends’ salaries helped me decide what field etc I wanted to pursue. This was before sites like glassdoor though.

As a mentor for young people starting out, I also think transparency helps them.

It becomes crass when it’s a boastful conversation.

No, like most it is considered crass.

No, I don't discuss salaries with anyone - well, other than when applying for a mortgage or something. It is nobody else's business what we earn, and not mine what they earn.

I have always found it odd that people in the UK don't talk about salaries. I have always been open about what I earn to husband (when I had one!), children, sister, and any friends who wanted to know. There have been times when I've earned a lot of money and these days, when I earn very little indeed.
Even happy to tell a stranger if they ask.
Cannot understand all the secrecy over salaries, but I notice even my family don't tell me what they earn in return. Well, except for my sister.
When I lived overseas there wasn't the same reticence. It's just another weird thing about the British!

I have no idea how much any of my friends earn and have never told anyone anything about mine. I have always been told it is rude to talk money.

I would share with my own family and MIL that I got a promotion, but would never mention the payrate. None of their business IMO! I wasn't born British but have lived here 18yrs.

My English MIL is, IMO, very forward and will ask what did that cost, what do you earn, how much was that??? I find this rude. I would never ask her what she earns or what her company turns over.

I also don't discuss this with friends/relatives. A close cousin once told me what she earned. I was surprised at how low her wage was, and this was even more reason for me to not say anything about mine. I don't want her to feel bad of inferior because I'm on a higher wage.

OP- do you and family/friends discuss wages? If so, why, if no, why not?

No I wouldn’t discuss earnings. However one of the first things an American friend told me was that her husband was a ‘high earner’.
Really put me off her!

Agree. It's a weird British hangup and very bad in terms of achieving equitable pay for similar roles.

I would never discuss it with strangers as it's not the "done thing" here but I do find it odd that it seems to be a taboo topic.

With friends we discuss it - and I have friends who earn far more and far less than me - because financial issues are one of the main issues people often need support with and you can't understand someone's situation without knowing relative figures of income and commitments/ outgoings. I am single so if I can't discuss it with my friends I could never discuss it with anybody!

It would only be "crass" if someone was boasting about it, so an opposite situation to needing support with money worries. But it would be crass to boast about any topic: no more so money than anything else.

I do and my friends and colleagues (in the same job - think contact centre /simple admin) do also.
In my current role, absolutely not because the salary scale is massively diverse .
My line manager is amazingly honest about this (she came from very humble beginnings and knows I do too) and as a result won't allow me to match the amounts I put in to collections / drinks rounds etc with higher earning colleagues 🤯. It is so refreshing.

I do and I encourage my friends and peers do the same. It helps everyone work out whether they are being paid market rates. I believe it's particularly important for women to do this.

Sharing that type of information on mumsnet is nothing like sharing in real life. Mumsnet is anonymous, if somebody posts about their high salary, I would assume it is for information and relevant to that thread, it isn’t bragging because nobody know who you are anyway, well it is at worst pointless bragging.

Real life, no absolutely would not share that information. The only person that has ever known my salary is my DH, well possibly my parents knew my salary from my very first job thirty odd years ago, but nobody else. I would tell family of new jobs, but I don’t think I have ever mentioned promotions.

Only share with my DP. My salary is easily checked online but I don't tell people what grade I am so family/friends wouldn't actually be able to check. I think they think I earn a lot less than I do (I don't earn a lot, especially by MN standards, but it's no one's business).

No my OH knows and mum knows. I wouldn't tell my friends.

Certainly not friends. Good friends/colleagues i do because it’s relevant- sometimes if we are in a similar role it makes sense to chat about it and bonuses etc. But never anyone else.