to ask if most people openly share salaries with friends (and families?) in the UK?

[polka6]

I know it often comes up on MN how much people earn etc, are people in the UK anywhere near as open in real life? what about with close friends - do you share when you have a promotion etc? Is it more standard to do that with family?

Personally, I more or less share the details with parents and friends in the same line of work (who earn similar or previous have done or will do in the future) but not so much with friends not in the same career circles and probably downplay it whereas the general consensus on MN seems to be people inflate the figures?

No, never.

But both DH and I work in the public sector, so the pay scales are easy enough to Google from our job titles if anyone cared to find out.

I work in the public sector and my salary is easily found online. DH is in the private sector and earns in the top 2%. I don’t think many of our friends would have a clue what our household income is because we aren’t flash at all, although it would be obvious that money isn’t an issue. I did once tell DM what DH earned and it’s been held against me ever since to the point that she’s decided to cut me out of her will because ‘you don’t need anything’.

Nope, the only people that know are DH and when teenage DC have asked we have been honest but told them it was not to be shared. Our families don’t know and we don’t know their income either.

i think it would just be awkward, we are probably better off than most of our friends. I don’t want to advertise that or look like I’m boasting.

it was funny years ago (pre zoopla days) when newish friends from another country walked into our house and said “nice house, how much did it cost you?” We were stunned as there is no way people would ask that here. Of course now everyone can find out online easily but I think people would still never ask directly.

Just DH. It doesn’t matter to anyone else!

No, not even immediate family (apart from DH). In a society so focused on money and consumption and yet so terribly unequal, discussing money ALWAYS has the potential to cause bad feeling. As a high earner I never wanted to be the object of any resentment and I never wanted my children talking about it with their friends. Family dynamics can be badly affected by envy - just read some of threads on here! You may think it doesn’t affect your relationships but it almost certainly does.

No. Never. I once asked on a night out and people were horrified.

I'm Irish and have never discussed how much I earn. Not even with parents, brother, sister, best friend etc. I don't know anyone who does. I've no idea what anyone earns (other than a vague estimation based on what industry they're in and a bit of Googling out of curiosity!)

I've discussed it with DM, as she lives with us. Told her when I got a payrise. DH knows how much I earn and I tell DDs if they ask me. Anyone else - nope, never comes up.

I think it would make a massive difference to the gender pay gap and general pay wankyness if:

a) salaries were discussed openly

b) salaries were always posted on job ads.

I'm in France and no one discusses them here either. I work in a fairly small company with a massive global spread of employees. They are trying to create a salary pay scale.

It's going to create chaos when it's published! I suspect they've been paying as little as they could get away with and the wages bill will take a huge hike.

There are one or two friends I have discussed it with, but generally no, I don't bring it up. DH knows what I earn of course, as it's his money too.

Never. It's simply not considered polite to discuss it (whether you agree with that view or not). I know exactly what DH earns, but only our IFA (and his company/tax man obviously) know. Talking about money can generate huge jealousy, whichever end of the pay range you are.

Same. Dh is a very high earner, and I think our friends would be shocked to know how much and I would hate that.

My family are too financially competitive and say silly shit like "My Mil was on a pension of Euro90k and that's not a lot is it!" "Only failures still have a mortgage at aged 40." "I have no need to work - we have enough wealth to happily sale us though retirement" my dsis offered to bankroll my father with unlimited funds (that didn't go well). My father proclaimed that if you didn't run your own business you were a failure (we didn't at the time) - he didn't really respect dh until we did.
Dh's family have very little money.

So on no account would discussing salary/money be a good idea with either side of the family!

It does make me laugh when people say their friends have no idea of their income because they don't splash the cash etc, surely the friends could be doing the same. One of my friends is a nurse but lives a 6 fig lifestyle because she inherited in her 20s.

Apart from joking with my parents about my wage being above minimum (a penny!) when I first got the job, then no.

I have told a few friends my then-salary in the past when it’s come up in conversation but it’s not something that comes up very often, I don’t really think any of my friends/ family are that interested in knowing but if a good friend or family member did ask or it were relevant to conversation I would be happy to tell them.

No. My friends and family earn from somewhere around minimum wage to a pretty high salary, but it's irrelevant to our relationships. As soon as you start talking actual numbers in this situation, you shine a light on to the differences better you and risk bringing resentment into relationships.

No-one needs to know the actual amount that their cousin/friend/SIL earns, do they?

No, because people are jealous and judgemental. I’m very happy to share with other professionals, by way of exchanging knowledge. But not tell all and sundry.

I used to be open with others but then I could never have a moan about how much things cost because it would immediately result in them going ‘but you earn XXX, I only earn Y’. Never mind that they were living at home rent-free and I wasn’t…

If ‘people’ want to know what professions are highly paid there are sites like glassdoor. No need for real life people to tell them. If they’re the jealous type they’re not going to be arsed to improve their own lives either

Well, my friends, relatives and I do discuss salaries. I think it’s really important not to be secretive about it. It’s quite an open topic.

Yes I do. I work for the Nhs so my banding salary is transparent for the whole world to see if you Google it. No point in trying to hide it.

Also I agree that it benefits everyone to be open. I’m always transparent with all my staff, colleagues, people I’m talking to about the industry.
However with ‘everyday life’ people its always been used against me so no.

My mum and dad ask when I move jobs, and I tell them - why not? It's not a secret.

I don't talk to friends about it, but I'd tell them if they asked outright (although it'd be a bit weird to ask I think!).

No. It’s really crass. Nobody needs to know what anyone else earns.

No.

Not since I moved out of home and stopped giving Mum a %.

I wouldn’t talk about it with family and friends. At work everyone is banded so it is obvious. I think it is culturally not a norm to discuss finances. The other day a delivery driver asked me how much our house was worth and I was really taken aback and just muttered something like oh I’m not sure but they’ve gone up since we bought.

on house prices though, I think it’s quite common to Google the price of someone’ house so it might not be openly discussed but you can guarantee your friends will know how much you’ve paid for a house.