to ask if most people openly share salaries with friends (and families?) in the UK?

[polka6]

I know it often comes up on MN how much people earn etc, are people in the UK anywhere near as open in real life? what about with close friends - do you share when you have a promotion etc? Is it more standard to do that with family?

Personally, I more or less share the details with parents and friends in the same line of work (who earn similar or previous have done or will do in the future) but not so much with friends not in the same career circles and probably downplay it whereas the general consensus on MN seems to be people inflate the figures?

Me & DH are completely open with each other but its not something I would discuss with anyone else.

I tell my dad and my sister my salary.
It can vary quite a lot from job to job for me.

At work I know three of five of us on the team are on the same. But generally due to contractors v perm sometimes being a contentious issue we wouldn't talk more widely about salary.

Within families money can be quite complicated. There can be assumptions and judgements made, petty jealousies etc.

My wider family (DM, DBs) don't know my salary or our general financial situation. They have always been public sector (now retired) and probably wouldn't understand the complexity of private sector salary, pensions, bonuses etc.

I work for the public sector so my salary is fairly easy to guess. DH is a high earner, I don't share his salary with anyone (friends or family) and I don't think he does either as it could be awkward.

I do agree with the poster up thread who mentioned being open with young people (in a mentoring type way) so that they are aware of the well paid options out there. Especially girls, who tend to end up in lower paid jobs. I do a few school visits as part of my job and I talk about this.

No. My old dad told me never to tell people how much you earn or how you vote. It's worked well for me so far.

In my family we do but only when looking at new jobs, getting promotions etc. a few close friends know my salary and I know their but we all earn within the same ballpark and it’s rarely comes up. Very open with money when talking to family but not friends

I also think the information on “public sector salaries” is very skewed. Now, I appreciate that there’s a huge variety of work within the public sector, but it’s often presented a a fact -“public sector =low pay”. But public sector workers the highest paid people I know. My friends who are nurses or teachers earn much more than both DH and I do - with our top degrees from top universities- which is why I’d be thrilled if my DD became a teacher (she won’t).

That doesn't make sense at all. You have no idea that percentage mortgage someone has on their house purchase.

But you can gauge if someone has money if they buy a 2m house

It's interesting that lots of higher earners feel the need to keep it a secret,

No never, not even my parents.

No it varies hugely and Brits are a bit weird about this IME but different cultures focus on different aspects of privacy.

I've worked in cultures where a casual stranger at an event will ask quite happily how much you earn but would never ask "are you well" because health questions would be considered deeply personal and intrusive.

Nope. I only have the vaguest idea what my friends earn - even those from the same industry who I've met through work (I'd know what they started on as we were unionised then, but not through the years of promotions etc).
In fact isn't it considered particularly rude?
It can be discussed on MN because it's anonymous.

My husband knows what I earn and vice versa. But that's it.

We don't tell other people including family and I don't know what other family members or friends earn.

I’d happily tell if someone asks. It doesn’t really come up in general chit chat though. I know how much my dad makes because he loves talking about finances - it doesn’t exactly make for riveting conversation 😄

Nobody needs to know what anyone else earns.

I think they do. The partners at my DBs work earn 1.5m on average. There is a reason why most partners are white men from specific backgrounds.

Never ever share your salary IME. As a Manager, the number of times that someone has shared their salary/bonus with a good friend at work and this friend has walked straight in to complain that that person is overpaid is very high.

Some people will judge you if they think you do not earn much and will judge you if you earn too much. Just keep money out of it.

I'm obviously in a minority here but yes.

Family and close friends in my circle all openly share salaries, but only if it comes up in discussion or in the context of something specific.

To me there is no issue, and my close friends and family don't bat an eyelid about it either.

No. I am in a well paid profession but I've never told anyone exact amounts. About 12 years ago I had a recruiter approach me and told me I could get £60k to move which was a lot then. I told my dad and he told me how his friends dd was on £100k! So I just felt my new salary wasn't good enough. Taught me a lesson not to tell anyone anything.

Also when drunk once I was making fun of a tight junior colleague and I mentioned their wage to a friend. By implication I was saying my salary was higher. I felt ashamed later.

I'm not proud of my wage now. I appreciate its high compared to some on mumsnet and a pittance compared to the tesla driving, big house dwelling, private school attending, safari holidaying people of mumsnet!

Hell no. The only person who knows my salary is DH.

DH and I know each other’s - similar line of work (so knew each other’s salaries even before we were married), joint accounts, joint mortgage, kids etc. We also have additional sources of income that we are transparent about.
No-one else knows our income.

I'm a teacher so it would be easy to find out what I earn. I've never talked about money with my friends because I know from their jobs (eg cleaner, care worker) that I must earn a lot more than they do and I'd find it awkward and embarrassing.

That sounds great. More pay transparency would be a good thing, especially for women tbh.

No. Too uncomfortable. I know I earn a lot more than some of my close friends and family and I’d feel really uncomfortable if they knew by how much. Only person who knows my salary is my DH.

I agree. I think all salaries should be publicly available.

Disagree. People shouldn’t be on wildly different salaries for the same job so colleagues absolutely should discuss it.

also for all the people saying “it’s considered rude/I was brought up being told not to talk about it” do you never question anything you’re told? Positive change only happens because people challenge the status quo and resist doing things in the name of tradition or expectation. Just because someone told you not to talk about salaries doesn’t mean you have to abide by that.