To think if you borrow something you should return it?

[justawoman93]

Me and DH lent out a piece of equipment that cost us £100 to what I thought was a good friend.
The other day DH needed it to do a job, reliezed friend hadn't returned it. So I messaged her asking for it back to be told she had sold it saying she thought it was hers and didn't relieze it was our item. (She knew full well it was a loan I have texts of her asking to borrow it)

She hasn't offered the money for said item and simply starting complaining she's skint and has no money (don't we all right now)

AIBU to be very pissed off? I'm not even sure I want to remain friends with her now as she clearly doesn't respect our friendship enough or am I being a bit over the top?

I'm really disappointed as I don't usually lend out things unless I can trust said person and she's completely broken my trust but on the other hand she is going through a bit of a rough time right now so I feel guilty for being angry. We can't afford to replace the piece of equipment that's been sold either so now the job will have to wait a couple of months which again is something that needed to be done quite quickly.

The notion of walking in to a police station and reporting this when the police are so very overstretched atm, and potentially in an ex good friend who has behaved appallingly but presumably has many other redeeming features to have been a “good friend”, being arrested - literally makes my toes curl with embarrassment

bit something you would do @StoppinBy

YANBU, your friend has taken the piss.
Do you live in an area with a library of things? They're usually really good for getting equipment you wouldn't necessarily want to buy (like hedge trimmers, telescopic chainsaws, wet & dry carpet cleaners etc) for free or cheap and generally let you borrow them for as long as you need.

With the small claims court you get your money plus the court fee as far as I know.

That was theft - not borrowing or a mistake.

Stealing from your friends... suggests that they are not really friends.

THIS ^

Of course it needs to be returned, no matter what the timescale.

The cost of the Small Claim gets added to the amount owing. In your position I would definitely pursue a claim. I'm outraged on your behalf.

Tell he that kf she has no money then she needs to sell something else (of hers!!) to buy you a replacement.
If she can afford a holiday she can afford to do this.

You’d sell off an item your friend lent you?

Cool.

Can I borrow your car? And your house. Thanks.

I would chase her and chase her for the money to replace it. Even if you never get the money she is no friend to you anyway.

Really??

You would ask repeatedly to BORROW an expensive piece of equipment, not return it then SELL IT?!!

Jeeezus, this shit belongs on a CF thread!!

What on earth!

oh do take her to small claims court, it really isn't a faff at all - fill out a form pay the fee, submit any evidence (see if she listed it on fb market place too!)...

Thats it - if you win, and I cannot see why you would not, she would have to pay your costs, and what she owes you.

But more importantly, it tells her that not EVERYONE will just roll over and let her treat them like shit - and I bet she expects that they will, I bet she does this sort of fuckery to lots of people and they just let it go because 'its too much of a faff'...

I'm normally a massive pushover when it comes to things like this but even I, in this circumstance would be taking her to small claims.

If she’d had it for years it would be more understandable but she’d had it for 3 weeks?! She’s definitely stolen your item to sell on for money, it’s theft and she is no friend at all.

'Dear ex friend, you borrowed x item from me, that means you are required to return it. I find it impossible to believe that after 3 weeks you've forgotten it was mine and have sold it. I need it back to do a job urgently. I suggest you get in touch with the person who bought it and buy it back. Alternatively, I have found a few of similar quality on eBay with an average price of £x. Please reply to let me know which course is preferable to you. Sadly if neither the item or £x is passed onto me I will be forced to purse the matter in the small claims court.'

You can advise her you'll be suing her for the replacement cost of the item plus the court costs. That won't be a mere £65, it'll be more. There's no point asking for the sum that she sold it for, you won't be able to buy another relatively new item for that amount. You need a replacement to put you back in the position that you were in before you lent it to her. Tell her you have screenshots of the text messages she's sent regarding this and can prove to a court that she knew it was a loan and that she's confirmed she's sold it.

If that isn't enough, start the process for small claims court. You can't lose, she hasn't got a leg to stand on. Obviously she's going to fall out with you over this but that's no loss is it? You don't need dishonest user people in your life, never mind as so-called friends.

YANBU but you have a few options

a) do nothing - you are a mug
b) take her to small claims/get a theft report filed
c) don’t do b. But chalk up that for the price of £100 you have learnt a lesson about your ‘friend’ and completely cut her out your life, not partially or for a little while - totally

What a c*nt

I’d text her saying I’d phoned the police with the evidence. Then I’d phone the police with the evidence. She’s a thief.

Ring the airline the day before her departure and tell them she’s got covid/chickenpox. Someone maliciously did this to DH and his ex re DSS and they couldn’t board the plane in Bulgaria. Cost over £1500 for new flights, hotels and to see a doctor to get a certificate proving he didn’t have chicken pox. There’s more than one way to skin a cat 🐈 😆 Bonus points for if she’s got no travel
insurance.

completely right to end the friendship here OP. I was hoping you'd say 3 years or something but 3 weeks is ridiculous. I have a friend who often lends me tools for DIY as her husband is slightly obsessed with buying them. They are always returned within good time with a bottle of wine or some home baked goodies as a thankyou. I don't know how anyone could be so cheeky as to sell it.

She STOLE from you.

She might have had a case if you 'abandomed' something at hers without her permission for 3 weeks or if she borrowed something and tried to return it but you wouldnt accept it back for a long time (thus abandoning it) but she can NOT ask to borrow an item, ignore you requests for it back which came in under a couple of weeks and the sell YOUR property.

Police report and possibly small claim court (if you can be bothered) is the correct move.