To think if you borrow something you should return it?

[justawoman93]

Me and DH lent out a piece of equipment that cost us £100 to what I thought was a good friend.
The other day DH needed it to do a job, reliezed friend hadn't returned it. So I messaged her asking for it back to be told she had sold it saying she thought it was hers and didn't relieze it was our item. (She knew full well it was a loan I have texts of her asking to borrow it)

She hasn't offered the money for said item and simply starting complaining she's skint and has no money (don't we all right now)

AIBU to be very pissed off? I'm not even sure I want to remain friends with her now as she clearly doesn't respect our friendship enough or am I being a bit over the top?

I'm really disappointed as I don't usually lend out things unless I can trust said person and she's completely broken my trust but on the other hand she is going through a bit of a rough time right now so I feel guilty for being angry. We can't afford to replace the piece of equipment that's been sold either so now the job will have to wait a couple of months which again is something that needed to be done quite quickly.

But shouldn't you get the value of replacing the item rather than the value she sold it for?

I've just read all your updates, honestly, I'd report to the police, fancy saying she can't afford her holiday if she replaces the item.

Oh sorry, just realised I misread your OP, I thought she sold it for $100 rather than $100 being the cost you paid.

This is so rude! I’d end the friendship immediately to be honest - not because she sold it (it could be an accident although unlikely) but because she’s ignored you and hasn’t offered to even give you the money for it. Sounds like a rubbish friend!

Are you BU to think if you borrow something you should return it?

No, but you are unreasonable to even ask the question.

Anyone in their right mind knows if you borrow something you should return it.

YANBU

I borrowed something from a friend. They didn’t ask for it back for a year. I forgot I had it, as did they. I couldn’t find it. I bought friend a new one to replace it immediately and all was well. My own fault I landed out of pocket, and this was a £20 item! Your friend is out of order and is on the defensive because she knows full well she is.

What??????

Sounds to me like it's pre meditated wanted your item to sell for holiday money, fucking cheek

I never lend anything now after I let 2 different people borrow a carpet shampoo machine and an expensive pair of long-reach tree loppers, both came back broken & irrepairable with no explanation or offer to pay.

so following your last message requesting the money has she responded to say she can’t because she is going on holiday or are you predicting this will be her response?

And when you asked they point blank refused?

Report to police??

no words

other than

WTAF?!

Why are you struggling so much to understand that?

If someone came to your property and stole the item would you let them get away with it? This is no different. It's been three weeks since the OP lent the item and the 'friend' sold it to someone and is now refusing to replace it... that's theft.

It’s theft.

you need to tell her she needs to replace the item with 7 days or you will go to the police.
She has intentionally borrowed something off you to sell.
I wouldn’t be giving a shit about her finances as she’s going on holiday.

Seriously you think this is ok?

So you condone what is essentially theft?

Make sure you warn your circle not to lend anything to her as they're unlikely to see it again.

This.

The gall of some people is unbelievable. Don't allow her to get away with it.

Trouble is small claims court is £35 so by the time I've done that I'll only get £65 back. It's not worth it.

Telling/threatening her with taking her to court costs nothing; this friendship has expired anyway, so you won't lose it.

Really shitty behaviour from your (now, ex) friend OP.

Whilst I haven't had anything as blatant as that - I've been stung a few times by lending thing - so many things come back in bad condition/broken or it becomes a massive pain in the arse to chase and then make all the effort to get the item back. I just stop myself opening my mouth to offer a long time ago now. Obviously, some people aren't like this but I've been surprised by some of the people who take the piss so it just isn't worth the risk.

Realistically, without going to loads of effort there isn't much you can do other than stop this friendship completely and stop lending things.

It is theft

I'd be raging, she's robber!
Ask her to replace it and then ditch her.

You won’t get £65 back, but £135. The fees are added on to the total.

if she can’t pay £100 upfront, then get her to pay £20 every week. Doesn’t matter if she sold it for less than the value, she owes you the full price.

After 3 weeks she's taking the mick and you need to make her buy you a new one to replace it.

Not least I wouldn’t want to waste police time on this

but whilst this friend has behaved appallingly, this was a “good friend” presumably someone who up until this the op did like, a lot, and you would involve the police and potentially get this person arrested and with a criminal record?

So many replies taking this poster seriously. I think, I think they were being sarcastic.... 😁