To think if you borrow something you should return it?

[justawoman93]

Me and DH lent out a piece of equipment that cost us £100 to what I thought was a good friend.
The other day DH needed it to do a job, reliezed friend hadn't returned it. So I messaged her asking for it back to be told she had sold it saying she thought it was hers and didn't relieze it was our item. (She knew full well it was a loan I have texts of her asking to borrow it)

She hasn't offered the money for said item and simply starting complaining she's skint and has no money (don't we all right now)

AIBU to be very pissed off? I'm not even sure I want to remain friends with her now as she clearly doesn't respect our friendship enough or am I being a bit over the top?

I'm really disappointed as I don't usually lend out things unless I can trust said person and she's completely broken my trust but on the other hand she is going through a bit of a rough time right now so I feel guilty for being angry. We can't afford to replace the piece of equipment that's been sold either so now the job will have to wait a couple of months which again is something that needed to be done quite quickly.

Really?

I'd go with one last message along the lines of, "you've got until the end of the week to replace it like-for-like or I'm going to the police". She'll either ignore you or reply with some garbage sob story. If she replies just say the friendship is over as no "friend" steals from you.

I don't lend anything out any more - too many people have just either not returned the item or thrown it out. Returning to the original person does not occur to them.😡

Seems possession is 9 tenths of the law. 😒

Small claims you’ll get fee back on top of amount awarded if you win.

Your ridiculous

I will buy the item again in a few months, and never ever lend out any of my things ever again. I'm done being a mug!

op, lending it in the first place didn’t make you a mug, not at all, but letting her get away with it is. She obviously doesn’t give a shit about losing the friendship so that’s no loss. Take her to small claims, you’ll get the money it’s cost you back plus what she owes. Don’t roll over and let her get away with it.

You're ridiculous...to think that's a serious response🙄

No it's not fine it's theft. 🤔😡

She is a theif a criminal. 3 weeks and she thought it was hers? She had every intention of selling it when she borrowed it.

When and how did she sell it. Was it Ebay, do you know. Report her to the police it is theft

Three weeks! How can you forget you borrowed a £100 piece of equipment in three weeks! And sell it that quickly.

Are you kidding? You'd borrow something from a friend and then sell it?

Theft is dishonestly appropriating property with the intention to permanently deprive. She has taken the property under the ruse of borrowing - dishonest appropriation and she has sold it on so clearly an intention to permanently deprive. So yes it is by the legal definition theft!

Have you misread the ops post?
I would send her a link of the item and tell you expect it replaced by x date or you will be issuing Small Claims Legal Papers

I'd definitely bin her over this. Absolutely taking the piss

I'm wondering if she really has sold it tbh and that she's just saying that so that she can keep it.

(happened to me once)

It's surprisingly easy to take someone to the Small Claims Court. You have the texts from her asking to borrow it and from her saying she sold it, so it's cut and dry. Fill in the forms online and email them to her. Simply seeing that you are serious will probably make her cough up, but if not it's inexpensive to proceed to court and she'll have to pay the fees as well as reimbursing you.

I lent a friend a tent once, a big one that was fairly new, she gave it back packed up. It was only when we went to use it again that we found out half of it was missing or torn. Needless to say I never saw much of her after that

I’d go down the official claims court route. It’s really easy and If I remember correctly, you don’t pay the £35 up front. You have to send her an official request for return of the item or it’s full replacement cost and keep a copy first and state that if you don’t get it you will take your claim to the small claim court.
if you don’t get a satisfactory response you refer it to the court and she gets a copy. It takes a couple of months with easy to fill in documents.
have had to do it a few times over the years unfortunately. I have never yet had to go to the court or pay the court fees- the system seems based on getting people to sort it out themselves. Mostly I get a reasonable offer after the first letter. Once I got to the point where the court asked me and the person I was claiming from for a list of the evidence we had (not the evidence) I sent an itemised list - eg text from x on 7.3.2021 asking to borrow a. Text on 9.3.2021 thanking me for lending a. Text on 9.6.2021 asking for return of a…… I had a cheque (yes old fashioned !) from him through the door the day after he got that list.
it’s not hard and in my experience it’s so worth it, if only to show her she’s gone too far.

No good turn goes unpunished.
As you've now learnt.

She purposely sold your item as she thinks you're a pushover. I detest people like this... I've had similar done to me.

Don't let it go, OP.

My reply would be, "if you can't afford to replace what you stole then you cannot afford to go on holiday. It will cost me £100 to replace it. Here are my bank details. I expect the payment by end of day today. You only borrowed it 3 weeks ago. There is no way you forgot that it belonged to me. You stole from me."

YANBU. She wouldn't be my friend any more.

I wonder if she has done the same with other friends, to fund her holiday?

I'm guessing the first reply was just someone trying to stir the pot.... or someone who is a complete imbecile.

YANBU in any way. I would be very angry. Broke or not your 'friend' needs to replace the item.

Eh?
you’re clearly the friend, in no situation is this normal.
3 weeks?
@justawoman93 she owes you not just the money she sold it for, she owes you the full cost of buying the original.
well done on deciding to end the friendship, sorry it took this to see what she thought of you.

Are you joking

Awful behaviour of OPs so called friend