Two burgers and chips is too much?

[UnicornMadeOfPinkGlitter]

Just that. Everyone else is having bolognaise but H doesn’t want it. We have some burgers in the fridge so trying to be nice I said he can have burgers.
now he’s sulking because I won’t go to the supermarket to buy burger cheese and some frozen chips! For clarity he doesn’t drive so it would be difficult for him to go but I’ve said why do you want chips when you’ve asked for two burgers.
for clarity it’s two large burgers in buns with salad and was going to put potato salad and coleslaw on the side. But he wants chips!
he’s now saying he doesn’t want anything.

iabu- chips with two burgers is fine
ianbu- two burgers are plenty.

Do you really want to grow old with this man? If he's like this now, how will it be when the kids have left home? Or if one of you develops health problems? He sounds very draining!

Seriously, all this shit about “oh he’s a grown man, he should be allowed to eat what he likes”… do none of you people have a food budget??

Our food plan is a bit flexible. The portion of bolognese he hadn’t eaten would be a meal for another day. It wouldn’t be wasted and wouldn’t cost any more because the food would still be eaten. Sometimes dh and I eat different things.

He’s totally out of order demanding the op sorts it out for him though.

Tell him to order a takeaway chips delivery.

He’s being unreasonable for preferring to have burgers over bolognese… I mean… how could he prefer burgers over bolognese! 🤪

i’d want chips with my burger. if i couldn’t drive i’d order fries (and a mcflurry) to be delivered. job done.

Just an aside, but:

If, as it would appear from the description, your husband is 12 years old, you need to be aware that that's against the law.

Just can't believe this. This piece of scum has really done a number on you OP! Why do you let him behave like this and why do you pander to him? Being single is normal, and you'd be far, far happier and far, far wealthier!

I'd suggest you'd have a lot more better and richer months if you lost the DP and focused more on yourself, whom I may add sounds a lot more deserving of all the nice things you are bringing to this relationship.

Fn IMAGINE turning down bolognaise and burgers in 1 day, my 10 year old self would be apoplectic!

Does he have health issues or anything for the reasons he doesn’t drive or doesn’t earn much?

If not he’s got a right deal with you hasn’t he. You work two jobs to keep the family afloat, do all the driving, he sulks whenever you upset him and I’m imagining there are a number of times where you cave and capitulate to his demands

If he does not want what you are cooking it is simple, he can get his own. Why are you pandering to a sulky manchild? If he says he does not want it the answer is ok babe I will leave you to get your own.

Health issue reasons way he can't drive would make him potentially slightly less of a lazy shit waster than he's coming across as, but it doesn't excuse requiring OP to go out whilst a perfectly good dinner is cooking, to fulfil his "cravings" and then having the audacity to sulk about it.

(two burgers in buns with potato salad and salad sounds absolutely lovely to me btw).

You work a full time job plus a part time job, were cooking for the whole family, run all the errands because that's what being the only car driver in a relationship inevitably results in, and he has the absolute sheet steel balls to sulk because you won't delay/ruin everybody else's dinner because he wants chips and curly fries or hash browns just won't do??????????

He can get to fuck. I would leave him entirely out of all the meals I cooked for the family and not say a word to him about it until he apologised to me properly and we renegotiated who makes dinner most nights, because I strongly suspect you are doing way more than he is and it needs to be more equitably shared.

What exactly does he being to the party? You're running around working two jobs and doing all the cooking and all the driving. What does he contribute to the household?

Two large burgers in buns plus chips is disgusting. Send him to bed hungry.

sometimes it’s better to suck it up to avoid the bad mood, which affects everyone.

I really just can't agree with this. I get that it's easier and sometimes it's difficult to summon the energy but in the same way that parenting is hard and sometimes you have to say no, giving in is just a charter to encourage him to sulk

Ugh. So unattractive.

Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom on the thread

Thanks for all of the comments. Think deep down I know all of this hence posting.
we’ve been together for 28 years married for 24. Have 3 grown up children (youngest 16) oldest no longer lives at home.

he’s always been controlling and it’s taken the last couple of years for me to start realising just how much his moods effect my day.

but I’ve enabled this I guess over the years. Feels like it might be too late to change and financially I’m not sure I can do it on my own either.

im Mid 40’s. He’s early 50’s. He definitely couldn’t afford to live on his own.

If he couldn't afford to live on his own, he should have thought of that before he was such an arsehole to you. You can do it OP!

This one's for you!

You sound quick to always jump to the worst case scenario 😉

What he can’t afford won’t be your problem.

You were very young when you got together. He was (is) a fair bit older. Happened to a friend of mine. They were 16 and 24. They fell into a horrible routine straight away even though she was by far much cleverer, nicer and more creative & ambitious. He trapped her with pregnancy and marriage and his miserable controlling personality.

She left after many years, seems happy now. Her DC are fine after the split. Better than fine actually.

Not worried about the dc in fact think ds1 would tell me what took so long.
lots to think about.
thanks everyone.

I guess each to their own - to me, burger bun and chips is double carbing and I get too full.

Surely the real issue is your pathetic sulky husband who seems to think you are a one woman restaurant and he is entitled to sulk like a toddler if you don't run around getting him exactly what he ordered?

Good luck, @UnicornMadeOfPinkGlitter . Two bits of advice going forward, if I may:

Do see a solicitor and gather as much financial info as you can. They’ll help you understand where you stand generally with money and being ‘adequately housed’ (and him), etc, if you separate. I think having lots of information makes for better decisions. No-one else needs to know you’ve had an appointment.

Ignore the incessant posters who will keep coming on your thread having only read your opening post, making ‘hilarious’ or ‘edgy’ comments. Expend your energy on better things.

Btw @UnicornMadeOfPinkGlitter I see you’ve put this in AIBU.

There is a Relationships board here on MN that might be worth starting a thread in.

And there are lots of threads there worth reading from women who’ve been in a position like yours, and are or have been on the journey of bringing a very unfulfilling marriage to a close. Many happy endings, after one final year of (productive) shit.

I'd say she was being controlling towards him from that statement.