Two burgers and chips is too much?

[UnicornMadeOfPinkGlitter]

Just that. Everyone else is having bolognaise but H doesn’t want it. We have some burgers in the fridge so trying to be nice I said he can have burgers.
now he’s sulking because I won’t go to the supermarket to buy burger cheese and some frozen chips! For clarity he doesn’t drive so it would be difficult for him to go but I’ve said why do you want chips when you’ve asked for two burgers.
for clarity it’s two large burgers in buns with salad and was going to put potato salad and coleslaw on the side. But he wants chips!
he’s now saying he doesn’t want anything.

iabu- chips with two burgers is fine
ianbu- two burgers are plenty.

What in hell is burger cheese?

Asked and answered.

Individually wrapped plastic cheese slices.

Why should she?! She’s already cooked one meal

My ex was petty like that saying he wouldn’t eat unless he got exactly what he wanted and I always gave in for an easy life, looking back I should have just let him starve

Thanks purpledaisies; not cheese then?

Ew, sulking about not having chips when there's plenty of other items like curly fries is so unattractive. 2 burgers with salads and sides sounds plenty but that's irrelevant in that if he wants chips he can find a way to get them!

Please can you stop fixating on the food?

The food is not the issue. The overgrown child whose tantrums disrupt the whole household is the problem. Be honest with yourself, if it wasn't the burgers it would be something else. Always testing always pushing your boundaries to see how much he can get away with.

OP, he's totally being unreasonable, as you obviously know, and I sympathcise. If he didn't want bolognaise, he should grateful there's another option or offer to cook himself, and also be grateful he has food.

Is there a health reason he doesn't drive?

Either way, sounds like he's being controlling. If be continues to be miserable for the rest of the evening, I'd like to think you could suggest he comes up with a meal option for tomorrow and cooks it! It could be done in a jokey way, but how would he react?

Exactly this. It sounds like this is one of so many incidents that you DC are watching and learning from.

I wouldn’t put up with it and I would tell him very firmly to grow the hell up and get on board with family life and next time he pulls a stunt like this it’s divorce or he can just feck off now.

It is cheese in a sense. It’s American Cheese. Like the cheese you would find on a McDonald’s burger

This is coercive control and a form of abuse.

Does he cook?

Yes its cheese, tends to be more common in very hot countries where processed cheese is the norm.

Dear Lord, do not facilitate this man-child! If he wants to eat something different he can sort his own food out. My husband would never decide to have something completely separate for tea if I am cooking a family meal. He'd eat what I cooked and be very grateful for it. He may suggest a takeaway from time to time (although less these days as we're watching the pennies) but that isn't because he doesn't want to eat what is on offer, but more because he feels a night off from the kitchen is in order (if I cook, he tidies up and cleans or vice versa).

It's not about the food. It is getting what he wants when he wants it. Showing he is top dog.

Because it’s hot and I’ve already cooked dinner.
because i was in the middle of cooking dinner, ie pasta in the pot, garlic bread in the oven and so I didn’t want to ruin everyone else’s dinner.
because I have 40 miles of fuel in my car until Friday when I get paid.
because I had already cooked a perfectly good dinner

anyway. It’s a quiet evening as he’s sulking and I am going to go and watch tv on my iPad upstairs so I don’t have headphones on making me even sweatier.

my kids are fine by the way. They are older. Ds is always helpful and even offered to go to the shop but H said no! Dd is sat in the lounge with her boyfriend oblivious to it all.

there is no shouting or arguing. It’s all said in calm controlled manner. He’s never raised a hand to me. I would not be here if he had but just lately starting ti think he has worn me down over the years.

I would not make dinner for someone who sulked like that. Tell him to make his own dinner now or have nothing to eat

What he wants to eat isn't really the main problem reading your post, it's the demanding and sulking that is the issue!

This.

If my 8 year old refused the family meal and then refused a second, perfectly good offer, they’d get short shrift from me. A grown adult? He’s behaving like a child, tell him he’s making his own dinner from now on.

There are other potato’s based products in the freezer such as hash browns, waffle fries, curly fries and even sweet potato.

Then he's being a twat. But I think you know that.

it doesn't matter if we think it's too much or not enough etc. He's a grown man who can decide how much he wants to eat.

However, having rejected the dinner made for the family it's up to him to sort out his own alternative.

Is there a medical reason he can't drive?

If you have potatoes could some be potatoe wedges rather than potatoe salad?

There are other potato’s based products in the freezer such as hash browns, waffle fries, curly fries and even sweet potato.

It's not about the chips, it's an attempt to make you dance to his tune. I thought he was just a sulky man child but with your update it's apparent he's an abusive arsehole. If you're planning to stay with him I would practice the word no and use it a lot more.

I would honestly ask yourself if you want the rest of your life to be about managing or navigating the unpredictable moods of another adult.

Why is that the op’s problem to solve? He is a grown up. He can investigate what is in the house. It’s not the op’s responsibility.