DC filming for TV program, problem with the nursery

[Pending653]

NC as its outing if another parent from the nursery sees this.

Last week a popular children's TV show got in touch with my DC's nursery by email and asked whether any of the children would be interested in taking part in an upcoming program as two kids were needed. The email asked for any parents who's children are interested to contact the team on the email given. The nursery manager then forwarded that email to parents asking if anybody was interested.

I asked my (two) DC and they said they would love to, they are 3 and 4 and both enjoy the program. They love the hosts.

I sent an email to the team saying we were interested and we scheduled a zoom meeting to introduce the kids and get a bit of information about filming. We were the first to apply.

I tell the nursery manager we are taking part and have a meeting scheduled, she then tells me she would prefer if I didn't put my DD forward, just DS, as she wants another family to have the chance to participate and she thinks DD would be too shy.

I'm now in an awkward position as both my DC want to do it but I've been made to feel as though I'm stealing the opportunity from another child.

The zoom meeting came and I took the opportunity to ask whether it would be possible for three children to participate and explained the issue, said the nursery told me there's another child who wants to do it so could they include them too, the team said that should be fine. Happy days.

I update the nursery manager to tell her that all is fine and it looks like they'll have 3 kids and not 2, so my DD can still do it.

She then comes back and says no and that she's going to be 'firm' but she doesn't want me to submit DD's details as she has chosen two other children to participate now - not just the one I was aware of who wanted to take part.

I was caught off guard and didn't know what to say so I just said right ok have a chat with the team and come back to me.

I received the consent forms today to fill in and they're asking for both of my children's details.

I explained the issue I was having with the nursery and suggested they have a chat as it was all getting quite confusing, but gave them my DS' details and filled in the forms for him accordingly.

Looking back at the initial email the team explicitly said for any families interested to contact them personally, which I did. There was no indication that the nursery would be choosing the children either from the nursery manager herself or the team!

My poor DD is going to be gutted. I don't know what to do?

Am I being unreasonable?

Thank you for your POV, I wonder what the producer in our case will be thinking.

She (the producer) was CC'd in to the email exchange earlier so she will be privy to what's going on.

The email asked for any parents who's children are interested to contact the team on the email given. The nursery manager then forwarded that email to parents asking if anybody was interested.

You've done as the production company have asked. I can't see anywhere that says you must go through the NM.

I think you're being a bit grabby.

DS got to be on a ceebeebies programme. We had to give initial consent then the production company came to school and "auditioned" all the kids who were interested and they selected the participants.

So you might need to prepare your kids for neither or one being selected.

I've just gone back over the email thread and the team explicitly said "If any parents are interested please pass them on my email to get in touch" which is exactly what I have done. I didn't know I would be first in the line.

Thank you for your input though as I wasn't made aware of a further "screening" so I'll bare that in mind.

AFAIK the screening was the zoom meeting. We'll see what they come back with.

God how petty of the nursery manager! Ignore her!

I'm sure (DB works in TV and a friend used to work in kids TV) - siblings (as well as one extra child) would come over much better than random kids being shoved together.

The producer wants both your kids details . It’s not something that the nursery manager should be controlling even though she may want to have control of which kids represent her nursery .

i might be paranoid but I’d be wondering why the nursery manager didn’t want DD involved and keeping an eye on things . Nursery are paid to look after your child - they aren’t doing you a favour and the fact that they are trying to stop DD taking part would make me uneasy

I suspect the nursery manager has cocked up. Her intention was probably for parents to revert to her and for her to pass the details on - and I suspect that is what some parents have done. But by forwarding the production company email you (and perhaps other parents) have contacted the production company direct. So now she is tying to sort out her communication error.

Your children are 3 and 4. They wont make a fuss unless you do.

If the TV Production co have done this before (and id be surprised if they haven't) they will be familiar with pushy people, whether its nursery managers or parents or whatever.

They know how to get what they want, I wouldn't worry about it any further, they liked your kids, they have the relevant details, leave it to them to decide and stop letting the NM push you about!

Deal with the TV company, not the nursery manager as originally requested.

May e they just don't want children from the same family and want to give other families a look in? Honestly, it's not an Andrew Lloyd Webber audition.

Sounds like the nursery manager is over-stepping. Just ignore. YANBU.

We had something similar my son is disabled and has always gone to a special school ," something special " filmed at his primary school a few years ago ,parents just had to give their permission for the children to be filmed, it was the producers who decided which children would be used.

Having dealt with theatre companies (as a drama class provider) who want children for performances I can safely say that it matters not one bit what the nursery manager wants, the production company will have their criteria and they will choose. For all the nursery manager knows they production company might have contacted several nurseries and will make their choice from that.

Siblings make like a lot easier. Instant rapport with each other, one parent filling in licensing forms, 1 parent only needed to chaperone etc etc

My dc have done a couple of these. Firstly they'll probably look at all the children who are interested and decide from that. It's in their interest to find the children (and parents) they can work best with.
Mine have been accepted and refused from the screening (and they do always ask for the consent form ime, because they don't want to decide on a child and then find they don't get consent).
Both accepting and rejecting they've sounded very positive about the child, and them being used. I couldn't have told from the response which way it would go.
There's a good chance your dc's nursery isn't the only one asked too, they're likely to have cast the net out wider.

They may want a sibling pair, or they may definitely not.

I would sit back, forget about it and see if they contact you. If they contact you then great, if they don't, don't worry. It's not a rejection of your dc, simply they weren't what they wanted at the time.

My dc have always had a great time doing that sort of thing. The companies go out of their way to make it fun for the children. But I always tend to play it down until they are actually on the set, because things (even BBC things!) can get cancelled up to the last minute!

It does not matter what the nursery want. What matters is what the company want.
And potentially appearing on TV is a very BIG DEAL to young children.

It’s up the production team to pick the children. The Nursery manager is being a cheeky bitch “I’m going to be firm” who the fuck does she think she is?

Actually having siblings is better all round in my opinion, other children are far less likely to know that another child in nursery has stared on TV via the nursery but a sibling seeing their brother / sister getting all the attention is far worse IMO. I'd rather either both or neither of mine were included.

How do you usually get on with this manager?

It is a bit selfish other kids should get a chance too, your 3 year old won't remember ffs

None of the others will then either, surely?
Why is anyone else's child more important just because OP has two?

As if your 3 year old will be “really disappointed”.

and I think the nursery manager sounds like a good one. Fair and doesn’t bend to parents

The NM can bugger off - its up to the production team. NM should have asked parents to submit interest to her first rather than the producers directly if she wanted any say. This is her cock up.

If the other parents haven’t put their kids forwards it’s their loss. It’s not up to OP to worry about anyone else’s kids but her own.

May e they just don't want children from the same family and want to give other families a look in? Honestly, it's not an Andrew Lloyd Webber audition.

By that logic who cares if no one else gets a look in.

Jeez I don't expect OPs kids have the slightest clue who ALW is. But they love this TV program.

Some people will always try and make you feel small.