To be terrified that my 4yr old dd is starting school in September

[scorpiogirly]

Is it just me? The thought of sending her to school in September makes me feel sick. No parent should be terrified of their children starting school.

I'm speaking of the new RSE curriculum. Parents no longer have a right to opt out. Parents do not have the right to demand to see what their children are being taught. Dangerous ideology will embedded into every lesson.

5000 parents are taking the Welsh Government to court and the case has been accepted.

Schools seem to be following a script when met with questions about the new RSE. Safeguarding, age appropriate. Who decides what is age appropriate for our children?

I do talk to her and tell her that she can like 'boys' things. That boys can like pink and girls can like blue She loves dinosaurs and her toy hammer.

It's the stuff a pp mentioned. Being socially transed at school which is kept secret from parents etc.

RSE is statutory, which means schools must provide it.

It's not mandatory on pupils to attend the lessons. Parents can decline permission.

You'd be very foolish to do so from a position of your own ignorance and lack of education about RSE, (which is very notable in your post). Your child deserves better.

Teacher here. The new RSE curriculum is based around the premise that relationships form the basis of sex education. It is compulsory but it's relationships education rather than sex. Things to help children such as knowing the correct names for body parts, boundaries, pants rule, knowing who are safe people in their lives, friendships, keeping healthy, understanding our emotions, puberty, body changes, hormones
etc. Yes they'll learn that not all families are a mum and a dad (you've said yourself that you're a single parent) but I think that's vital so that children learn about diversity early on and all children from all backgrounds feel valued. Quite right that it's a compulsory subject. No one is trying to indoctrinate anyone! More that we're striving to educate youngsters so they're equipped with the modern world.
Ask to see the PSHE curriculum which RSE is normally included under. Go in with an open mind.
There's nothing to fear and quite honestly you're coming across as rather irrational.

It's not all about you though. Your daughter will, like the majority of children that age, love school and enjoy making friends and have a great time. Like other people have said you'll be able to find out what is being taught and give her your opinion.

I'm sorry, what does that mean?

England/Scotland are two separate systems and education is devolved. So Scottish education system is very different from England's.

Children learn a hell of a lot worse from their peers on the school playground. Knowledge on things such as 'furries' and other kinks won't have come from the teachers - it will be their peers, pornbub, YouTube and tiktok once they are secondary school age (or even year 6 in some cases). At the age of 4 they are not going to be taught anything about trans - it will be body parts, privacy and consent and different types of families. There is nothing sinister in that.

Then there is the fact that trans people do exist, denying their existence doesn't make them any less real. You may nldrenot agree that a trans nan is a man (and vise versa) but it doesn't change the fact that there are people living and presenting themselves as that gender. I think it is important that we teach children empathy and tolerance towards people who may be different to what you are used too. You don't have to agree with someone's lifestyle but it doesn't hurt to know about it.

I agree. Opinions are fine. But to be taught people can change sex and that sex is a spectrum is factuality incorrect. I don't want her learning anything nit based in reality.

I worry about the impact of things my daughter hears at school but more so from her peers. We always try to have open dialogue so she feels comfortable to share and question things. I figure building a good foundation now will help in the awkward years ahead! I always say to her do what makes you happy, stay true to yourself. As children do she questions everything outside her ‘norm’ of what she’s grown up with in her immediate family. From boys with piercings, girls with short hair to someone with a prosthetic leg. Kids are inquisitive and that’s how they learn. I explain at a level appropriate but the bottom line she knows is that people are free to do/be what they want to be as long as their actions are not hurting anyone else.

Your DD is four? And you're 'terrified' about this? This is absolutely tragic. You sound absolutely unhinged.

When you say in the middle, what do you mean?

@scorpiogirly it means that I want to keep women only spaces and that the focus should be on creating third spaces. It means that I do not believe all transwomen are just men looking to predate on women and replace them. It means that I think telling a teenager that they are not what they feel they are in that moment is unhelpful, likely to alienate them and likely to entrench their position. It means respecting someone's chosen name and pronouns even if I don't agree because to do otherwise is rude. It also means that I think telling a child they are trans when they behave in a gender nonconforming way is bollocks - we should be telling our children that whatever they were born, there isn't one right way to be but many. It means that I'm not going to listen to the TRAs any more than I am to the extremists on the other side.

OP it’s okay to take a step back from the internet and focus on what’s going on in real life.

Find out what your daughters school will actually teach, raise anything that is incorrect, and plan what to say at home. Even stuff that isn’t taught at school she will hear from others in the playground etc.

If you are genuinely, genuinely terrified and not just exaggerating (which I imagine you are) then you really do need to take a step back from the internet for your own sake at least

Do you know what they use scorpio ?

It should say on the website. Fir example there's jigsaw, educate and Christopher winter etc

If you can find out then do a search on here and there's many a breakdown/over view which should answer many of your questions.

Taken from gov.wales:

RSE will be a mandatory requirement in the Curriculum for Wales for all learners from age 3 to 16 ("the Act"). This means that all learners must receive this education. There is no right to withdraw from RSE in the new curriculum.

I think it is you who needs to do their research instead of throwing insults.

This is absolutely bonkers. No one at primary school is "socially trans-ing" reception kids and hiding it from the parents. My friend's five year old can't reliably use he and she as it is! This is what happens when people who are - as you admit, highly anxious by nature - consume a never-ending stream of deliberately outrageous stories and commentary about these sorts of issues.

I bet you think your four year old will start school and the second week in, the school will secretly get an adult-oriented drag queen in to supposedly do drag queen story time but actually they'll be wearing a costume bedecked with sex toys and they'll be telling all the kids they are born in the wrong bodies. And if your daughter so much as glances at a toy car in the classroom, the TAs will be suggesting to her she's actually a boy and what boy name would she like to be called in school.

This doesn't happen. But if you're starting from a point of asking the head what the kids are taught and your instant response is "I don't trust a word she's saying" - how can you go through your child's school career like that? Assuming the very worst, not trusting the people in charge of your daughter for five days a week, believing they have ulterior motives to everything.

Admittedly this was years ago and was the start of RSE but I found it to be really good. We were invited to a meeting to see if there were any concerns. Everything was age appropriate and inclusive. I much preferred it to the way when I was at school we had one hour with the deputy head that only spoke about periods to the girls (which was far too late for most of us).

I had already started age appropriate conversations with my DS before he was 4 so he understood things in general terms.

If you really do not want your child to have these lessons then you will have to home school.

Send them to a catholic school.

Yep, that's a sure-fire way to avoid indocrination or being taught things that aren't based in reality.

It's not quite your point OP, but I think it's absolute madness to make kids go to school at the age of 4.

The priority is to get kids institutionalised and get parents back to work in a short a time as possible.

Sorry if I've missed it upthread, but is home ed an option for the early years?

I am increasingly gender critical and am very glad the tide seems to be turning on this issue with sports rulings, Forstater etc. But you seem way way WAY over the top.

Even taking your highly unlikely worst case scenario: what would 'socially transed' even mean for a 4yo? It's just playing pretend, which they do all the time. They come home to you every day, and you carry on treating them as you always have and inculcating her with your values (which by the way is not the same thing as insisting they believe what you do).

My kid comes home from school all the time with a bunch of religious nonsense (well what I would term nonsense, though not in her hearing of course) - it's a mainstream multicultural school so she's as likely to want to talk about ramadan as Jesus, but kids are taken by stories. I then talk to her about these things and explain about 'some people believe x, mummy believes y, what do you think about it' and we talk it through. If you're doing all that, with a primary school child, you're fine. You will be her greatest influence for some years yet. Her teachers aren't out to turn her trans, you must realise that or if you don't then you really do need to calm down.

Where I'm worried is the teen years, the social contagion and the to be fair perfectly legitimate feeling that is obviously arising amongst a large number of teen girls, that the only way to get out from under the horrible, sexist, misogynistic culture we still have is to opt out of womanhood altogether and become non-binary or trans. Your influence will be on the wane then, her friends will be more important. But a primary school child will still be very much looking to you and not her teachers or school friends for guidance (if you're doing your job even half right, which given how invested in her you clearly are I'm sure you are doing).

I agree with most of what you say. A third space should be created for trans people. Unfortunately they're not campaigning for this. They are campaigning to move into women's spaces which is unacceptable to me.

A name is just a name so I'd refer to anyone by their chosen name. Where I disagree with you is that I refuse to use pronouns. I don't believe in it and I won't be compelled to go against my beliefs.

But RSE is still compulsory in catholic schools? I’ve been teaching it for the past two years.

TrashPandas · Today 12:18
Viviennemary · Today 12:17
Send them to a catholic school.
Yep, that's a sure-fire way to avoid indocrination or being taught things that aren't based in reality.

This. what batshit advice. I mean if you can send your kids to a religious school and tell them that actually no darling, you weren't born inherently sinful and no, uncle Jim isn't going to burn in hell because he loves Uncle Peter, whatever teacher says - why can't you just do the same thing with any gender ideology they may pick up at school?

When looking into schools I also thought it was very young. I thought the minimum age was 5. I'm sure it was when I starred school although I could be wrong.

Home education would be difficult as a single parent as I need to work. I like the idea of flexi learning though which someone has mentioned so this is something I'll look into. I also want her to experience the social aspect of school rather than be isolated at home.