To be terrified that my 4yr old dd is starting school in September

[scorpiogirly]

Is it just me? The thought of sending her to school in September makes me feel sick. No parent should be terrified of their children starting school.

I'm speaking of the new RSE curriculum. Parents no longer have a right to opt out. Parents do not have the right to demand to see what their children are being taught. Dangerous ideology will embedded into every lesson.

5000 parents are taking the Welsh Government to court and the case has been accepted.

Schools seem to be following a script when met with questions about the new RSE. Safeguarding, age appropriate. Who decides what is age appropriate for our children?

I was called a groupie and embarrassing. I align myself with people who put women's rights at the forefront. You obviously don't.

I think you're worrying unnecessarily OP.
Kids that age will hear all sorts of stuff from teachers and other pupils, but ultimately it'll be parents they believe.

My kids went to the local village primary, which is a standard CofE church school. There was a fair amount of religion involved, but because I'm not religious (would probably describe myself as agnostic, but really we just don't discuss religion at all at home), both of my kids left the school not believing in God, despite 7 years of prayers!

At primary school age, parents pretty much control what kids believe. Just talk at home, and they pick it up.

It's when they go to secondary and get phones and tiktok, then you've really got your work cut out!

Allsorts guidence

Ok this is confusing. Education is devolved so Wales, Scotland and England are doing different things, the welsh curriculum for example is a huge innovation with a big focus on wellbeing, arts and language as well as science and maths. What is and isn;t mandatory is also different. Maybe if you let us know what country you are actually in we can give better advice? I assumed Wales from your reference to suing and those parents are idiots - four years olds can be abused so their teachers absolutely should be teaching them privates are privates and nobody is allowed to touch them except to clean them and with permission.

Based on what Ive heard is currently being taught (and even promoted!) in schools, not a chance would I send any child of mine to school now.

The new RSE is coming this year in September in Wales. It is on the gov website that it is mandatory.

@scorpiogirly not at all, I just trust myself to be able to discuss these issues openly with my DC (who are adults now). I hate the way the trans debate goes on MN, everyone is at the extremes and no-one is in the middle.

Could you possibly home educate? Or consider flexischooling? That would mean you could ensure your child doesn’t attend on the days RSE is taught?

I was called a groupie and embarrassing. I align myself with people who put women's rights at the forefront. You obviously don't.

You honestly think Graham Linehan really cares about women's rights? Jesus.

Yes I am in Wales. It was asked at the parents evening we had at her new school about the RSE education. The head advised that they will be taught age appropriate material. And will be taught 4 words, vagina, breasts, penis and anus for safeguarding reasons. I am completely find with this. But sadly, I don't believe a word she said.

Firstly stop believing everything you see on SM and talk to the school. I can assure that the curriculum is actually very limited in primary schools, for EYFS it is the naming of parts and the reason for that is safeguarding so if something ever does happen they can tell with clarity what was touched ie not their winkle, thingy or dick.

Next, they will cover reproduction in juniors as part of the science curriculum and that was always the case. In PHSE they will be taught that there are different kinds of families, mummies and daddies, just mummies or daddies and combinations of that and the most important thing to know is that parents and carers love them.

Most schools organise sessions so that you know what your children will be taught and when. Frankly, I would think that you would rather they were taught about it properly than get skewed info from a conversation in the playground. You might want to remember that the Samaritans was set up because a 13 yr old girl started her periods and did not know what they were because no one had told her, she thought she had a disease and would bring disgrace to her family so she killed herself... that is why we have SexEd.

When you say in the middle, what do you mean?

Do you plan to do any parenting yourself, OP, or just leave it up to the school?

Yes it is and primary RSE is developing empathy and kindness, promoting awareness of different types of families and that individuals are unique, learning living things change as they grow, personal hygiene and looking after yourself, correct words for body parts , who to ask for help, right to privacy and to consent, sharing and personal space - so which bit scare you?

May I ask why you don't trust the head? Does she have any reason to lie to you?

Children always learn some things away from their parents that their parents might not approve of. Whether that is its fine for a child to have two mummies, Santa does not exist, or that some people think God does not exist, it has always happened.
You can not control everything your child sees or hears or is taught and it is unhealthy to do so. The biggest influence on children is their parents.

If it’s something that has already been passed in the UK then you can still withdraw from lessons. For example our primary school lets us know if they’re watching a movie that parents might not agree with as well as sex education lessons etc. we’re fully entitled to let them know if we don’t want our child participating.

Religion is more difficult as although our primary school is meant to be secular they still teach more Christianity than any other religion but when my older ones got to high school, they made up their own minds as it’s much more diverse than primary.

I think the transgender thing is different depending on schools. But unfortunately the only way of being 100% sure you are happy with what is being taught is to home educate and even that is being restricted by some LA’s now and is set to be worse if the new bill gets approved.

I too am as GC as they come and I can really see why you are scared!

However, I think you need to take a step back and breathe calmly. I believe the sunlight beginning to break through this TWAW nonsense, and as long as you're open and honest with your DD then you'll be fine.

I assume you bring to your daughter's attention, stuff like when in a clothes shop that pink is for girls or dinosaurs are for boys? "Oh look isn't it silly they have dinosaurs on the boys' clothes but not the girls', because both girls and boys can wear pink/dinosaurs"

Does she have toy tools such as drills etc to "fix" things? I think if she is gently taught that gender stereotypes are "silly", she'll be able to discuss anything she hears at school that contradicts this. For example, paul likes Princesses he must be a girl.

What actually made you afraid after speaking the the head teacher?

Um, why don't you believe her?

If you honestly believe that the head teacher is lying to you (which they have no reason to do) the you really should do the school a favour and withdraw your child. Send them somewhere else or homeschool them. The school absolutely don't need that, and you shouldn't be leaving your child with people you don't trust.

You are being unreasonable in your anxiety, but it's not the school's job to fix that.

OP I understand your concerns (also gender critical) but I think terrified is an overdramatic word to use. Most primary schools will send out details of what is going to be taught, especially if you ask. You mention Cambridge. Is there a specific school that you think is problematic in this respect? I think the key is to keep on talking about things with your child. I appreciate at age 4 it's difficult, but at secondary at least it's not impossible to discuss what goes on at school and provide some context/alternative viewpoints.

Well, I didn't mean do nothing at all - as a parent you can be proactive here, talk to the school. Ask (nicely, not confrontationally) what they'll be covering in RSE, and if you don't trust the head's description ask for the actual curriculum outline and any materials they might be using. At the age of 4 I would expect it to be very simple and high level anyway. If you see anything worrying then you can take it up with the school in advance, if you hear anything worrying after the fact take it up with the school.

Even better would be to see if you can work with the school if needed, be on a parent focus group, whatever might be helpful.

Remember that we don't want to shut down debate and factual info! The more sunlight, facts, discussion, critical thinking, the better. Be proactive and constructive, not terrified and reactive!

I do agree with you that it's rife in colleges and universities but by my count you have 14+ years to instil your family's values in your DC before they get that far. At the age of 4, I think you'll be ok for a while yet.

They are hardly likely to teach that, either in reception or in later years. What makes you think that changing sex is any part of the curriculum?

In reception your daughter will spend a lot of time playing, she may start phonics and do lots of drawing and painting, listening to stories. (Normal stories, not about changing sex).

You seem to be agitated and thinking that as soon as the school get their hands on your daughter they are going to brainwash her.

You're massively overthinking all this.

OP if you “don’t believe a word” the head teacher said, why is your child going to that school?? If you don’t trust them then how can you possibly expect them to take you seriously and why would you allow people you don’t trust to educate your child?!

become a governor is my advice