To be terrified that my 4yr old dd is starting school in September

[scorpiogirly]

Is it just me? The thought of sending her to school in September makes me feel sick. No parent should be terrified of their children starting school.

I'm speaking of the new RSE curriculum. Parents no longer have a right to opt out. Parents do not have the right to demand to see what their children are being taught. Dangerous ideology will embedded into every lesson.

5000 parents are taking the Welsh Government to court and the case has been accepted.

Schools seem to be following a script when met with questions about the new RSE. Safeguarding, age appropriate. Who decides what is age appropriate for our children?

Yes I use pronouns all the time. The thing about pronouns is that they're mainly used when referring to a person in their absence.

I won't use any pronoun. I will just use their name if and when required to do so. It is just as rude to me to be expected to go along with gender ideolgy when i don't believe in it as it is to be misgendered.

But you literally just claimed to have no problem with transitioning. From what I read your concerns were about women’s spaces and young children being convinced they are transgender when they’re not. If you accept people do transition why would you then misgender them or only use their name in protest of using their correct pronoun?

Obviously your child won't be taught to be transphobic even if you follow those beliefs. You can either let her be educated properly and make her own opinion of the subject or you can withdraw her from those lessons and let her learn from untrustworthy and biased sources instead.

You must be joking.

What makes you think schools talk about sexual pleasure at primary age? Or are you worried your DD might hear the word organ at age 10/11? There's nothing wrong at that age with mentioning that sex is pleasurable alongside the stuff about periods, pregnancy etc. Are you very religious and feel that sex should be for procreation on? Nobody in primary is going to learn about the details of the orgasm, that is secondary school stuff.

What beliefs?

The thing is that might sound shocking when your child is 4 but as DS has entered yr5/6 I’ve found it’s quite difficult to start talking about inappropriate things to look at on the computer, not sending naked pictures, legal age to have sex etc whilst pretending that sex is just for having babies when married. I also believe it’s important to start talking about the above issues when they start asking questions etc. it’s no good leaving these talks until they’ve entered puberty when it might be too late.

FWIW I do use exactly the same mix of lighthearted silliness and straight but lightly delivered facts when talking about any Christian ideas picked up from the school. Belief systems both.

My daughter is about to finish year 6 and move to secondary school. They have NOT learnt about sexual pleasure. Only about 2 weeks ago (so right at the end of her time at primary school) they learnt about conception. That's the first time they learnt about the sexual act. I think this is entirely appropriate for a group of 11 year olds who have mostly started puberty. I remember learning about sex in year 6 too.

You need to get a grip and do some proper research.

It's as simple as people can claim or believe they are what they want. I really don't care.

But I won't conform to an ideology I don't believe in which includes the use of pronouns. I don't want people with a penis in female only spaces. And I won't accept the narrative that sex is a spectrum. I believe everyone is non-binary or gender non-conforming.

How is acknowledging their existence ‘pushing it on to children’?

Kids should not be gaslight about sex. No forced to he props in the validation of others.. one child's identity is not the responsibility of anyone else. Many kids with special needs will find it impossible le to lie about what they see with their own eyes.

Yes I agree with this. I was concerned about that my Year One child would be taught. I checked and it's basic internet safety, 'pants are private' stuff, you shouldn't take pictures of your body and you should tell a grown up if anyone asks you to, the differences between secrets and surprises (secrets =bad, make you feel bad,sad, anxious, scared etc surprises = nice, things that make you feel happy like a party etc). All very sensible stuff.

Well let's ask him shall we?

@Glinner

@pointythings I agree with you 100%, I think it's a "middle ground" but unfortunately our "middle ground" makes us both transphobic according to many. As it makes some of my friends who are trans themselves!

Anyway back to you OP - you have acknowledged up thread that you have anxiety, and I think that reading the likes of Glinner and Posie will not help at all - they are campaigners and will discuss only the rarest and most extreme cases for a reason, and your anxiety will take that and run with it far beyond what is likely to happen to your DD at school in September.

Focus on what you can, which is your kids' actual school and what they're going to be doing. If you can't find what you're after on the school website, send a polite message to the school along these lines once term starts: "Dear teacher, I hope you are well and pleased to say DD is settling in well and loves coming to school. I'd like to confirm what will be taught this year in RSE so that I can support my child at home, do you have a summary of what will be covered please? And if you use any outside materials or service providers? Thank you so much for taking care of my darling child all day, Yours sincerely, OP"

@scorpiogirly my grandchildren tell me things that are said at school that I don't agree with. I put my point of view across and tell them what I think. Parents do the same thing. But they haven't been told that people can change sex. Send her to school and let her enjoy herself.

You clearly haven't read the thread.

Just to say I agree with you over this BUT I also think you must dial-down your anxiety so that your child does not pick it up.

You can be proactive in getting involved with the school. You can start a parents' group which keeps an eye on anything dodgy being caught. Maybe join the board of governors or whatever else they have similar to that.

You could write a formal letter to the head, stating that you don't want your child taught unscientific gender woo-woo nonsense.

I have so many questions on this...

Why does GC mean?

Why would you think school would be teaching your 4 year old about being transgender and having a sex change operation?!

What actually happens if you are raising a child that has questions about their own gender and needs to be supported on a path to learn more?

I like the idea of flexi learning though which someone has mentioned so this is something I'll look into. I also want her to experience the social aspect of school rather than be isolated at home

Just to pick up on this point OP, early years learning is a lovely journey to do with your kids - I've done it with 3 so far.

Depending on where you live, many towns/cities have a thriving home ed scene. My DC have a big bunch of friends that they see every day and revise together etc. (they're doing GCSE's now).

Where we are, there's around 15 - 20 groups every week to choose from, so no child ever needs to be isolated doing home ed. Maybe check out local FB groups to see what's around you.

Good luck whatever you decide.

My DDs school in England still allow us to withdraw from RSE and this is a CofE school. They also have copies of the curriculum overview for each year group on their website.

My DD loves RSE, they do lots of fun crafts and learn about different cultures and religions, I'd look into exactly whats being taught and how before withdrawing. I trust my DDs school to do it right.

@scorpiogirly I'm gender critical and so far nothing has been taught about changing sex. My eldest (13) knows this isn't possible because I've taught him that. There are people in his school who say 'non binary' but the school just call them by name.

My youngest starts Yr 1 in September and has no idea what anything is 😂

Right?!?

Bonkers

My seven year old has just learned about privacy and some body parts. Nothing scary. Although him explaining to his 3 year old cousin that ANUS was THE HOLE and NOT THE WHOLE BUM was arguably a bit tense. He really looked like he was going to give a practical demonstration before I stopped him.