to think this reply was rude?

[Heytheredeliah]

I messaged a guy a while ago on a dating app. I said 'Hi. how are you? :)'. He responded 'good u'. I unmatched him. Some people thought I was harsh for unlatching him, but I found his reply low effort and rude.

AIBU to think that reply was rude?

Can't get over the rudeness on here 🙈

No, I would suggest you exercised good judgement in this case

Well yes of course you do. You can unmatch everyone. I don't think he was any ruder than you though.

Omg! That happened to me! Truth or dare? I said truth - he said his willy size was a certain size - do you want to see a picture? I said no. He sent it anyway. I reminded him of the laws against this upon reciept of his penis picture and he then told me 'I made him feel threatened by my language'. Get the violins out. Reported.

🤣

Eh, I wouldn't say his reply was "rude", but maybe just a bit lazy. I'm not fond of "u" for "you", personally. I probably wouldn't delete someone just on the basis of that, but you found it annoying, so fair enough. I doubt he lost any sleep over it, and in any event, it's unlikely he was your soulmate. No real harm done. Not worth wasting more thought on, in my view.

Genuine question….why are you raising this now when it happened last year?

I was chatting to a friend about it and she said that he messaged me that because he probably looked at my profile and decided I was not worth any effort. Some other friends overheard and said I was harsh to unmatch him and some said I did the right thing. I wanted to hear what other people thought about it.

It’s a rushed response but fine if all you said was, ‘hi, how are you?’

But honestly regardless of whether his response was a bit rude or whether you blocking him was a bit rude it’s honestly not enough of an issue to warrant making a whole thread about it a whole year later!

This perfectly illustrates why OLD is such a load of crock. It requires emotional energy that just isn't realistic. Nobody wants to be crafting witty, well thought out opening messages to strangers who probably won't ever reply. It's really hard to even create such a message when most people's profiles are so basic and dull, with nothing to go off. Better to go out and talk to people in real life.

Christ, what is it with these OLD men and truth or dare? The truth or dare questions started normal but then he started asking things like 'how many men have you been with?', 'are you shaved?', and 'which porn do you watch?'. Even when I said I would not answer questions like that, he kept asking more. Just awful.

So you put minimal effort in and expected a sonnet back?

I’ve never done OLD but it sounds like a fucking nightmare

Going by your posting history I think you over think things.

It’s very difficult to know what someone is like over message, especially in the f

in the first few messages.

Maybe say you’re going to exchange 3 messages with each person before deciding whether to block or not.

You seem to have decided there is no possible way you are being unreasonable by unmatching with the 1st guy, so the whole thread is a little pointless.

However no one is going to think your unreasonable for unmatching with the second guy.

Oh and when I asked another guy if he would like to meet for pizza, he replied 'yeah I guess we could'. Unmatched. I bet everyone will think I am rude for that too.

This sounds fair enough he sounds very unenthusiastic.

Well I have concluded that if I ever dare to try OLD again (which I won't because it is a crock of shit and most of the men are dire on dating apps), then I should not say 'hi,how are you?'

Another guy asked me to go for a cycle ride with him in the countryside so he could murder me and told me about how masturbation had got him through lockdown. When I told him I didn't want to hear about him doing that during lockdown, he unmatched me!

well if he doesn't meet your required standard of grammar, why worry?

@Heytheredeliah some men have no filters sadly. I’m sure there are men sat feeling like us..I guess you have to get lucky

The real question is, why do you care? You gave a bog standard opener which he's likely heard a hundred times and he wasn't interested, probably thought replying would be polite.

Stop setting higher standards for others than you do for yourself.

YANBU to unmatch for anything you don't like - I have some vastly stringent grammatical requirements and love text based apps because I have to weed out people who have even the slightest hint of not being right for me verbally...

The thing is you're sort of inviting us all to say that his text speech style makes him uncouth and rude and that scornfully dismissing someone who doesn't use complete sentences is fine. And the tone of disdain is a bit (good) U?

I wouldn’t say rude but he just sounds bored. No thanks.

You're the one saying people are rude if they don't give you the response you want. They're not interested and you're not interested either so I don't get the issue.

I did not say pizza guy was rude. He just didn't seem over keen so he got unmatched.