Going on holiday with in-laws sounds like hell on earth

[WilsonMilson]

Inspired by some threads I’ve read recently, I’m struck by how many people seem to take holidays with extended family, parents, in-laws, siblings and their families.

This is my idea of absolute hell.

I could just about stretch to going with my parents for a short break, but even then I’d rather not. There is no way I would entertain going abroad with my in-laws or siblings / in law siblings and their kids to a villa. Absolutely no way.

Now that I think of it, this goes for house guests too. We had my aunt and uncle to stay for a few days recently, I love them to bits but couldn’t wait for them to go so I could get my space back and my house clean and tidy again and not have to be constant hostess catering to every whim.

Is it just me? Am I just an anti social old fun sucker for enjoying DH and DS company. I love seeing family and friends, but the last thing I want is to be on holiday with them or having enforced extended inescapable contact.

Madness is just a turn of phrase.

Thanks for this comment it actually made me realise that I'm being unreasonable with a lot of things I refuse to do with my in-laws yet would like to do with my son in his future

Thanks

Surely people only go on holiday with their in-laws for the free childcare? As otherwise, it would just be madness!

Ha! Admittedly my family are the type to do everything together (we all like doing the same kind of things and there's just me that is married with DC so it's our family holiday plus single Granny and Aunty). My lovely MIL does always offers to babysit whenever she visits but I can't imagine BIL or SIL even considering it.

Surely people only go on holiday with their in-laws for the free childcare? As otherwise, it would just be madness!

you’re being very silly.

Or you go on holiday with your inlaws because you enjoy their company and they won't be around for ever

I went on a cruise with my outlaws, trapped on a boat!
They're lovely people but they tended to treat us like children, organising meal times etc.
We had a cabin with a balcony and they had an inside cabin, no window, so they took one of our key cards and used our balcony anytime they wanted.
We had no privacy, they just walked in, had a poo in our bathroom and didn't spray 🙄
Final straw was they insisted on picking up our drinks tab and everytime we ordered a drink they looked at each other, we said we'd pay our own bill but they wouldn't have it, it was a dry cruise from that point.
Plus when we go anywhere with them at home they want us to go in their car, squashed in the back, once we travelled 5 hrs in the back of the car, we've put our foot down on that.
Lovely people but I'll never go on holiday with them again

Going on holiday with the in laws in September. Really looking forward to it, but I do get on ridiculously well with them and I love how they are with my son- never stick their noses in, let me raise him my way etc.

Would be different going with my own family…

Also, find it amusing how everyone is saying their family is so laid back and so it works. My family are all the opposite of laid back but because we're all the same it does work. There's lots of research before we go, everyone has a 'I really want to do that' thing but overall we have very similar lists so the day trips are all discussed and roughly planned out and prebooked if need be. It works for us.

Can't imagine anything worse than going on holiday with a bunch of people who don't want to do anything but lie on a beach and I am not keen on staying in hotels either (that's having 3DC though).

I go to keep the peace.
DD is a sociable kid who loves them they aren't that bad. I wouldn't really like to go with MIL again as she seems quite ungrateful for a free holiday and moans a lot.
Although it would be worse going with my family tbh. I had years of boring UK walking holidays with my dad's cooking when I was a child so you could say my expectations of a holiday are low 😂

I don't think YABU but it depends on the context. I know people who go to a caravan in the the same place every half term with their ILs, which would make me want to stick pins in my eyes.

No. I can just about put up with Christmas Day with the ILs when all on best behaviour but any longer, no way. I think I could have coped with my own parents, maybe, but never got the chance. But we would have liked similar things and I would have enjoyed the conversation. And these would have had to have been city break type holidays.

I had to go away with MIL, SIL and BIL.
SIL didn’t want us there. BIL acted like a dick all weekend. Was furious if you didn’t act like you were having the greatest time every single second (including tiny baby he kept waking up).
MIL moaned and moaned and moaned. Wouldn’t go out.
BIL booked it without asking and then told us we had to go. It was bad time for us and awkward and not somewhere we wanted to go.

neighbour goes with her son and SIL on holiday every year. They treat her like a nanny. She has the kids from dawn and cooks and tidies. Doesn’t do anything she wants, finds it exhausting. No better when her SILs parents join them. She told me one year she wouldn’t go again but I suspect she’s not been given the choice.

I'd never go on holiday with anyone else. DH and I love each other's company, having to meet others for dinner etc wouldn't be enjoyable. Each to their own.

Just got back from the 5th villa holiday in 8 years with our inlaws. We are blessed with lovely in-laws though and its always a success which is why we keep doing it. Our DC get bored with just me and DH I think! I couldn't holiday with many people though so YANBU

I think you’re thinking of a different meaning of “laid back”. It doesn’t have to mean lying on a beach all day, it might mean they are flexible and accommodating

I went with my parents a couple of times with my DS too. It was awful. Mum is hard work so it was constant criticism. I told them to be more positive about me. They're talking about going again and I'll go because ds wants to but I won't be staying the full duration 2 nights max for me.

I could probably handle a weeks holiday with PIL although they live on a different clock to us so it's been a bit disjointed when we've had weekends away.
I don't think DH would ever agree to it though and PIL would only come if his siblings and their respective families came too which I'd be less keen on.

We've been with my parents for a week. I think DH struggled towards the end and my Mum made a comment alluding to DH and I having sex which will likely haunt me to my grave and beyond.
Other than that it was a good week!

YANBU for yourself, but not always the case.

DH has very happily stayed in my parents' house in my mum's home country for a holiday, but then he really gets on with them and they're very laid back.

I've even been on holiday a few times sort of with my ILs, who are quite difficult, to their home country, but not staying in the same accommodation or doing anything together.

They’re all dead now, but I had some lovely holidays with my PILs and/or DH’s eccentric old aunt!
Aunt was a fluent French speaker, raised bilingual, so was a great asset on a 2 week holiday in the Dordogne when I was widowed with two young children. She and the PILs also came with us to Orkney and were v interesting on family history, including visiting the church built by their ancestor.
We stayed at the PILs lovely old house inside a national park for cheap holidays and to see family when the kids were babies too.
I think it’s crucial that you get on well with any relatives with whom you contemplate a holiday - they aren’t suddenly going to be jolly company if they normally get on your wick at home! And it’s usually a mistake to take a grumpy granny in order to abuse her as a babysitter. But many families enjoy multi generation holidays with varying degrees of togetherness. As a widow, I found DH’s relatives a godsend for adult company while away with young kids.

Love my family and my in laws - but I'd not want to go on holiday with them. Preferred my own family holiday when kids were younger and now holiday with DH and also with friends.

depends massively on your family dynamics

not at all unreasonable anyone wouldn’t want to

also some people get on great on with their families which is also normal

open your minds

I think you’re thinking of a different meaning of “laid back”. It doesn’t have to mean lying on a beach all day, it might mean they are flexible and accommodating

Nope, none of my family are flexible or accomodating 😁. They're all rigid and opinionated. We do all like the same kind of holidays though.

Yes I understood that about your family, and that’s great. What I was pointing out was that “laid back” doesn’t just mean wanting to lie on a beach all day necessarily

Bit alien to me, my siblings and I going on hol for my belated 60th, of course we will share cooking and stuff, we ( 7 of us, and nieces/ nephews all adults), will choose our own time, play games and enjoy each other’s company!

We have strict rules. Always our own accommodation. 1 week max. We don't always eat together on an evening.

DH's IL's are much nicer than mine, so we only go away with his.

It's my idea of hell. I wouldn't even want to go with my own family let alone someone else's.
I did end up getting roped into going on holiday with an ex-boyfriend's parents and sister/bil. It was utter hell and I was looking at flights home within a couple of days of getting there. It was 2 weeks as well, so felt like torture while we were in a shitty hotel in a shitty area and they were constantly drinking.