AIBU to not invite “Randy Mandy”

[Jusrollinstones]

AIBU to not invite to a BBQ a woman who is chasing my DH?

I’m organising a BBQ at my house for my walking group. A few months ago at the pub, one of the women got drunk and threw herself at my DH. I wasn’t there but DH told me immediately, and friends who saw it also told me. Since then she has tried to flirt with him at every opportunity. She has messaged him and he showed me the message and that he has blocked her. She has also bad mouthed our marriage, saying to a few friends that DH has confided in her that he’s not happy at home and she thinks she is in with a chance with him. Friends have said she makes a habit of this with married men and call her something similar to “Randy Mandy”.

I don’t want to exclude one person in the group from the BBQ, but I really dislike this woman. AIBU to not invite her? DH wont be there.

She's trouble.
She will cause bother if you invite her, and your husband will be on edge and thats not a recipe for a good BBQ.

God no way I'd invite her. Imagine how uncommon it would be , especially for your husband.

I wouldn't invite her. She'd probably leave her knickers under his pillow or something, the weirdo.

No Invite, and hope she gets the message.

What @Steelesauce said!!

It's only mean to exclude one person in the group if they've done nothing wrong to justify the exclusion. This lady has excluded herself from future social occasions with you and your DH by her own past behaviour.

If your dh won't be there then I'd be tempted to invite her just to see her looking all dejected when she realises he's not turning up.
But yeah, in reality, she's not worthy of an invite, and if she asks why, tell her straight she's making you and your dh uncomfortable.

This. A million times this.

why even give this woman and her feelings a second thought- she certainly doesn’t care about yours @Jusrollinstones

Look at this from a different angle. This woman has shown predatory behaviour to your DH, and made him so uncomfortable that he's blocked her from contacting him directly. To then go and invite her into your home, HIS home, would be massively unreasonable.

This isn't a children's party, if adults behave badly then the natural consequence is they don't get invited.

If she brings it up say to her face the reason and make it clear her reputation is well known.

Invite her. Let dh do the cooking. Armed with skewers he should be able to keep her away. If she shows herself up it's her doing. Don't let her blame you for being rude not to invite her.

I was just about to say the same thing as above. Why should this woman's feelings trump those of your DH's in his own home!

Don’t invite her and be honest when asked by her or others.

This

Definitely don't invite her and if you are questioned why, just tell the truth.

I know you say your husband won't be at the party, but I think it would be disrespectful to have somebody who has effectively been harassing him in his home, so no, I wouldn't invite this woman.

If anybody asks or if she kicks off, you would be completely within your rights to say why. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes, as the maxim goes.

Absolutely agree.

And the 'don't exclude posts usually relate to children's parties!

Steelsause is spot on. Why would you consider asking a woman to your home who has been so disrespectful? Why would your friends think that it’s ok????

Are you being unreasonable not to invite her....? I'd be wanting to punch her!! Can't believe you're asking this.

Marriage wrecking sl*gs NOT invited.

I loathe "women" like her.

😡👊

Absolutely NBU! Why should you be expected to overlook all these claims she's been making about your marriage to other people? If it was a one off drunken lunge and she'd been mortified afterwards then that might be different but it's not, she's consistently trying to chip away at him. Sod her. I hope your husband shuts her down every single time.

Sure. But if you are worried about being the bigger person or whatever then I would consider the name calling much more of an issue than not inviting her to a BBQ.

Your "friend" would soon change her mind about invitation etiquette if Mandy started throwing herself at her husband & dissing her marriage.

Sounds like your friend is looking for drama, or secretly enjoying your discomfort. Is she often unsupportive?

No it isn't. Her slutty behaviour is pathetic, and desperate!

Why does she have your husband's phone number?

That's not really the issue here though is it? Try and remember she's trying to have it off with ops husband and thinks he wants her too 😉

In this instance I would leave her out. You will be on edge if she’s there and won’t be able to enjoy your own party.