AIBU to not invite “Randy Mandy”

[Jusrollinstones]

AIBU to not invite to a BBQ a woman who is chasing my DH?

I’m organising a BBQ at my house for my walking group. A few months ago at the pub, one of the women got drunk and threw herself at my DH. I wasn’t there but DH told me immediately, and friends who saw it also told me. Since then she has tried to flirt with him at every opportunity. She has messaged him and he showed me the message and that he has blocked her. She has also bad mouthed our marriage, saying to a few friends that DH has confided in her that he’s not happy at home and she thinks she is in with a chance with him. Friends have said she makes a habit of this with married men and call her something similar to “Randy Mandy”.

I don’t want to exclude one person in the group from the BBQ, but I really dislike this woman. AIBU to not invite her? DH wont be there.

I would not invite her, but I'd also provide her with an explanation as to why and that it's not acceptable to do these things. I am surprised you have not already addressed it with her. You do have to be prepared for the possibility of her doing the same in return and not invite you or even others in the group who dont agree. You will obviously see her at all the other social events, so leaving her out of one gathering really just makes a statement it doesn't achieve much or address the issues.

Women like Mandy give me the creeps.

Just spread a rumour that she was once caught taking a shit round the back of Argos. No more group invites for her! Job done.

Well she's not very picky is she - any second hand man will do!

Huh? Why on earth would you invite her? Don’t be a doormat OP

Imagine how silly you'd feel if the OP had sent invites out on Tuesday and hadn't invited her. Good job you read the thread and realised that wasn't the case before posting, eh?

I have been told she has very low self-esteem

To be brutal, that's still not in any way valid excuse. It's for her to sort herlesf without trying to use your husbands or it.

Again. If the oest was a male, no one would be coming up with MH or low self esteem. Treat this behaviour the same way.

I followed capostrophe‘s advice and asked one of the other women to speak to her.

At other events I can walk away from her. If she organised anything I wouldn’t want to accept an invitation even if one was given.

It is a group of people who go on walks together not a close group of friends and no one seems to care enough about her to tell her she is being mocked.

I'm bemused by your response, why on earth would OP be lying? Have you never seen drunk people making an inappropriate lunge at someone? Happens ALL the freaking time. Lots of people in this world have no morals or respect for others.

Randy Mandy’s self-esteem is not your problem to address. She needs to sort her shit out and stop chasing married men. Forget “be kind”, she would just stomp all over anyone to get a man.

God her self esteem is going to hit rock bottom soon once the men reject her and then the women do. She needs to get herself some help, although I imagine she may blame you lot first for being 'jealous' of her. Hopefully she is embarrassed by her behaviour and apologises, but I doubt it.

The party was yesterday and Mandy didn’t show up. A few of the other woman thanked me for not including her. It seems she has angered quite a lot of people making comments about their marriages and their looks (things like them being too fat to keep their husbands happy).

The friend who was supposed to speak to her whimped out. She said Mandy always drinks too much and makes a fool of herself so we should just pity her.

I’m not sure she is worth pitying she likes to cause trouble and drama

I would just keep as much of a distance as you can she isn’t a nice person

Thank you for updating us OP, and glad your views seem to be shared by others in the group.

Of course not! Why the hell would you invite someone who is actively trying to damage your marriage?

Thanks for update OP!

Precisely. You reap what you sow.

Do women like this actually exist outside of MN?
I’ve never met any woman who acts like this.
Men on the other hand….so many men who act like this.

Yes.

Very strange, like I said, never met one.

I've never met a murderer yet they exist🤷🏻

I've never met loads of types of people but it doesn't make me think others are lying when they describe them.

Which is what questioning whether such people exist "outside of Mumsnet" is really saying.

…didn’t mean upset ya’ll…