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Original poster

DD18 has made me cry tonight - who is in the wrong

150 replies

Safarigiraffe · 18/07/2022 20:55

Took my daughter 18 to a appointment but it was out of our normal area so picked her up at 8pm. Basically she messaged me to say to get her 730 which was fine so didn’t realise car needed petrol as my husband took car to work today so had to stop off at petrol station as I would be driving on motorway. DD18 then messaged me to say as I was driving that she’s walking down the same route I took her fine I thought had her on Life360 so could see where she was.
However my Life360 was out of range & wasn’t updating so couldn’t see her at all & DD18 was not on route we took before so I phoned her to see where she was and she said look on Life360 so then I couldn’t get it working on my side (not sure why but sometimes it does that) so then DD18 phoned me up shouting at me on the phone, messaging me to get lost 😞 & I annoyed her which made me get so mad at her but as I was shouting at her on the phone at her disrespectful manner my phone cut out so eventually found her. She gets in the car shouting blue murder at me, I’m shouting back, she then grabs my phone and throws it to the back seat, I couldn’t stop as I was on the motorway driving so got home and shouted, said to her no more lifts anymore, so now I’m sitting here crying & very madly upset as well. Just to say I went mad at her when I got back home as well.

OP posts:
FourTeaFallOut · 18/07/2022 21:00

Is she always a horror or was she heat crazed? Either way, yes, I think you did the right thing and now I'd just play it by ear and wait for an apology.

Octomore · 18/07/2022 21:00

She was out of order, don't give her a lift next time. If she wants people to do her favours, she should treat them with respect.

I miss the days before phones when if someone was picking you up, you simply waited in the appointed place at the agreed time because otherwise they wouldn't find you.

Original poster
Safarigiraffe · 18/07/2022 21:01

Normally she’s ok sometimes she isn’t but yes I did say you sort your own lifts out from now on

OP posts:
CrapBag39 · 18/07/2022 21:02

Fucking hell. Has she behaved like this before?

luxxlisbon · 18/07/2022 21:04

I’m so confused about how this when started and why you both ended up screaming at each other.

kittythames · 18/07/2022 21:05

Almost everyone is feeling vile in this heat. No excuse but if it is a one off just let it go.

Brefugee · 18/07/2022 21:08

OP don't take it to heart, it's the heat and being 18.

When you are both calm have a discussion about what you will do if it happens again: if she is respectful and polite you will collect. If she is not, she will walk.

(But your OP was very very confusing. I'm not quite sure what happened)

Norgie · 18/07/2022 21:09

My daughter wouldn't have dared raise her voice to me, much less shout.
What punishment have you given her?

Luredbyapomegranate · 18/07/2022 21:10

Is she normally like this?

if not no lifts for a week then back to normal, but if she has horror tendencies then time for some boundaries. She is 18, too old for tantrums.

MarshaMelrose · 18/07/2022 21:12

She's totally wrong in shouting at you when you're doing her a favour. And no one should be throwing people's things around. But it's hot and it makes people short-tempered. So if it's a one-off, I'd just move on.
If it's regular behaviour, I'd buy her a bus timetable because that would be her mode of transport from now on.

PS, you really do need to get your electronics sorted out. One day there might be an emergency.

Original poster
Safarigiraffe · 18/07/2022 21:13

Brefugee · 18/07/2022 21:08

OP don't take it to heart, it's the heat and being 18.

When you are both calm have a discussion about what you will do if it happens again: if she is respectful and polite you will collect. If she is not, she will walk.

(But your OP was very very confusing. I'm not quite sure what happened)

To be honest nor am I all I know is that my daughter 18 lost it with me for some reason

OP posts:
Porcupineintherough · 18/07/2022 21:14

Just wow. Seems to me that Madam needs to spend a few years using public transport so she learns to appreciate lifts a bit more.

Original poster
Safarigiraffe · 18/07/2022 21:14

MarshaMelrose · 18/07/2022 21:12

She's totally wrong in shouting at you when you're doing her a favour. And no one should be throwing people's things around. But it's hot and it makes people short-tempered. So if it's a one-off, I'd just move on.
If it's regular behaviour, I'd buy her a bus timetable because that would be her mode of transport from now on.

PS, you really do need to get your electronics sorted out. One day there might be an emergency.

Totally agree about getting electronics sorted out however Life360 just would not update not sure why

OP posts:
Tellmewhyaintnothinbutaheartbreak · 18/07/2022 21:15

Is it just me who has no idea wtf happened here?

Are you both suffering from heat stroke?

Testina · 18/07/2022 21:16

Did you mean it about no lifts?
Or is there a pattern of her behaving badly and you just doing what she says anyway?
Stick to the no lifts.
I would - and have - easily forgiven snappiness in the moment, but throwing your phone?
Fuck that behaviour.
I think you’re unreasonable to have lost your shit back, but we’re all human.

Imissmoominmama · 18/07/2022 21:16

She was stressed and hot. Once you’re both cooled and calm, have a word.

Being shouted at is never nice, and even less so when you’re doing someone a favour, but if this is not the norm, I’d try to be understanding.

CourtneeLuv · 18/07/2022 21:16

so then DD18 phoned me up shouting at me on the phone, messaging me to get lost

This is the point you should have turned around and went home. Leave her to make her own way, the ungrateful brat.

Testina · 18/07/2022 21:18

Tbh, the point at which she refused to tell you where she was, I’d have told her that her only chance of a lift was to walk back to the drop off point.

ArnoldBee · 18/07/2022 21:20

You were driving you're not supposed to be using your phone.

Original poster
Safarigiraffe · 18/07/2022 21:20

Testina · 18/07/2022 21:18

Tbh, the point at which she refused to tell you where she was, I’d have told her that her only chance of a lift was to walk back to the drop off point.

I told her numerous times to walk back to the drop off point but she didn’t she was too busy shouting at me on the phone also told her to track me to see where I was but she refused

OP posts:
Original poster
Safarigiraffe · 18/07/2022 21:21

ArnoldBee · 18/07/2022 21:20

You were driving you're not supposed to be using your phone.

I was using my phone hands free

OP posts:
PeppaPigIsBacon · 18/07/2022 21:22

Norgie · 18/07/2022 21:09

My daughter wouldn't have dared raise her voice to me, much less shout.
What punishment have you given her?

You can’t punish an 18 year old!

I would, however, not be minded to give her any more lifts unless she apologises.

Longdistance · 18/07/2022 21:24

No more lifts. She can get herself a job and pay for driving lessons.

RichardOsmansXraySpecs · 18/07/2022 21:25

Well she can get the bus next time can't she? Little madam.

My teens wouldn't dare speak to their taxi driver (me) like that!!!

puddingandsun · 18/07/2022 21:25

Aw, a big hug.

Was she may be intimidated by something she saw when walking back/ scared that she's lost?
Is something else stressing her at the moment?

I'd have a chat about it when you're both calmer. Make sure you set your boundaries but also try and get to the root of it.