Definitely reporting now - is 101 the right number?

[PinkStarAtNight]

I started a thread the other week about whether I should report neighbours to SS because of child screaming through the night, and other things like mum being drunk in pool and not looking after the small children, smoking weed etc

Just now I've heard really really loud bangs coming from next door. No idea what it was, kind of sounded like a window being bashed closed again and again or something heavy being smashed down on worktops. Then lots of screaming from mother - 'STOP! STOP NOW' This went on for a while. It was so loud it sounded like it was coming from our upstairs (it's a semi detached)

Then child screaming and crying, sounds like same child from the other night. She is the smallest one I think. A toddler.

Then their back door opened and the crying child was pushed outside, with mother screaming 'GET OUT NOW! GET OUT THERE!...ITS TOO MUCH EMI. TOO MUCH' Then she slammed the door shut. The other kids were outside on the swings. They are a bit older but still young. They were trying to comfort small crying child.

They were saying to mum through window 'mum I can't talk to her because she just keeps asking for the door to be opened'. The mum shouted back 'No!'

A few mins later mum opened door and growled 'get in here'. Child still crying. Then I heard her say to slightly older children 'right I'm going upstairs, sort her out and DO NOT let her upstairs because honest to god I've enough.'

All is quiet now, but I really do need to report now don't I? I am in hold to 101. Have been a while now. .

Is 101 the right number? Or now everything is quiet should it be NSPCC or SS?

I live at home with my mum. She has just got home and I've told her why I'm calling 101 and she says she doesn't want me to call because she doesn't want any trouble. She thinks the police will come here and we will be in trouble with the neighbours.

What should I do?

I used to phone the police generally on my neighbours. Usually more so for domestic violence. Had many court citations to give evidence! Would still phone again in a heartbeat if I felt it necessary

Tell your mum that you’re not going to stand by and then one day there’s a knock on the door and the police are asking if you’ve heard anything as a child is dead. Everyone has an obligation to report this kind of stuff, too many people turn a blind eye. Good on you.

@PinkStarAtNight your mum no doubt shared posts about children that have died, and blamed SS for it happening.

absolutely call. A little one locked in an upstairs room in this heat is unthinkable

Your mother is a negligent idiot. You need to either call the police or go to a police station and report it in person if you're so concerned what your awful mother thinks.

I see a lot on MN about not phoning 101 but to phone 999. Not sure if people realise that phoning 999 won't necessarily get the police out quicker. The only real benefit is your call will be answered quicker. Once it's been answered there's no difference in how 999 & 101 calls are handled.

In the circumstances outlined by the OP now that things are quiet 101 really is sufficient. If the noise was happening just now then calling 999 means the call will be answered pretty much instantly

@SeenYourArse I think similar but haven't read prev post. I often send mine either to their room or outside to play so they can calm down and so can I!

This sounds like a mother at the end of her tether, yes, but not necessarily a 999 call. Maybe contact local social services, they can offer support.

Well enjoy your BBQ, unspoilt by the police coming round. I really hope something doesn’t happen to that child, as I certainly wouldn’t want to live with that on my conscience

Interesting the amount of people who say to phone (which I agree is the right thing to do) when there is another thread with the majority of people agreeing that social workers are evil monsters.

Just an observation on the hypocrisy.

Letvs hope we are not reading news reports in a year or so, about a serious case review where the child's neighbours chose not to report abuse in case it spoiled their BBQ.
OP, you have a responsibility to report this. Failure to do so makes you as bad as your appalling mother.

I think you can also report by text

Definitely agree with this

We used to live in a house divided into flats, the couple in the flat next to ours were always having huge rows, screaming, shouting & things being thrown. I reported every single incident to the police, and I called social services because they had two small children in the house with them. Social services never told them who it was who reported, and the amount of noise they made it could have been anyone on the street. We ended up moving out because it was intolerable for us and we needed to protect our own DC from the very loud / violent arguments (windows being smashed, man being chased out of the building by the woman wielding a knife), but at least I know I did all I could for those children while we lived there.
Put those childrens safety above your mums wish not to be involved, you could save their lives. And if their mum really isn’t coping, it could trigger the help she needs.

"Report it another time"?? Do you mean when it's too late? Unbelievable. You think a child is being abused and you're going to wait until what exactly? Same outcome as Baby P and the rest? If you don't want to be identified, don't tell the police where you're calling from. My neighbour was being ?assaulted by her boyfriend and I called the police and they arrived within 5 minutes and didn't mention who made the call (I could hear as she lived upstairs and the flat door was open).

I was thinking exactly this too.

Agree with @SeenYourArse about todays incident. It sounds like a mother at the end of her tether who has put the child outside with its siblings while she calms down. It's not great but it's not worthy of a 999 call surely? I know you said you posted before so I'm guessing there is more to this?

Honestly, what are you doing messing about on mumsnet when you should be helping this child?!

@PinkStarAtNight you can anonymously report this to nspcc who will refer the case to your local social care department.
Just explain that you're very worried about this young child, that the mother seems to struggle with the child, child screaming a lot at night, very young & lots of banging. Just what you've said here.
You don't have to give your name or address, say you'd like to report anonymously as you live in close vicinity

Yes they can, but they will be contacted beforehand, by several different workers likely, an appointment arranged at the convenience of the family - giving the parents time to talk to the children, guide them on why to say. Parents may not be honest or open about their struggles due to fear of what the press says social workers do.

A police officer, arriving on the day of incident, without warning, will have an opportunity to get a first hand account from parents and children - which will be fed into SS.

An also, eyes on just to check the children are ok.

OP,

I find the situation hard to assess. You could start by ringing the NSPCC. A trained volunteer will help you figure out what to do.

I did this a little while back. They told me to ring 101. 101 promptly escalated me to Urgent.

I personally couldn’t hear that and not phone someone to have the situation checked out. Out of interest @PinkStarAtNight - what age are you? Your mum seems to have a lot of say over what you can/can’t do!!!

A couple (both drug users as far as I know) were rehomed directly across from mine and DHs first ever flat. We were 2nd floor, they were ground floor so I could see right into their lounge. 3/4 nights a week he used to batter her. I’d hear them arguing, I’d look out the window and there she’d be curled up in a ball on the lounge floor, him holding her by the hair and kicking her full force in the torso. I phoned the police every single time and every single time they’d turn up, she’d deny everything and an hour later the couple would be walking down the street together as if nothing had happened.

I had a horrendous feeling that the day I didn’t phone would be the day I’d wake up and see police tape on the door. I could never have lived with myself.

You need to report this OP. Reporting abuse is everyone’s responsibility

You're too scared of your mum's reaction to phone. How much more scared do you think that poor toddler is?

You're acting like a child. Grow up.

Call the police now or report it online now. You don't need to identify yourself. No one will know it was you.

If they were that loud then any neighbour could have done it.

I'm so angry readying your posts. You're acting so pathetic. Just grow up. Those kids need help.

As an alternative to 101/999 you can call your local social services emergency duty team.

Just Google your local authority and emergency duty.

They will triage your report and send out social workers (and police) if they think necessary.