Definitely reporting now - is 101 the right number?

[PinkStarAtNight]

I started a thread the other week about whether I should report neighbours to SS because of child screaming through the night, and other things like mum being drunk in pool and not looking after the small children, smoking weed etc

Just now I've heard really really loud bangs coming from next door. No idea what it was, kind of sounded like a window being bashed closed again and again or something heavy being smashed down on worktops. Then lots of screaming from mother - 'STOP! STOP NOW' This went on for a while. It was so loud it sounded like it was coming from our upstairs (it's a semi detached)

Then child screaming and crying, sounds like same child from the other night. She is the smallest one I think. A toddler.

Then their back door opened and the crying child was pushed outside, with mother screaming 'GET OUT NOW! GET OUT THERE!...ITS TOO MUCH EMI. TOO MUCH' Then she slammed the door shut. The other kids were outside on the swings. They are a bit older but still young. They were trying to comfort small crying child.

They were saying to mum through window 'mum I can't talk to her because she just keeps asking for the door to be opened'. The mum shouted back 'No!'

A few mins later mum opened door and growled 'get in here'. Child still crying. Then I heard her say to slightly older children 'right I'm going upstairs, sort her out and DO NOT let her upstairs because honest to god I've enough.'

All is quiet now, but I really do need to report now don't I? I am in hold to 101. Have been a while now. .

Is 101 the right number? Or now everything is quiet should it be NSPCC or SS?

I live at home with my mum. She has just got home and I've told her why I'm calling 101 and she says she doesn't want me to call because she doesn't want any trouble. She thinks the police will come here and we will be in trouble with the neighbours.

What should I do?

Dont bother asking us if you are going to ignore our opinion.
Hopefully there are other neighbours with the courage to act.

Definitely report and if you can try and record the dog being hit. There was a case local to me owner really did beat a puppy he decided he didn't want. Neighbour recorded it and reported to RSPCA.

He did spend time in prison the pup had to have a paw amputated. But was adopted by one of the male RSPCA inspectors who fell in love with him.

This is an ongoing pattern OP and you need to report it, either social services, police, NSPCC (who will relay child protection concerns to social services and that is what they are)

You know something is wrong and it isn't a one off or even occasional episode of shouting, your last thread talked about her being drunk/stoned outside at midnight and the older kids begging her to come in to the little ones.

I'm not being flippant, but with the oncoming hot weather, even the calmest people can become more fraught when hot/tired and she certainly isn't that

This incident alone doesn’t sound that concerning, maybe she’s just at the and of her tether with her child. They can be utter arseholes sometimes you know…I sometimes have to put mine out in the garden because she smashes up the house when she’s having a tantrum 😮. They need to know it’s not acceptable. It’s called boundaries.

Go out of the house and ring the police!

You do not have to give your name and if I was you I wouldn't,but you do need to call the Police and now not tomorrow,not next week!

Would you be ok if something terrible happened and you hadn't rung the Police?

Report it now on 999. If you don't want to do it from your mother's house, then go out of the house.

sometimes kids can be such hard work, maybe the mum is struggling to cope, if a child is pushing you to your limits then maybe not such a bad thing to put them outside whilst you calm down?! Banging could be anyone in the house and not necessarily a child getting harmed, slamming a window not the biggest crime in the world. I would monitor it and if you hear anything that definitely suggests a child is being hurt then call but if hang fire for now, based on what you’ve said and monitor.

@puffalo you see the other thing making me hesitate, apart from mum's opinion, is that when these incidents are not happening there is actually a lot of times that the children are outside playing and seem happy. They have swings, a slide, lots of toys, they sound confident. They sometimes chat to my mum when she pegs the washing out. They look clean and well dressed. She takes them to school every morning.

It's just that when its bad, it sounds really bad. And the smallest child does cry a lot. And I'm constantly hearing her shout things like 'shut up' and 'get here now' in a really aggressive voice.

I'm not posting for attention I'm posting to get opinions because my mum made me feel like I was overreacting and if I do report it may actually be quite obvious its us, because the rest of the neighbours are the type that wouldn't. I don't know what the consequences will be for us.

Also, there's quite a few people on this thread saying it doesn't sound bad enough to report. So I don't think I can be blamed for being unsure what to do.

I didn't realise you could report anonymously online. I'll look into doing that tonight when I'm in bed. I won't say anything more to mum. That way if she does get asked by them if it were her, she can honestly reply that it wasn't and she knows nothing about it.

I should add that my daughter pushes me to the limit and when she is having a tantrum she makes as much noise as possible, throwing, stamping and banging, i would rather put her in the garden and cool off rather than letting things get more heated. Nothing you have said is definitive of a child being hurt. Quite possibly a child banging in the first instance. Mine screams when she is angry and sounds like she is being murdered when she is having a tantrum.

I used to worry I would get a knock on the door because of my daughters screams, no mummy shouts and the stamping/banging. I even changed her bedroom so she’s want directly on my neighbours wall which she would kick and bang whilst screaming at bedtime. Thank god this phase has now been grown out of 🙈However I’d have happily had that visit for them, if not a little embarrassed, to see nothing is wrong and know someone cared enough to bother. It could save a child’s life.
This could be an innocent case but the mention of drink, drugs and locking her outside don’t sit well so better safe than sorry.

So what if the neighbour knows its you

You should of rang 999 when it was happening

If she’s high on drugs she may well assault the OP, Let the police do their job

OP, there are messages here from police women and other professionals. Please read them.

OP, with respect, what your mother thinks belongs to another generation that allowed domestic abuse to happen because "what would people say?" Children are killed.

Imagine if something happens to that child and you hadn’t reported? You would have to live that for the rest of your life. I hope this isn’t real. To answer your question yes you should report. It’s bloody obvious.

For the incident written about here there is no way I would be calling anyone. She shoved the kid outside to play whilst she no doubt cleaned up whatever the child had broken , and calmed herself down. Then she let the kids back in and asked the oldest to look after the for a bit when she was upstairs. She didn't even swear? What has she done wrong that everyone wants to call the police! And lots of people keep their dogs outside. This whole thread is a bit weird.

We had concerns about how our neighbours were treating their kids. I recorded the screaming and reported to social services. The parents went to rehab and I’m so so happy that they are now all back together and there is no longer any screaming

I once put a note on a mother's car in a Waitrose car park as I saw her on several occasions shouting and visibly upsetting her beautiful twin girls. They were treading on eggshells to please her and she was like a tyrant with them. After witnessing her behaviour more than once, I wrote a short note anonymously saying "Your girls are lovely but you seem so stressed out whenever I see you with them shopping. They seem nervous and anxious. I'm sorry for whatever you are going through, maybe you are a single parent. Please reach out to a friend and get some support''. She spoke to her gardener friend who happened to be a friend of mine and she was struggling with a difficult separation and her business etc. She said I will change and stop being a bossy shouty mother. The next time I saw her with the girls, they were happier and the mother was more relaxed. Sometimes people need feedback.

My mum has just said 'what are you getting out of this? What are you getting out of blabbing on people? I don't get you. Stop poking your nose in where its not wanted. I'm going to have to hang up because she's angry. It's her house so I suppose I don't have the right to report neighbours against her will?
Mum is not always right. Your gut instinct and very real evidence is. What's the worst that can happen if you're wrong? A police officer goes around and decides things are ok. Better than the worst case scenario if you turn a blind eye.

Nspcc isnt accepting webforms at the minute so you cant report online through them. You need to call.

@puffalo I feel ya, I have twin strong willed 4 year old boys. They have lots of fingers and I have lots of buttons. Nearly breaking my neck several times a day being one of them.

I do explain to the neighbours when I see them. So they know I'm not just losing my shit for no reason. They also have a 4 year old. They get it. 😂

@Parkingmoan1 yep. Twin 4 year old boys here 🙋🏼‍♀️

They love a bit of simultaneous screaming when not getting their own way. Makes my ears cry. Always over things they've previously had 400 warnings about. Fml. I know exactly how you feel

This is how I read it, although sounds like you have other concerns too. I have once or twice (especially during lockdown!) shut a child out of a room or indeed in the garden with siblings because it really is too much and I need to sort out whatever toddler has done/take time out. From an outsider it could sound exactly as you describe apart from you wouldn’t hear me afterwards sitting and apologising to my child for how I behaved and sometimes mummy has big feelings too and need some time out blah blah etc.

They take emotional abuse just as seriously as any other type of abuse.

Wow, the downplay of at the very least emotional abuse is staggering. If your parenting involves shouting shut up at a toddler and forcing them into a room,/outside then you urgently need to engage with support and parenting classes.

I am absolutely shocked to hear such disregard for abuse and it is abuse - you are the adult you deescalate and remove yourself not escalate and scare a toddler or child.

I am not a perfect parent but Christ reading the replies is sending a cold chill down my spine, poor kids.