To not understand how can you live on £60 a week?

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19 year old DD's social worker has arranged for her to have chaperone at her UC appointments which means she can now claim. She has severe anxiety and cannot leave the house without another person much less speak to a stranger.

I've just helped her fill out a form on Entitled To to check how much she would get.

£60 weekly.

How the fuck is she meant to survive on £60 a week?

Does this mean HMRC still expect me to fund her?

Obviously I will but if I refused what the feck is she supposed to do? how can she eat and clothe herself on £60 a week? What about contributing towards gas and electric? Paying for her mobile phone? Accessing social activities?

I just don't understand how this can be deemed enough to maintain any kind of standard of living?

They asked for my income so I assume they've taken this into account. They didn't ask if I was related to her so would a friend also be expected to feed and clothe her?

If she can go out for a night out once a month she can get a bloody job.

No, but it’s a necessary step towards getting a diagnosis and showing the state that they can’t work.

Tell her to get a job in one of these pubs then. Honest to god. The entitlement is unreal.

Quincythequine stratforduponavon suggested that the daughter might be making it up-post directly above mine.

OP -your daughter really does need a thorough and proper mental health assessment.
I am thinking of Pathological Demand Avoidance, a form of ASD but there's also trauma involved. Who's to know what the problem is if she won't co-operate . I hope you can find a way to make her realise she needs to see someone.

Not engaging to get help and proper assessment, but trying to live out the ‘fun’ parts of your life where you can, would definitely raise eyebrows in many, including those who rubber stamp claims.

I think OPs daughter sounds unwell, but she needs some extra support which she has to be prepared to engage with.

OP I’m really not sure what your actual point to this thread is to be honest. You’re saying £60 is not enough, but then it is enough for your daughter but not for other teens. You want more than £60 for her so that you can take a fair share to help provide for her, but you don’t want her to have as much as PIP may give her. You wanted the money so she could learn to socialise more without your input, but you’re saying £60 won’t do this yet you won’t allow her to get more if entitled.
I’m genuinely confused,

If your daughter is entitled to PIP (which she probably will be), surely you should help her get this? Remember, even ‘famous’ financially well off people get this benefit IF they’re entitled to it! It’s not shameful.

Also, re ASD - there is no ‘treatment’. It is a lifelong disability. There are therapies and strategies to help you function, these may or may not, be offered to your dd. Instead of concentrating on the £60, I would concentrate on helping your dd access the diagnosis process and beyond.

Hi op. I'm a single parent and get a top up from UC, I also work. So I am not in the same situation as your daughter but I see a lot of similar posts to yours on Facebook groups etc, people in shock that they / their family members are not entitled to more money. During the pandemic some people found themselves relying on benefits for the first time in their lives. The problem is, the tabloids have a long history of persuading people that those on benefits are "raking it in" so it's a bit of a surprise when people who find themselves in a similar situation discover that's not the case.

UC for single people who are considered job hunters is deliberately kept low to encourage people to find work. This is even more the case for under 25s. It is not meant to be enough to cover everything - it is designed as a stopgap for food and essentials only. So an occasional haircut and a cheap night at the pub once a month fine, but not hair colouring etc or going out for meals on a regular basis. (Although some people may still be able to afford these things depending on their circumstances).

I am not familiar with disability benefits but those on these will receive more because they are not expected to look for work. This is why people with long term health conditions will need to visit their GP and start the ball rolling with fit notes, etc. this process can take a long time, so the sooner your daughter is able to do this, the better.

I think the reality is that most 19 years olds who aren’t earning are living with parents. I’d say even most 19 year olds with jobs are still living with parents nowadays. To automatically hand out £100 a week to teenagers who are for the most part living at home, supported in the same or similar way in which they were before reaching adulthood is not really justified. It’s not supposed to be long term support, the expectation is that these young adults make an effort to support themselves. That, I believe, also includes seeking help when dealing with a health issue that prevents you from working. There are exceptions of course - and these should be recognised and dealt with fairly - but I can see how benefits can’t be based on the exception, just like how student loans aren’t.

Exactly this.

I'm going to leave this thread be. It's going around in circles. I am never going to agree that £60 a week is enough for any adult to live on without another adult willing and able to subsidise them. It simply is not. And it is niether safe nor fair to assume that every young adult has a parent or carer willing and able to subiside them.

Anyone on benefits for whatever length of time and for whatever reason should be able to afford a small number of treats and should have access to social activies. Pushing people into poverty does not push them into work. It pushes them into depression and mental health problems.

The fact that people in employment cannot also afford these things is disgusting but we need to push for higher wages not lower benefits. It's disgraceful that the top 10% of the country hold 43% of the country's wealth while the bottom 50% have just 9% of the country's wealth and it is even more disgusting that the government has suceeded in getting those at the bottom to fight over the scraps they are thrown instead of looking up at those actually responsible.

Wrt DD and all of the suggestions made to help her, thank you. I appreciate that is meant genuinely but honestly this has been going for so long, with so many different professionals and charities being involved along the way that there is nothing we haven't already considered or tried.

The fact that she attended the college interview is massive for her and I am hopeful that if we can get her through her first week she will be able to start building herself back up.

OP I am sorry but I disagree. If benefits provide a nice standard of living with treats and socialising thyme where is the incentive to work.

mental health issues are dreadful - but they aren’t experienced by the majority of the population. Incentives have to be there to push people into work. A lack of treats and socialising won’t cause mental health issues for the majority of people.

you have ignored the comments that your daughter would receive more if she had to pay rent, and would receive even more if she engaged with the system and got a diagnosis. But for a teenager who is fit to work but chooses not to and lives at home - £60 per week is reasonable. She would receive help with rent if she didn’t live at home.

I think we will have to agree to disagree!

I really do hope your daughter can get through this, access the help she desperately needs and start to live her life again. She has had an awful time and my heart goes out to her.

Why should people who work long weeks with huge responsibilities, have young kids and can't afford treats for themselves and can't pay their gas/electric bulls this winter and is worried they may end up homeless, pay even more tax so an adult who won't find a way to get assessed for their health and still lives at home with their mum who enables them to avoid situations they don't want to be in can have treats like go to the pub with her mates?

Unfortunately thats the argument you will never get away from, because its a financial reality and life is fucking unfair. We aren't getting to get multinational companies paying more tax any time soon (and even if we did they'll probably push that onto households and other businesses further down the chain).

You don't want to face up to the fact that there is an element of can't rather than won't going on with your daughter. (And there definitely is). Thats fine. But it still is the truth here.

What professionals are you referring to op? Not one of them have diagnosed her though?

I demonstrated upthread how my daughter budgeted to live on just over £60 per week without me subsidising her.

The fact that people in employment cannot also afford these things is disgusting but we need to push for higher wages not lower benefits. It's disgraceful that the top 10% of the country hold 43% of the country's wealth while the bottom 50% have just 9% of the country's wealth and it is even more disgusting that the government has suceeded in getting those at the bottom to fight over the scraps they are thrown instead of looking up at those actually responsible.

I think you’re deflecting from problems closer to home. Easier to go on rant about the establishment than focus on what you can actually do change things for yourself and your daughter at home. Does your daughter hear all this from you? You’ve just confirmed to her that she’s entitled to everything in life paid in full by others despite doing nothing to help herself or even providing proof that she’s in need? She won’t get better this way. I agree with PP, you are enabling this on a massive scale.

I feel terribly sorry for your daughter. I hope she can find a way to work through the trauma and not let a rape at 14 define her and ruin the next 60/70 years.
However, you are completely unreasonable to think all people who choose not to work should have money to socialise, buy clothes etc as they wish. PIP is totally different but there are jobs available for able bodied people and choosing not to work should not be a comfortable option.

I can specifically remember being this age and being frustrated that I couldn't afford to do things i wanted to do. I couldn't move out of home. I couldn't buy clothes and on and on and on and on. This drove me to seek better paid jobs. Without that incentive, I just wouldn't have bothered. Its bonkers to pay young adults to have treats and to pay for their social life. My parents deliberately cut me off and gave me a deadline to get out of the house for this very reason. I really think you're barking up the wrong tree. I'm not saying tough love would work with your daughter as she clearly has very intrenched problems that I have no idea about. But giving a 19 year old the level of state handouts you're proposing is beyond mad.

The fact that people in employment cannot also afford these things is disgusting but we need to push for higher wages not lower benefits. It's disgraceful that the top 10% of the country hold 43% of the country's wealth while the bottom 50% have just 9% of the country's wealth

I don’t agree with you at all on this bit, and think that this view is not helpful.

We’re one of that top 10%, and have accumulated some wealth, but we did it through making ourselves very valuable to employers who then paid us well for our work. It didn’t just happen; like millions of others it came the right way, in pay for employment.

You seem to be angry that people who’ve spent decades building a career have more wealth and higher income than a single mother and her unemployed daughter, and to think that I should be asked to dig deeper to pay for your daughter to go to gigs so that you don’t have to.That’s not reasonable.

All parents who also have 19-year olds that are studying and live at home at home, should those parents also get tax money to pay to help with for electricity and food?

Sorry op your DD is not looking for a job and isn't seeking medical help . She needs to start helping herself as difficult as it may be.

Haven't read the full thread, but if she's too anxious to leave the house, how is she going on a night out once a month?!

According to the OP, that’s different. She can be OK going to a gig, having a boyfriend, going to the pub or sitting in the garden drinking wine, but anything that’s not about having fun leaves her feeling a bit anxious, which her mother would rather she didn’t experience.

Anyone on benefits for whatever length of time and for whatever reason should be able to afford a small number of treats and should have access to social activies. Pushing people into poverty does not push them into work. It pushes them into depression and mental health problems.

OP here is where your argument breaks down. Johnny dropped out of school at 16. Spends his days in his childhood bedroom gaming. He doesn’t want to work or study. Should he be given enough benefits to maintain this lifestyle? Enough to cover his keep and have a few treats - a night out in the pub with his mates and some new clothes?

Or will this money just remove any incentive to get a job? Like the majority of people, Johnny doesn’t have a mental illness. Will giving him £60 a week make him depressed or make him realise that if he wants to be able to afford some new clothes, a mobile phone and a social life then he will have to get a job?

you are viewing this through the lens of your very specific and unusual circumstances. But teenagers should not be able to afford treats and nights out and new clothes if they refuse to work. Where there is no good medical reason for them to be unable to work their parents and the state should be focused on getting them into education or work. For everyone’s sake.

Well, all that can happen is OP's DD goes to the Job Centre and applies. It might be a case of computer says no anyway.
If she gets money, she will have to prove she is looking for work unless she gets a sick note from her GP.