Should I pick up a crying newborn every time?

[DangerouslyBored]

Currently 6 months pregnant with PFB. Chatting with in laws recently, my MiL said, “you’re not going to be one of those mothers that picks up the baby every time it cries are you?”. I said I hadn’t really thought about it. She said, “you will make a rod for your own back if you do”.

So, I Googled ‘should I pick up my newborn every time they cry?’ and I’m as much in the dark as I was when I started. Seems that there is a ton of contradictory advice / studies on the subject. Can anyone fill me in on the latest advice?

My MIL gave that advice to my DH the day he was born ( unbeknown to me) . It’s the only time he’s ever acted on her advice, DS ended up in NICU 24 hrs later ( not as a result of being left to cry, I have never followed MIL advice). It was the first and last time DH let him cry.
Whilst we are talking about MIL advice, my MIL always blames everything on not drinking enough. DS was diagnosed with a form of childhood epilepsy which he has now, thankfully grown out of. To this day she believes that he ended up with epilepsy because the day he had his first seizure it was hot and I hadn’t given him enough to drink.
Firstly we were on holiday, she wasn’t there and it was far from hot. He also drank plenty. We realised that he’d probably been having them for a while, seizures only happened while he was falling asleep so as he was sharing a room with us it was the first time we’d seen him have a seizure. We had heard him “talking in his sleep” but these were probably partial seizures.
Her attitude towards him changed overnight once he was no longer a “perfect” child.
Just a heads up for you op. MILs can be very judgemental of your parenting skills. Fortunately for my DS one of his cousins ( who was the golden grandchild) has been diagnosed with some serious mental health issues, DS, however is now a normal ish, beer drinking, rugby and cricket playing 17/18yr old who having passed his driving test has become Mr Independent.
I instinctively parented him, he was breast fed till 2 and cislept with us until 3 and continued to sneak in until 10. He knows we will always be there and that is the most important thing for independence.

Oh stop trying to argue with me. That's just my opinion. Yours is different, that's fine. Peace.

A newborn can't be spoiled and can be cuddled as much as you and they want.

After the first couple months they become more alert and will have many different cries and you will be to read what they want much more easily to know if they can wait a few moments or need immediate attention.

The best advice anyone ever gave me? Do whatever you want and need to do.

Pick your baby up if you want, do whatever is natural to you.

Conversely if you need ten minutes, leave them to cry.

Your baby needs you and what you think is best. Your instincts are there for a reason - act on them.

Love this Copy and pasted. I will refer to this often I’m sure: Thank you 🙏🏼

Yes.
I was “one of those mothers”. My babies were picked up at the slightest whimper, coslept from birth because they didn’t tolerate being put down for more than 0.2 seconds at a time.
I have 3 perfectly healthy, happy, well-adjusted DCs.
A baby cries for a reason. Even if that reason is that they don’t want to be put down 🤷🏻‍♀️ Hold your baby OP.