To think this could be harmless sexting?

[Cherrycakepop]

I've been with my husband 6 years, married for 2. I've always been faithful, can't see that changing. But recently I've been sexting men. He knows about this as I told him out of guilt. But I'm worried about why I'm doing this. I know where to draw the line, but obviously I feel bad about doing it after I've got what I need from it. Please don't be mean.

Such a confusing thread Op, maybe indicative of your head space?

You say you feel the sexting was wrong, yet justify/minimise it with a million excuses

You say you have no time and don't work, yet you work on OnlyFans and spend a fair chunk of time on social media

You say your dh side lines you and won't talk, yet you're working through all these issues with him and your relationship is fine?

My advice is to have a 6 month break from all social media/Onlyfans. Stop seeking the validation of men to fix your insecurities. No wonder you're depressed.

Spend some time on free online training courses- you can do them at your own pace and get a CV together. Make some plans to find a job when you're dc are at school which doesn't revolve around how you look, you have far more to offer.

Your self worth shouldn't be so tied up with sex, you think you're tough but I actually think you're damaged from this and very defensive and unwilling to change.

I hope you can, your dh sounds long suffering of everything you're offloading onto him

I know it's wrong what I've done. But I know the reasons behind it. I'm trying not to be hard on myself because I've got a lot on my plate and realise I've made a mistake. I'm glad for the replies I've had on here. They haven't hurt me as I'm not a bad person and none of you know me beyond this. But it's made me see sense in a hard way. I don't work and am a sahm. The only fans stuff is an extra. I make a bit of money from it but not a lot. I don't upload a lot of content, just when I have time.

You still sound very conflicted and defensive. You don't have to justify yourself to strangers, maybe you're trying to justify things to yourself?

You could redirect all the PMs off the back of this thread to your OnlyFans and make a bit of money. <cynical face>
I think you should knock it on the head, it's damaging to your mental health, get your head straight without all this superficial self absorbed stuff x

Your situation sounds exactly like my wife. I found out nearly a year ago that she’s been doing this with multiple people for years and was extremely hurt. She didn’t feel she’d don’t anything wrong and it was pure fantasy. Since then our sex life has improved massively and we’re starting out with going to swinging clubs and websites like Feeld. Dm me if you want to know more

I’ve been through exactly this with my wife. DM me if you want my experience and thoughts/advice on it

My wife was doing this for 9 years. I discovered it 3 years ago but it continued, and each time I discovered it I was more and more hurt and distressed. She also claimed it was harmless and a fantasy. I was shocked but somewhat relieved because for a long time i believed she wasn’t interested in sex and over the next few years our sex life massively improved. We even joined an ethical non monogamous app together and because it was all above board I didn’t have a problem at all with the messages that I was allowed to read on there.

however I was left with a trauma which I didn’t realise I had and continued searching her laptop until eventually I discovered extremely explicit texts from 9 years ago of physical infidelity, in our home; around the time we were conceiving our first child and after she knew she was pregnant, and the texting continued with various people for years and I was lied to and gaslight for nearly a decade.

I’m definitely traumatised for life by this. I desperately urge you to work with your husband on working together on why you have these urges and work on them together. The pain he will suffer from betrayal is the worst thing imaginable. Don’t do it. Please