… to not expect to have to quarantine like a leper with covid now?

[wallpoppy]

Neither my partner or I ever got covid as far as we know until now, I was a couple of hours away at a holiday house with friends and was feeling a little peaked so took a test and it’s positive. I told my partner, he was sympathetic and asked if I was ok to drive etc, which I was- drove home without stopping to infect anyone else and he wasn’t home when I arrived- when I looked at my phone I had a message from him saying everything is all set and to let him know when I’ve settled in so he can come back.

Basically he’s fully set up one of the guest bedrooms and is expecting me to properly quarantine with the door closed and to be completely separate from him and to not go anywhere else in the house other than the toilet/shower room on this floor. He’s moved my work desk and computer setup in here (it’s normally in the study downstairs that connects the kitchen and the dining room), made the bed up with fresh linens, stocked me up with snacks, and will be delivering meals. If I need to go outside to the garden “that’s fine” but I need to wear a mask until I’m outside let him know so he can avoid the back stairs and the room I’ll be walking through for 30 minutes after and then the same when I come back in

I’ve been home in my plush prison for a couple of hours now trying to figure out if I want to start a fight over this but- this is crazy, right? Both of us are fully vaxed, no health issues, slim, active, etc. and he has never expressed covid fear before, he stopped wearing masks when the critical mass died down, but suddenly all this? I did ask if this was the new normal if we had a cold or a stomach bug and he says “it’s different”.

We have a 19 yo daughter who lives at home when she’s not at uni but she’s travelling now- she did have covid a few months ago but was at uni so this is the first time it’s been “near” so to speak (we both work at home so it’s been pretty easy to avoid).

Honestly I don’t know how to say this without it sounding like a brag but we have a lot of rooms in this house. Enough that we could easily eat our meals and do our work and avoid getting too close without a huge amount of effort. I’m pretty comfortable in here and I’m almost curious to see how he handles serving all my meals on trays but on the other hand this feels insane and I might just to stay at a nice hotel for a week.

Yabu. We did this. I don't really see your hardship here. Sounds like he has made it really nice. Shortly you will probably be feeling so rubbish you won't want to leave the bedroom anyway. I tested positive well before the true nastiness of it kicked in. It is NOT a cold. Not as bad as flu but a lot lot worse than a cold. Because it can linger it can wreck a lot of plans so I don't blame him for wanting to avoid it. You will look very silly if you strop off to a hotel and it hits you badly.

If your partner is that worried about getting covid, he should keep himself in one room tbh.

when Dp had it, we pretty much carried on as normal. Our house isn't big enough to be separate.

In your position I would be quite happy OP.
Nice comfortable room, no distractions or commitments outside of wfh, comfy bed, snacks, tv… I would be happy for quite a while.

Bit different in a small house with a few young children and a grumpy, unhelpful DH.

I think he's a tad over the top; 30 mins between being in rooms is excessive - 10 mins with some ventilation is fine if he wants to ensure safety from what I've heard, but I think you do need to respect his wishes.

When I had it in January, DH insisted I didn't go in the kitchen and he'd bring me things, which pissed me off no end, but I stuck with it. Now he's isolating and I said he could use the kitchen (while keeping distance) because frankly I didn't want to be waiting on him and it wasn't necessary. Other than that he is quarantining much as I did and a few days in it seems to be working and none of us have caught it.

In our case it is quite important to stick with it, as it's kids' final weeks in school, both have school show to perform in, next week is DS' final in primary school and oldest has Prom this week; and also I really don't want kids giving it to peers who might be supposed to go on holiday at the end of next week and maybe ruining that for another family.

We did exactly the same when DH caught Covid a few months ago, despite us being fully vaccinated. To be fair we have a one year old so it was more about protecting him, but we had the same set up with DH staying in a room, with meals delivered, etc.

Sounds sensible to me and like he is being very thoughtful in trying to make things as nice as possible for you.

We’ve quarantined both children (teens) when they had it and nobody else in the house caught it. They were very happy to quarantine too.

my idea of bliss would be an opportunity to quarantine from my family for a week!

Clearly you are on different pages. And it's fair enough he wants to take precautions, espeically if he doesn't know how it will affect him. Even just not wanting to take a week out of life is fair enough. It sounds like he has made a lot of effort to make it comfortable and practical for you.
We thought DH had it and while I wouldn't banish him to a room for a week, he would definitely sleep elsewhere and we would keep a reasonable distance. We've all had it before and know we don't react too badly - although like others on here, although I wasn't super sick when I had covid it took me months to feel completely normal and 5 months on I swear my chest is still tight.

YABU. We did this for my kids and DH. I was first to get it in my family. Young, healthy, marathon runner, no underlying conditions. It took me nearly 5 months to recover, with 2 weeks of having a very rough time - pleurisy, costochondritis, reduced lung function. I feel like I've lost most of my 2022 plans for life and work to covid.

He sounds like he's created a nice set up for you. Fingers crossed you sail through, but in a couple of days you might feel crap and want to be in bed anyway.

Wow! I would have loved it if DH had run around after me like that. He has been very considerate. I would make the most of it maybe ask for favourite meals. Some fresh air each day if you have a garden.
i was quite ill for a few days and now have long covid. Positive for nearly three weeks. DH had a cough but tested negative the whole time. Just be glad if you aren’t ill, people have died and you are whinging about being isolated with everything all done for you.

He’s obviously anxious about catching it. I can sympathise to an extent because I feel this way about stomach bugs, I really really don’t want to catch those so I go overboard with antibacterial spray and hand washing when DC catch one.

Covid has been different for us because it’s always DC who have brought it home from school and we can’t expect them to be prisoners in their bedroom so we’ve all just caught it. I didn’t have symptoms either time.

HRTFT so may have already been asked - has your partner taken a Covid test? Depending on how long you've been away, he may well be positive too (might have given it to you!), just not displaying symptoms.

I didn't, didn't catch covid off dp despite definitely being exposed.

I'm 30s, fit healthy and (was) very active. I caught covid last year and had a relatively mild case. Three months later I developed parosmia caused by my covid infection. No medical professional is able tell me for sure whether it's ever going to get better.

This condition means that 99% of food and drink tastes and smells like sewage, as well as many other normal things also smelling just as foul (other people's barbeques and fresh cut grass have become new enemies at the moment).

I've had this for 6 months and have been told I might soon have to be tube fed. I'm slowly starving in my own home because I physically cannot gag down enough to nourish myself. I can't go out to many places with my family because often the smell at such places is unbearable. It's isolating and frightening and I am miserable.

YABU. My life literally changed over night and is close to unbearable. People should do whatever they can to avoid getting covid.

YABU. My life literally changed over night and is close to unbearable. People should do whatever they can to avoid getting covid.

You're right - so it's her partner's responsibility to remove himself from OP if he's concerned.

It's not his job to force OP into quarantine and mask wearing in her own home.

I'm sorry you've been so unwell but I can't support adults forcing other adults into isolation over this. If you're worried about getting unwell then you need to change your actions, not force someone else to change theirs.

Everyone is going to get covid, avoiding it is delaying the inevitable.

Would you be happy to be forced into isolation while having no freedom of choice in the matter though?

My DD is insisting on staying in her room so that everyone doesn't catch it. Mind you, she's a teenager so spends a lot of time in her room anyway!

But that's the difference- it's her choice!

And it's a valid, sensible choice, but not one you get to force on other adults.

The "just carry on as normal" isn't really helping, though, is it.

news.sky.com/story/covid-19-restrictions-could-be-reintroduced-if-rise-in-cases-hits-nhs-backlog-minister-warns-12650185

I'd far rather people exercised a bit of caution if they're ill with Covid.

It's only the same as I'd do with flu or a bad cold anyway. Would you really just "carry on as normal" with flu, knowing you'd infect the rest of the family? I thought that keeping away from people - when you WFH, have plenty of space and spare rooms to do so, as OP has - was what anyone would do.

We all got covid in December (fully vaccinated in our house too). This was the second time we got it. I was absolutely floored by it feverish ached with a horrific constant headache followed by bone aching exhaustion when I was testing negative. Then in January I was rushed to a&e with very elevated high beat whilst I was sitting, it caused me to blackout. I might have long covid they told me. I’m now having investigations on my heart as there’s something wrong.

I’m fit and healthy and well within my BMI and slim.

So whilst it’s possible some people will feel like having a ‘cold’ for others it absolutely can be debilitating. Why would you risk that for your partner when he’s actually done all he can to make you comfortable?

and for those who go about as if nothing has happened when they know they have covid mixing with the public without precautions it’s spectacularly selfish.

but then I lost a lot of friends and family during the first wave of the pandemic and I’m still watching my friends little children struggling and growing up without their mum.

I've just spoken to a colleague who is fully vaccinated and fit and healthy in her early 40's and she was hospitalised with Covid at the weekend.

It still can affect some people really badly. If you can avoid contact with others then you really should. It is not a mild cold for everyone.

Sleeping separately, maybe not sitting around watching tv together and eating together are perfectly sensible and reasonable precautions. Demanding that you wear a mask in the garden is stupid, completely unnecessary and unfair. I’d tell him to fuck off on that one.

But ultimately it should be OP's choice, not something another adult forces on her, or where do we draw the line?

He wants her to wear a mask whilst she makes her way to the garden and warn him so he can avoid the area for a bit. She doesn’t have it wear the mask in the garden.

So sorry Cebb, that's awful.