… to not expect to have to quarantine like a leper with covid now?

[wallpoppy]

Neither my partner or I ever got covid as far as we know until now, I was a couple of hours away at a holiday house with friends and was feeling a little peaked so took a test and it’s positive. I told my partner, he was sympathetic and asked if I was ok to drive etc, which I was- drove home without stopping to infect anyone else and he wasn’t home when I arrived- when I looked at my phone I had a message from him saying everything is all set and to let him know when I’ve settled in so he can come back.

Basically he’s fully set up one of the guest bedrooms and is expecting me to properly quarantine with the door closed and to be completely separate from him and to not go anywhere else in the house other than the toilet/shower room on this floor. He’s moved my work desk and computer setup in here (it’s normally in the study downstairs that connects the kitchen and the dining room), made the bed up with fresh linens, stocked me up with snacks, and will be delivering meals. If I need to go outside to the garden “that’s fine” but I need to wear a mask until I’m outside let him know so he can avoid the back stairs and the room I’ll be walking through for 30 minutes after and then the same when I come back in

I’ve been home in my plush prison for a couple of hours now trying to figure out if I want to start a fight over this but- this is crazy, right? Both of us are fully vaxed, no health issues, slim, active, etc. and he has never expressed covid fear before, he stopped wearing masks when the critical mass died down, but suddenly all this? I did ask if this was the new normal if we had a cold or a stomach bug and he says “it’s different”.

We have a 19 yo daughter who lives at home when she’s not at uni but she’s travelling now- she did have covid a few months ago but was at uni so this is the first time it’s been “near” so to speak (we both work at home so it’s been pretty easy to avoid).

Honestly I don’t know how to say this without it sounding like a brag but we have a lot of rooms in this house. Enough that we could easily eat our meals and do our work and avoid getting too close without a huge amount of effort. I’m pretty comfortable in here and I’m almost curious to see how he handles serving all my meals on trays but on the other hand this feels insane and I might just to stay at a nice hotel for a week.

I think it's sensible. My husband had it a couple of months ago and I slept on the sofa for 8 nights. My dd had it with no symptoms but Ds and I didn't get it.

My daughter has just had covid and this is what we did, at her instance because shes not selfish, as she was worried about passing it on to the rest of the household. She's young and recovered well (though she's struggling to get back to running yet) but it wasn't "just a cold" at all.

We avoided catching it off her thankfully

It will be an inconvenience for a few days but why would you want to risk him getting it?

You're completely missing the point.

OP has come home and been dictated to by her partner. There was no discussion. No warning. Nothing. She arrived home to be told she had to quarantine, wear a mask and give advance warning by text if she wanted to use her own garden

He should have spoken to her first. Explained he felt uncomfortable and then OP would probably have offered to quarantine, or if not, told him she didn't mind if he stayed elsewhere for a few days.

It's not the quarantine that's necessarily the issue, it's the way he's dictated what she has to do - that's not the way an adult should behave.

If I came home from work with COVID and DH told me I had to quarantine in one room and text before I was allowed in my own garden, I'd think he was utterly fucking bonkers. No way would I just submit to another adult telling me what to do like that 😬

If he feels uncomfortable then the onus is on him to change his behaviour. He can isolate himself, go and stay in a hotel or with friends and family - but he doesn't get to dictate to another grown adult about how they have to spend their time!

Totally mad. I agree. I would not comply with such paranoid measures.

I've got Covid at the moment and am locked away from the family in my bedroom, only leaving to use the bathroom.

My choice, because I don't want to infect them so they don't miss out on all their plans for next week - DD1 has a zero hours contract job when she's home from Uni and she won't get paid if she can't work. DD2 has a trip away booked with friends next week which she would be gutted to miss.

if your DP is willing to do all the domestic work and prepare all your meals and run the house while you're shut away - it's a lot for one person - then go with it, at least for a few days.

My DH brought me covid as a work trip souvineer. No way would I have quarantined away from him. Figured I might as well get it done too.

But you didn't seem to mind risking your housekeeper's health. I have Covid again, and while it's not as bad as the first time, it is no cakewalk

I’d just laugh and laugh if my DH tried to quarantine me me in my own home.
I find relationships like this really sad. Don’t get me wrong, OPs situation is no better either and being “forced” to quarantine with no conversation about it, is of course, not ok. But to so nastily and flippantly dismiss your partners health concerns? I’d avoid, as much as I could, my family when I was poorly with any illnesses that is transferable, why wouldn’t you? Not laugh at them for having genuine concerns (or even possible anxiety) over something. Not the sign of a nice person tbh.

Where do you get that from? Our housekeeper isn't in full time, only certain days. Both she and my partner were perfectly capable of leaving food for me at a distance. What a daft post.
Typical MN reaction when someone is brave enough to admit that they have a comfortable life. I've had a shit life as well, just very, very fortunate now.

We tried that back in March when I tested +ve.

So we separated the house, me in the main bedroom - bed actually as I felt rough. Meals brought to the door, Masks on. Barred from most of rest of house.

Quite hard work.

By Wednesday mrs.Dexion feeling a bit peaky Tested +ve.

House splitting experiment over.

If important to not both get covid then, perhaps with some adaptations, fair enough. You are both fully vaccinated?

If not then live life normally.

@Hbh17 I'm not even sure why you bothered testing - what is the point? If I knew somebody in my house had Covid, I would just expect us to carry on as normal. If they felt unwell, it would be their choice if they wanted to spend a day in bed - as with flu or a bad cold. All this continued hysteria about masks, handwashing etc really needs to stop.

Exactly. I had the flu two weeks ago. I stayed in bed for three days and my son looked after me; I had no appetite but he brought me flasks of ginger tea with honey and Echinacea from the pharmacy. My daughter and her children came to visit. I was up on the fourth day. My daughter had the flu the following week, as did her kids (for one day). Her husband also got it, and finally, my son.
Was it CV19? We don't know. We did not test. We don't care. We did not wear masks. We all have functioning immune systems and it did its job, and we are all the stronger for it.
This panic is totally bonkers. The really crazy thing is people driving in their cars alone, wearing masks. What are they so terrified of?

My sister and her partner just did this kind of set up when she got covid.

Over here its one of the boxes you need to tick if you work in certain areas and want to continue working as a close contact -Being able to live separate in the house and have different bathrooms.

I would do this regardless because why would i want to put anyone else at risk.

im not in a risk group but it took a good 3-4 months to feel normal again ( Eg able to exercise at same level as before ) post Covid . I had awful fatigue . I isolated the way you described - I didn’t pass it on . You cannot assume your DH will have the same Covid experience as you. It makes sense not to spread it further IMO. Covid isn’t a cold . I don’t want it multiple times a year .

I don't think keeping his distance is unreasonable but confining you to one room of your own seemingly generously sized house like a prisoner is somewhat over the top unless he's extremely vulnerable.

DH and I live in a one bedroom flat so when I had covid we couldn't isolate from each other if we'd tried. We did everything normally, we slept in the same bed in fact I'm pretty sure we had sex with each other and he didn't catch it from me.

DH had Covid two weeks ago. 3 bed house with 7 people, not really any option but to crack on as normal. Shared a bed still etc.
No one else caught it, but I was accepting I might.

These threads are always full of people saying how poorly they were with covid. And while I’m sorry they were poorly of course, this is a self selecting sample and most people aren’t really bad.

When I had it I carried on sharing a bed with dh. He didn’t actually catch it. Maybe if your dp is so worried he can lock himself up in the spare room?

This is complete insanity @wallpoppy

I don't know quite where to start with how unreasonable he is being. What would he do if you had a tiny house with just one bathroom/loo?

@Hbh17 I'm not even sure why you bothered testing - what is the point? If I knew somebody in my house had Covid, I would just expect us to carry on as normal. If they felt unwell, it would be their choice if they wanted to spend a day in bed - as with flu or a bad cold. All this continued hysteria about masks, handwashing etc really needs to stop

I agree with every word of this, and I would be very, very pissed off if someone unilaterally decided to quarantine me.

I think the government says 5 days post positive LFT …so you’ve only got to do 5 days to be past high contagious period.
preach compromise with him then. After 5 days state you will imerge and continue to take precautions like mask, hand washing different beds etc for the remaining 5 days.
tbh, if he is going to wait on you hand and foot I’d try to view that positively and let your body rest asap. Long covid is definately a risk for even vaccinated and the evidence seems to point a greater risk at people that try to do too much too soon.
it’s a pain for you, but I don’t see it as completely unreasonably…just a bit ott

I applaud anyone for trying if they think they'll never get it. As people are now going to work and travelling with COVID I think it's inevitable...if you're not fully immune.

Tbf I wish we'd done this. I was expecting to get a cold whereas I'm still completely knocked off my feet on day 12. Cost me a weeks wages and I can't think straight.

This ^^ and tbh he sounds lovely going to so much effort to get things ready for you

I think it seems a little OTT but the idea of being brought all my food and drink and getting to stay out of the way in my own space fir a week or so sounds brilliant at the moment. Enjoy!

I’m a bit confused. Lots of accounts here of it being more than “just a cold”, taking a while to recover, etc. seem to be suggesting it’s worth trying to avoid. But I can’t picture a world where anyone avoids getting it? Don’t we end up in a situation where 100% of people will have had it at least once? Maybe except for Bruce Willis in that film (you know the one).

So yes, maybe there are things people can do to put getting it off for as long as possible, but I feel like that’s just delaying the inevitable, and if it means locking your wife in a room for a week then it maybe isn’t worth it?

I don't know. I had it in April and only had a mild cold but it took 2.5 months for the fatigue and muscle aches to go and 3 months on the brain fog is still a factor.

He should've discussed this with you rather than unilaterally deciding, but unless he's usually controlling I wouldn't read anything into it. It does sound like he put a lot of effort into making things as comfortable as possible for you.

However, does he think he'll avoid catching it forever? Fair enough not to want it now, or to want you both out of action at the same time, but if he's worried about getting it at any stage I'd be a bit worried about him.