Baby after 38 when you already have a teen - Yes or no?

[SnBLurker]

Hi,

Just that. I'm deliberately keeping it simple.

YABU (no) = Too late under the circumstances

YANBU (yes) = Go for it

I'd happily have a first baby at 38...but I wouldn't if I already had a teenager. It's too many decades of parenting for me! Your 20s/30s and 40s all dedicated to kids...no thanks

My pfb was 25 when i had my last dc at 43.

It's obviously your personal choice and will depend on your circumstances. Speaking from experience of having a baby when I already had a 15 year old I would not do it again. I had forgotten how tiresome children can be and underestimated how much less energy I had at 35 compared to 18. That baby is 20 now and although I love her dearly I would not have made the same decision.

No. I'm 42 with a 16 and 11 year old and as much as I love them, I can't wait to be able to do what I want, when I want to again. I did go through a phase of thinking about it when I was about 36 when I got together with my DH, but decided against it, for many reasons.

A no from me OP. I had my two close together as I didn’t want a big gap. I think as a first time mum it’s fine, but why would you want to start all again, with sleepless nights, feeding, nappies, then potty training, pre school, and all those endless school runs, hormones playing tricks on you I expect OP. But good luck with whatever you decide to do.

38 is definitely not to old to have a baby now people are getting older when having babies

I don't See why you shouldn't have another baby if it's something you really want it would be a completely different experience this time if you were only 14 when you had your first

No way. I couldn’t do it all over again. You’d spend decades of your life parenting.

The OP doesn't seem bothered about getting into a discussion but I'd be cruious to know how she thinks the older child would take it.

I was the child. No.

I would if you want to. I was forty when I had my first. Would have liked more but it didn’t happen. I still have a ‘void’ although part of it for me is I never wanted my child to be an only one. Having said that, there might not be the closeness you’d hope for if they were nearer in age. Not that that it’s guaranteed at any age I think it’s totally a personal choice. In your position I’d have have gone for it.

I haven't been in this situation myself, but I have a 40 year old friend with a 21 and 14 year old. She had another baby last year and clearly enjoying the experience.

If you want another kid, not sure age of the first kid really matters.

I have a friend who did exactly this, everyone thought she was bonkers but it's worked out well and she's very happy.

I had DS2 at nearly 41when DS1 was 19... Yep most people say I was mad to do it

God no, if your teen has kids of their own in 10 years that would mean you’d be a grandmother and have your own kid to look after! Enjoy a few years of peace and quiet before grand parenting duties may begin 🤣

We had a baby at 40 our boys were 13, 11 and two at 10 (one mine one OHs) It has pros and cons like any gap. But what do you want?

I was 35 and 38 with mine oldest is now 7 not a chance I'd have another baby now no bloody way

The hassle and expense and everything is going up aswell so I'm with the poster who'd rather drink bleach!!!!!

Plus think of your teen and their quality of life too as well as your own it's un-necessary

I think @MatildaTheCat is absolutely right, it depends on your personal circumstances. I know a few families with age gap 10 years between children : it worked really well in some and less in others.
One thing I know for sure that the relationship between siblings will be very different and balancing their needs will require bigger effort from you.

I had my DC young, and became a GM at 39!!

I can tell you, as much as I love spending time with my GS I'm very, very glad he's not mine and eventually goes home So for me it would be a definite no, but I'm permanently knackered at 44 - it depends on the person. I've got a few friends the same age as me who've had kids over the last few years and seem to have sailed through it fine!

No, once you start with the perimenopause your energy levels may plummet.

I really wanted another at 38 but I am so grateful I didn’t. DS and I are now relating as adults and it so nice and enjoyable (so is my new freedom), I cannot imagine being to the stage where I need to be worrying about tweenagers in my 50s.

No way.

I am in my mid fifties with two teenagers, it is great ! I am loving this stage.

I have a 13 yo, 12 yo and a 5 month old! Baby was a happy surprise. I'm late 30's.

If you'd asked me a few years ago I'd have said fuck no!! But i did wish I'd had another at about 32.

My older 2 adore the baby and love entertaining them 😂

Can't lie, i do miss the freedom and pregnancy in my 30's has been a bitch compared to my 20's. But i am so much more financially better off now so it's been lovely not worrying about money this time around and i have far more patience too haha

I'd say really think about it, but you'll never regret having them once they are here

Gut feeling for you???? Y/N?

I would say go for it or not based in your answer to the question above.

I had one at 22 and another at 35. It was OK- slightly harder to do the sleepless nights but I had maturity and wisdom and more patience.

I know people always say you won't have the energy of a young mum but I found night feeds and lack of sleep so much harder at 18 than at 38. Have you ever tried to get a teenager out of bed? I hated that part of being a mother but much less of an issue as a 38 year old.