Grandparents cancelling babysitting

[Cara671244]

So me and dh were invited to a wedding back in February... wedding is in October. I asked my parents months ago if they would have dd for the wedding. They said yes. It's the whole day and night. So we returned the rsvp saying we would be attending.

Now my parents are after being invited to the evening part. They now want to go. My dd makes very strange with people and my parents are the only ones who have ever minded her.

I think it's unfair they want to cancel now but also realise they aren't obliged to mind dd either so who is being unreasonable here

I'm glad you have found a solution, OP, and I hope it works out.

I'm happy that you have a good friend that will take care of your child. Your parents are behaving very selfishly.

@greatblueheron OP mentione dthey dont have much spare money so it's a bit pointless to pay for random babysitters for months if they dont need it now just for one night it may pay off.

I completely agree.

It is so tedious to read the constant need for explanations from posters, for local expressions people might use.

Really fxcking tedious and PA.

Is basic comprehension such a stretch for so many in the variety of ways people use the english language on here?🙄

I hope your little one settles and you get to have a nice time with your husband. What your parents did was wrong, got a better deal and decided to go with that.

Very annoying of your parents to change their mind on babysitting and accept the evening invite which means that you wouldn’t be able to attend the full event with your DH.

I wish PPs would read the whole thread though, OP has said it’s a child free wedding and people are still suggesting taking DD, and OP had said she can’t afford trial runs with a babysitter to get her DD used to it.

@Cara671244
That sucks.
Your parents sound a bit unreasonable here, now I know that the bride is a school friend of yours, and not a friend of your parents.

Mind you, Ireland 🇮🇪 does seem different to UK
people do seem to know everyone, especially in Rural Ireland.
What a bummer.
The evening part will likely be the most fun as well.
I’d try a local babysitter- but I feel that it’s you who doesn’t trust a babysitter-
I was just the same- Young kids really need a responsible sitter especially as they can be much harder to settle.

Hope it all works out Ok Op.

Would they actually let do down if you couldn't find an alternative?

You have said that they would like to go which is fair enough-but have they actually accepted without knowing if you could get childcare?

It's a shame that the other GPs wouldn't help out in such a situation.

People shouldn't have to state their nationality to avoid rude comments

Indeed. I despise this pseudo "confusion" towards local dialects.

If parents have your dd in the day, then bring her to the venue when they come in the evening, yYou can stay a little longer.

Don’t know how helpful this is but last night I babysat for two children I look after at nursery so the parents could enjoy their wedding reception. I’m someone the children know and the parents feel comfortable with. Could something similar be an option for you? Obviously I know that different places have different policies and unsure the age of your DC

@Stellaroses you’re not Irish Stella then?

This is so cruel of your parents. I hope your friend is able to settle her!

My parents never babysat OP and it was so upsetting to keep turning down invitations out. In the end I found a babysitting circle that some school mums had started in a neighbouring village. You all took it in turns to be the co-ordinator for the month, and you'd basically request a sit and they found you someone to do it. There were strict rules about times (ie not past midnight), and people who tried to take the piss got swiftly removed. It worked really well for me and I used to quite enjoy the sitting for others as there was a big etiquette around nice snacks! There were about 30 members at one point, and it sort of happened that you found regulars who'd cover you and you them. It's still running many years later. Maybe an idea to look for something similar locally or even start one..........

So she'll be nearly 4 by the time of the wedding? Stay! You might not last until the end of the evening, but can't you team-tag looking after her with your parents and just push back her bedtime as a one-off? Bring a buggy for her to crash out in if she gets tired. Weddings can be huge fun for kids, sliding around the dancefloor in their socks.

Have people missed the point about this kind of think costing money OP doesn't have? Not everyone has spare cash. She's said she's saved hard to afford it as it is. There is no money for repeated childminders or seperate taxis home and away etc

Disagree.

But then I tend to stick to commitments. I don't agree with letting people down

Argh, should've RTFT! Didn't see it was a child-free wedding. In that case, I'd be telling childhood friend that by inviting your parents, well-meaning though it is, she's scuppered you staying for the evening part.

She's not invited.

Grandparents put grandchild to bed at 7pm in their house. Husband gets a cab to the house to take over. Grandparents return in taxi to wedding. Mum and grandparents return to house after wedding. Mum and husband stay the night.
perhaps grandparents haven’t had a night out in ages either.

you need to get your child use to other people as you are making a rod for your own back.

Are husband’s family available to come and stay to babysit?

Why can’t neither of you drive? How do you get around if you live in a small town?

Are your parents friends of the bride's parents?

Regardless, they are being selfish, and undermining what the bride actually wants (OP is the first choice of guest).

I am glad you have found a possible solution, OP, and hope it all works out.

I think OP was looking more for a place to rant than she was looking for solutions that aren't actually practical to her situation.

Exactly this. Absolutely awful behaviour from the parents. Have they got form for being selfish bastards OP? My parents would never do this in a million years. Can't believe they would actually sit at the evening party of your childhood friend knowing that you are unable to celebrate with her because of their selfishness.

Are you the poster who couldn't work out what an ice cream truck was?

@Stellaroses

What do you mean “after being invited”? It literally means after receiving the invitation. Logically then OP received her invite, arranged childcare, then Mom received invite and after being invited to the wedding decided she wanted to dom

What does “makes very strange” mean? that OP is Irish