Grandparents cancelling babysitting

[Cara671244]

So me and dh were invited to a wedding back in February... wedding is in October. I asked my parents months ago if they would have dd for the wedding. They said yes. It's the whole day and night. So we returned the rsvp saying we would be attending.

Now my parents are after being invited to the evening part. They now want to go. My dd makes very strange with people and my parents are the only ones who have ever minded her.

I think it's unfair they want to cancel now but also realise they aren't obliged to mind dd either so who is being unreasonable here

grandparents haven’t had a night out in ages either.

They’ve got all the time to have a night out if they want. This was the OPs rare night out with her DH.

To me "after being invited" means hinting for an invitation.

Op then puts "they now want to go"-so it's pretty obvious that they have actually been invited!

So not that hard if you read the whole thing!

It's not fair to your parents to have them as the only childcare in your kids life, it was your choice to have a child

Your parents really should decline, they are being extremely selfish.

I would personally tell them straight that while your friend thinks of that fondly, she is only asking them because of you. say she is horrified - I’m sure she wouldn’t mind - that you her oldest childhood friend is missing an evening out.

Otherwise they really must tpay for a babysitter- someone who is used to little kids - and if your DD acts up can deal with it. She’s nearly 3 you can explain what’s happening to her. It’s not the end of the world If she plays up.

IMO, you've posted some bollocks in this thread (loads of people are also NOT good friends with their child's friends parents) - but this is absolutely, categorically true.

They owe OP nothing - until they made a commitment, at which point they owe her to honour it,

Yes, why do you hold a gun to your parents heads and force them to babysit your child, op?

Shockingly, there is a variety of people in Ireland and a variety of different weddings.

Maybe it's just English English. I'm Scottish and understood OP.

An your DH not approach his parents again? Perhaps now your DD is no longer a baby they will be willing.

@billy1966 nothing wrong with politely asking what something means if phrased differently or a local word / dialect etc
When i moved to south west I often had to ask what something meant or a word was as I had never heard of daps etc

Maybe it's just English English. I'm Scottish and understood OP.

I'm American, and I understood what OP meant. From the context.

@User2145738790 you often read on here though how they are always invited so people may have got that assumption
As i have read on here a few times people saying in ireland kids are always invited , never heard of a child free wedding etc

@SenecaFallsRedux did you know what makes very strange meant as well ?

Indeed, but any time someone doesnt use RP, you'll find a few arseholes asking what they could possibly mean. Less instead of fewer is an example.

"After being invited" and "make strange" are easy to understand when you look at the context of the post. I don't believe for one second that poster couldn't figure it out. It's pretty much always snobbery and dickheadedness when people ask wHAt DoES ThAT mEAn? when someone says something regional.

Especially from posters who probably have familiarity with Father Ted and Derry Girls. We’re not talking about the idioms of 16th century Katmandu.

I can see it’s a bit hurtful your parents have let you down but I also think YABU because there’s loads of time to get a new babysitter and to get your daughter used to a new babysitter. Which obviously you need as there’s no point relying solely on your parents if they will let you down

If DD doesn’t settle with your friend, why doesn’t DH go back on his own & you go home with your parents for the night?

Yes, why do you hold a gun to your parents heads and force them to babysit your child, op?
Did you add a head tilt and a MN "tinkly laugh" to this BS?
OP asked 8 months in advance if they would look after her child for one day. They said yes. There were no guns.

Oh dear, someone doesn't understand sarcasm.

Tinkly laugh

@Harridance Are you the GP by any chance.

She can't afford it , she's said

Blimey - your parents have got some nerve. Its quite impressive really.

Hopefully you've got a good alternative set up now with your friend. But imagine if you do have to leave early and your parents are there all night dancing the night away with all your mates instead of you. grin]

I agree @BadNomad . I’m English and I understood perfectly well what OP was saying. Some posters behave as if they have never met anyone who uses regional dialect.

I really feel this for you 😢 weddings are expensive and I get that you were hoping to make the most of it and have a really nice time together and now it's a bit wasted by having to go home and swap with your parents. If I was you I'd sit down with your parents now and have a wee chat about the logistics of the babysitting, ie when you two will have to leave wedding to relieve them so they can go and join the party, I think with well chosen words it might dawn on your mum that whilst she has every right to attend, the kinder thing to do is let you enjoy your friend's wedding and stay home and babysit. Again they have every right to attend but I don't think you're being unreasonable being disappointed and hoping that they would decline so you could enjoy it, I think that's understandable and not selfish and I hope your parents realise