Why won’t my SIL who’s staying this week let me be alone in the AM?

[Kidsaretryingtodestroyme]

I’m pissed off anyway as DH gave me 3 days warning SIL and BIL were coming over from abroad for a week to stay.

Routine 1 disrupted: I’ve got an extremely demanding job, work 3 days from home and they are sleeping in back bedroom which is my office meaning I have to work from kitchen table.

Routine 2 disrupted: I’m a terrible sleeper so have a habit of going downstairs at 3am to make myself a hot drink in the hope it will make me go back to sleep. After day 1 she commented she heard me going downstairs i.e I woke her so I can’t go downstairs anymore so instead lie in my hot bedroom unable to settle.

Routine 3 disrupted: Every morning I try to get up and have a coffee before my 2 primary aged kids and DH get up (when I can as youngest is usually in my room for 6.30am). Just 5 minutes me time. This is because, probably connected to my poor sleeping , I’m pretty grumpy in the morning. I do not want to interact. However, as soon as she hears me stir in my room, getting up to put on my dressing gown she leaps out of bed to put kettle on and empty dishwasher. When I get downstairs she’s asking me if I slept well and other morning small talk bull shit. I’m seriously not in the mood today because due to the heat (which I love in the daytime) and being confined to my room at night being unable to wander I’ve had about 2 hours sleep.

Not a big overnight houseguests fan anyway as I can’t stand having to make myself look presentable as soon as I get up.

I just want to scream. Give me some fucking space in my kitchen for 5 -10 minutes so I can sort myself out and become a friendly person. Fuck off!!!!!! How do I get her to stay on her room for a bit in the AM without being rude? I’m so tired I know my tone will be off.

I'd be going to a hotel letting DH do the entertaining if he set me up like that

I'd be going to a hotel letting DH do the entertaining if he set me up like that

Same here @ASimpleLampoon !!!

Sorry but it's just 5 days - they will soon pass. Surely you can be adaptable and change your routine for a few days just to be hospitable?

Personally i would continue with your night time trip downstairs.
It is your routine & SIL can easily get herself back to sleep.
Make sure they know you have to be in the room for work between whatever times & stick to that.
As for the mornings just explain your routine & say I am not wanting to seem rude but I need my 10minutes of quiet when I wake up.
It is only a week long visit BUT your job still has to continue.

Apart from the situation as it is, a couple of questions:
1 do they have any children?
2 If you're both working, why have they come - don't they work?
3 Is this a regular thing - do you go & stay at theirs when they're working?

1. Is there a reason why they've come to stay?

DH should have checked with you first, people in your house, even if you love them can be a bit intrusive after a while.
Can you go into office during the day?
I would still quietly go downstairs for a drink if you helps you settle. Just explain and apologise if they comment .
The morning dishwasher thing sounds like sil is trying to be helpful and a good house guest so I would suck this part up for a week other than perhaps say I'm not very chatty in morning .

I voted for YABU, but on an objective level only.
The person who has been unreasonable, IMO, is your husband, for landing this one you, at short notice, without considering how it would impact on you.
Can you hire/borrow a room elsewhere for your days working from home, and hand over the morning routine to him?
As for your SIL, it's sounds on face value as though she's just trying to be helpful and build a bond with you.
Could you have a quiet word with her at and time when you're less tired and cross, and explain how tired you are at the moment and that it would help if you could have 20 minutes first thing to come round?

Does she have jet lag? Is she waking up early anyway - I do when I travel to the states - and she's lying awake bored?

A week is a long time for house guests. Get through this one. Give DH a rocket for the short notice. Don’t accept such long stay guests. Your SIL doesn’t sound bad but, like you, I’m murderous if I don’t get a little time alone in the mornings.

Zombie thread. Am assuming SIL has gone home by now!

Y'all need to be arrested for this

For goodness sake, just bear it for the week, which must he halfway through now.
She's only being helpful and as for getting up in the night, just carry on.

I'd hope the SIL is long gone given the OP posted this in July!

Oh, gosh! That is so funny! I hadn’t noticed it was July. I assumed it was a Christmas holiday visit 🤪🤪🤪

You can still go and get a nighttime drink. I bet if she laid in every morning whilst you sorted the dishwasher and the coffee that would be wrong too. She sounds considerate, you don’t.