Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

am annoyed with hubby as he has manflu and has decamped to his mothers????

91 replies

rosturra · 16/01/2008 22:13

My husband got a cold on Sunday(you would think it was the plague) and as his mother lives 5 mins away he felt it would be okay to go to hers and he has been there since tucked up in bed with all his meals served to him, cups of tea etc....full nights sleep... While I am at home with our son who has a cold,is not in playschool as a result, is cranky and clingy and Im trying to run the whole show here. He says I am being unreasonable as he gets no sympathy from me and at least his mother will look after him....and boy does she, he is waited on hand and foot.. He is 31 years old by the way not twelve....

OP posts:
clumsymum · 17/01/2008 10:27

You know, when he is all better, and come home, and feels up to jig-a-jigging with you, I'd be tempted to pointing out that it would be illegal for you to have sex with someone SO IMMATURE.

FGS man, grow up !!!

You have my sympathies.

warthog · 17/01/2008 10:31

i'm in shock. i'd tell him not to come home until he's grown up.

hertsnessex · 17/01/2008 10:37

yanbu. it si shocking people are like this.

OrmIrian · 17/01/2008 10:40

I'd be grateful TBH. If your DH is like mine he is totally pathetic when ill and I don't have enough sympathy to play Florence Nightingale to a grown man these days. In fact I might suggest it next time he gets sick.

However I do get your point. More than a little pathetic on his part.

warthog · 17/01/2008 10:40

have you seen him recently to verify his life-threatening illness? absolutely sure it's man-flu?

no excuse of course!

clareyooo · 17/01/2008 10:48

If my DH did that I'd be tempted to never let him home.

Original poster
rosturra · 17/01/2008 11:20

My other is thinking of sending him a get well card!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
rosturra · 17/01/2008 11:21

yes that should read Mother!!!!!!

OP posts:
discoverlife · 17/01/2008 12:31

I am speechless. How? What? Who? Why?

VictorianSqualor · 17/01/2008 12:36

OH MY GOODNESS.
I thoght DP was bad for laying totally still on the sofa for two days with that blasted norovirus, but going to his mothers

Hecate · 17/01/2008 12:41

That is the most pathetic thing I have read in a long time. He went 'home'? HOME?

Er he is a married man. A father. His HOME is with YOU! How bloody dare he?!

So. When you are ill, as a married person with children, you can go to your parents' house until you are recovered?

Right.

When he gets home, have a bag ready. Meet him at the door and say "I have the same illness you have had. I am off to stay with my mother until I am recovered. As you did." And then leave. Stay away for at least 3 days!

sparklesandwine · 17/01/2008 12:51

A. He is a grown man and should be able to look after himself when he is sick!

B. I'd feel extremely insulted by him and his family that he is suggesting that you can't look after him and thats why he has to go to his mothers

C. what the hell is he teaching your DS with this behaviour

D. March round there tell him to get his things and come home and start acting like a fucking man!

MrsPuddleduck · 17/01/2008 12:56

Is this the worst thing he does?

You could always take the stance that if he was at home you would be the one running around after him and still looking after your toddler.

My DH infuriates me taking to his bed at the slightest thing and he never pulls his weight in the night etc regardless of whether he is ill. But, he is a good and loving husband who helps in other ways all the time and adores me and the boys.

There are worst things in the world than running off to your mother imo - like going off to the pub every night and leaving you to it or being a season ticket holder for a football club and going off all the time at weekends.

DaddyJ · 17/01/2008 13:15

When I read your op I guessed your dh might be from a catholic
country that is famous for the stereotypical mummy's boy.
I suppose Ireland is catholic and also starts with an 'I'.

Could be a culture thing, certainly not crime of the century.

Do you find there are benefits to having his family around
and so closely involved in your lives?
Do they also look after you and your dcs in the same way?

If so, I would not worry too much about it and, as willmouse said,
look on the bright side.

Fireflyfairy2 · 17/01/2008 13:18

Excuse me DaddyJ... I am Irish. Married to an only son... & he would be horrified if you thought rosturra's dh epitomised the Irish men!!

soremummy · 17/01/2008 13:42

I am also Irish and none of my brothers would dare run back to mammy to be minded

Fireflyfairy2 · 17/01/2008 13:46

Nor would any of my 3 brothers. In fact I would go so far as to say they would get less sympathy from mammy as they would from their wife! My middle brother's wife is more a mammy than his own is!! She pets his head & strokes his arm... she all but cleans his arse!

beansprout · 17/01/2008 14:01

Wow, this is so poor on his part, it's actually almost impressive. By far the worst bit is that he has left you to deal with a sick child.

What happened to "in sickness and in health"?

VinegarTits · 17/01/2008 14:10

Agree with sparkles, i would get yourself round there and demand that he come home and start acting like a man, or else stay there for good!

helenhismadwife · 17/01/2008 14:50

given the chance I think my MIL would be like this with dh thank god he wouldnt let her.

He had pneumonia just before christmas and was hospitalised for a week and on a drip for 5 days that is ill

mumzyof2 · 17/01/2008 14:52

Manflu is a genuine illness!!! Yes, its really quite serious!
See!

mumzyof2 · 17/01/2008 14:53

Never mind, its all ready been done!

pigleto · 17/01/2008 15:04

not terribly manly really. Tell him he is making it difficult for you to respect him.

Original poster
rosturra · 17/01/2008 15:54

Actually my husband is English!!!!North of England!!! I'm the Irish one!! I have one brother and he is the same age as my hubby and my mother would run him out of town if he did this. I get on very well with my in-laws although they can be very old-fashioned...The men get waited on hand and foot in the family. I find it quite suffocating ...... I don't mind doing things for him but I also believe you need to pick yorself up and get on with it.....My in-laws adore my son and are brilliant with him but he has special needs and they often don't get that either...They expect him to respond like other kids which he can't but I can't fault them on their love because there is plenty of that for him and me. I came here with hubby so that he could spend more time with hubbys side of the family but actually I spend a lot more time on my own than i had anticipated. I feel like hotfooting it back to Ireland!!!!

OP posts:
Pollyanna · 17/01/2008 16:01

I would feel extremely insulted if my dh did this.