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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

am annoyed with hubby as he has manflu and has decamped to his mothers????

91 replies

rosturra · 16/01/2008 22:13

My husband got a cold on Sunday(you would think it was the plague) and as his mother lives 5 mins away he felt it would be okay to go to hers and he has been there since tucked up in bed with all his meals served to him, cups of tea etc....full nights sleep... While I am at home with our son who has a cold,is not in playschool as a result, is cranky and clingy and Im trying to run the whole show here. He says I am being unreasonable as he gets no sympathy from me and at least his mother will look after him....and boy does she, he is waited on hand and foot.. He is 31 years old by the way not twelve....

OP posts:
unknownrebelbang · 17/01/2008 00:24

Don't know who I'd be more cross with tbh.

(love your name BraceyourselfMavis)

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 17/01/2008 00:26

LOL... what a pussy indeed

Somebody posted saying their husband had done this before!! They are a lot of pussies about clearly!!

expatinscotland · 17/01/2008 00:28

He's got a point, though.

How manly is it to run with your cock tucked between your legs to your mummy's when you've got a friggin' cold?

LadyOfTheCauliFlowers · 17/01/2008 00:29

What a plonker!
It sounds like the sort of set up you read in chick-lit.
He needs to geta grip and take responsibility for his own. You best decamp to your mothers next time you are ill!!
I no longer have any sympathy for my DH when he is ill, sod him!
I don't get any from him and still have to get up to the kids all week and all weekend long even when I feel like I am dying.

If DH announced he was going off somewhere to be ill I would go nuts! lol

kittywise · 17/01/2008 01:22

Mr. Kitty writing:
sorry everyone but i stumbled across this whilst drunk. You've got to run the show when you've got ONE child Rosturra? WTF? what do you do with all your spare time? Kitty runs the show whether I'm ill or not, with 6 kids nine and under. Have i missed something obvious here? V. confused.

expatinscotland · 17/01/2008 01:30

dh has had a few, too, Mr. Kitty and just come back from his local on foot.

he still maintains this is pussylike behaviour and giggled that expat would not stand for this .

tyaca · 17/01/2008 01:50

my DH is reading this thread over my shoulder and is getting increasingly disgruntled. but then he has been woken up by a v bad case of the mansh*ts , unfortunatley, his mum won't take him. anyone?

expatinscotland · 17/01/2008 02:11

immodium will take him.

Grrlscout · 17/01/2008 06:40

YANBU - I'm with Fireflyfairy, I couldn't fancy him at all thinking about ickle babywoo and his baba and blanky. Does she tuck him in and have storytime? How many times does she agree to read the book to him before insisting on lights out?

Forget him wanting to do it - why is his mum even entertaining the idea? Granted, I'm just waking up and am on my first cup of coffee, but the idea of his mum agreeing to put her 31-yr old married son with kids of his own in bed with blankywanky is melting my brain. Most mothers limit their post-marriage-of-son coddling to bringing over with favourite foods and gleefully leave the wife to cope with manflu.

milou2 · 17/01/2008 07:23

I think it's the mum who has the problem and can't let her son grow up.

AussieSim · 17/01/2008 07:23

One would normally expect that when a man gets married his wife and children become his base for operations and his mother takes a back seat - so I reckon this scenario is quite backward.

To MrKitty - WTF - you have totally missed the point.

Original poster
rosturra · 17/01/2008 09:31

thanks for all your replies, I knew this was bad behaviour on his part although when I told him to cop himself on and come home he said I was nagging!!!Charming!

OP posts:
SpawnChorus · 17/01/2008 09:39

He's pathetic! And if my DS was expecting me to tend to his cold at the age of 31 I'd be seriously wondering where I went wrong.

mistlethrush · 17/01/2008 09:48

This is just typical of manflu isn't it - in my experience, if I am ill (proper temperature, no appetite, sleep all day...) its my responsibility to get up during the night if ds wakes, get up first thing in the morning to get ds washed, dressed, fed etc so that dh can take him into nursery (dh has been 'reading' [does anyone else's dh take 30mins twice a day to 'read' in the smallest room?] shower and have breakfast.

If he has manflu, I get up in the night. I get up in the morning and get both ds and myself ready to go out etc - apparently its called even distribution of things that need doing, but I can't quite work that out...

Original poster
rosturra · 17/01/2008 09:55

I've just rang his mothers and his father told me" We have just had to put him back to bed, he is so unwell" I said I don't care I want to talk to him.....The sick boy comes on the phone, I tell him to come home and stop being so pathetic and he hung up...

OP posts:
princessosyth · 17/01/2008 10:00

I would pack all his clothes and toys up into a black bag and take them around his mother. Poor you, he sounds like a spoilt child.

dilbertina · 17/01/2008 10:04

ahh yes man flu.....my dh is disgruntled that I do not take his illnesses seriously enough.

A very long evening a couple of years ago when he convinced me, and nearly NHS Direct, and nearly the on-call doctor who phoned... that he was having a heart-attack....he somewhat spoilt this by then burping and making a miraculous recovery - yes, twas trapped wind.

Men. Can't live with them, can't live without...actually sure you could. Let him stay at his mum's forever.

Fireflyfairy2 · 17/01/2008 10:09

How is he today Rosturra?

MrKitty./.. you actually sound proud that you leave your wife to "run the show" whether you are sick or not.. why are your boasting about this? Do you think you're great 'cos you leave it all to your wife?

I agree with whomever said you missed the point, however, if you were married to me & left me to "run the show" on a daily basis you would be missing a lot more.

Original poster
rosturra · 17/01/2008 10:09

I feel quite upset now because he is humiliating me and my son... I mean have you ever heard of anyone behaving like this....It upsets me most because I love my husband but this kind of behaviour is a real turn off...I think he has taken leave of his senses....conveniently..

OP posts:
Fireflyfairy2 · 17/01/2008 10:12

Oh, I missed your last few posts Rosturra.

His dad said they had to put him back to bed???

A few questions:

Is he an only child?

An only son?

Has he did this before?

Is he worried he will pass it on to the baby therefore staying away from him?

Have you spoken to his mam about cutting the apron strings?

Original poster
rosturra · 17/01/2008 10:12

fireflyfairy2, he is still sick and I know he isn't well but if I'm sick I just have to get on with it.. The world cannot stop for me much as I wish it could..... I told him to get up and have a shower and he would feel better but maybe he likes the attention.....

OP posts:
Fireflyfairy2 · 17/01/2008 10:15

Who's idea was it that he went home to mammy?

Actually, doesn't he work? If he does then I would get work to make an inquiry call to see when he was coming back.....

Original poster
rosturra · 17/01/2008 10:16

Actually he is not an only child, although he is the youngest of two.....his mother is a real 1950's housewife, does everything for my FIL and I mean everything so she is delighted to have someone else to look after.....She would think I was unreasonable wanting him to come home and load the dishwasher!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
rosturra · 17/01/2008 10:17

you are gonna love this...He works for his brother and his father who is retired has gone into work in his place..!!! Now even I am squirming writing that!!!

OP posts:
UniversallyChallenged · 17/01/2008 10:18

LOL milliways that is hilarious! Wish i cold send it to all the chaps i know but am a blond woman so cant possible do links though - luckily- i still "run the show" with M.E., under active thyroid, disabled ds, TEENAGERS and working. Am i up to Mr Kitty's standards? Oooh i so hope so!