AIBU to think primary schools are stuck in the 50s?

[Desperado40]

I need to get this off my chest somewhere...maybe I am unreasonable, but my kids' primary school is stuck in another decade. They constantly bombard us with things to attend or assist kids to do at home (and I am not talking spellings here, but proper projects). We both work full time! It is hard enough to organise wrap around childcare and we share as much as possible between us, but I really don't want to be wasting the only family time we have on catching up with projects and homework. We received over 60(!) School emails in the last 4 weeks about various things. I am at my wit's end, there is something to remember to bring or do almost daily. And of course the guilt when I cannot attend every single sports day, market day, school fayre, school concert, parents assembly, wave child off on the 100th school trip... I am afraid that it is all designed for a stay at home parents... I know that working full time, I am in the minority of mums in our school. AIBU to think schools should assume that both parents DO work and be more inclusive?

It's nothing like the 50s, they didn't have internet for a start do no emails. Letters where sent home once a month and adults where never encouraged into school 😆. It's a 2020 thing.

"I think the Covid switchover to apps and emails for communications has allowed schools to send more messages than they would have done previously"

Tbf that works both ways. Parents are used to being able to contact us in different ways and at all times since covid.

Schools don’t help themselves and I’ve worked in a few!

My own DCs’ school has sent 27 emails since the end of May. One of these was at 7:30 this morning to say that even though all DC in a certain year group had been invited to a sporting event today, now half the class weren’t invited, don’t come in your PE kit and for those who were going, the location had changed! Seriously?!

Why it’s so hard to plan in advance and provide a yearly calendar is beyond me. There was an end of term play this week but parents were only told a couple of weeks back. The kids have been working on it for weeks. Why not allow parents the time to book a day off work? Ditto sports day, spread across four days depending on the age of your child, announced a couple of weeks before. The teachers and admin team must have known this a long time ago 🤔

Maybe it’s just me but I’m getting mighty sick of trying to play by the school’s rules when they don’t do anything to make this easy. My DC will always have everything they need, they will do their homework, they will be polite and courteous and turn up on time - BUT - last minute changes, disorganization and pedantic TAs who decided to pick fights with children at the end of term about made up uniform rules don’t make it easy to have a positive home/school relationship.

"My DD is Y6.
This week we have
Monday- School Fayre 1-3pm
Tuesday - Sports Day 11:20 12:30pm
Wednesday - Display of children's photography project-parents invited 12:45pm
Friday- School Leavers assembly - 1:30pm.

It's absolutely ridiculous."

That is ridiculous for one week. Why on Earth cram such big events into one week? And putting events in the middle of the day is particularly annoying too.

"Why it’s so hard to plan in advance and provide a yearly calendar is beyond me."

Have you thought about becoming a governor, or suggesting this?

We do this but things do have to change sometimes.

"The kids have been working on it for weeks. Why not allow parents the time to book a day off work? Ditto sports day, spread across four days depending on the age of your child, announced a couple of weeks before."

It's lovely that these things are back on now though isn't it? Parents and children missed them during covid.

They are lots of work for teachers too, and it is not compulsory that we do them. We are trying to do nice things.

I wonder if communication is a bit later this year because schools haven't done these events for two years and are out of practise!

@justfiveminutes - I’ve done both in my time.

I’ve also suggested that the PTA allow parents to make monthly contributions by direct debit as not every parent can give up their time. Firmly rebuffed. I’ll be glad when the primary school years are over!

@justfiveminutes - it is, but in the corporate (real) world, a tad more forethought would be required. Schools are becoming like the NHS - we should all be so very grateful for what they do, even when the quality is variable and at times, downright appalling. That’s not to say there aren’t shining stars of teachers in and amongst but no one is beyond criticism.

Why it’s so hard to plan in advance and provide a yearly calendar is beyond me. There was an end of term play this week but parents were only told a couple of weeks back. The kids have been working on it for weeks. Why not allow parents the time to book a day off work? Ditto sports day, spread across four days depending on the age of your child, announced a couple of weeks before. The teachers and admin team must have known this a long time ago 🤔

Their priority is delivering the curriculum, which involves lesson planning, marking, report writing and so much other prep, so teachers have to fit the fun stuff around that. So it's better to make the fun stuff moveable. If they set it in stone at the beginning of the year and then had to change it, parents would be far angrier. Spreading sports day over four days would never happen either, because events like that need a higher staff ratio and they'd have to get cover for the classes that weren't taking part and schools simply don't have the budget for that these days.

Sorry, I meant cover from the classes not taking part.

60 emails is crazy! We have a good balance I think at DS’s primary. It’s end of term so more stuff on but in the last 3 weeks we’ve had a school fayre on a Sunday plus no school uniform day in exchange for tombola present. Sports day, I’d say around half the kids had parents there but weren’t especially aware of it! Then a musical for yr 5/6 but that’s Friday night. Not essential for parents to attend - ds is just singing in the chorus so not bothered but I’ll go as I have to drop and collect anyway.

I sympathise but honestly, teachers can’t win. They’re constantly being pushed to make work creative and interesting and exciting and yet now that’s too much effort. The only way children really learn is repeating things at home so homework is definitely important. And yes they are push push pushed on what they are supposed to do. Trust me, they would love to do less. 😂
Just do what you can. Pick and choose and enjoy it.

(when I taught, maybe 10% of the parents did anything)

This exactly. I’ve worked with school parents recently and there’s pretty much a 50/50 split between ‘you ask too much, too many events and parental involvement’ and ‘why don’t you do anything for the children and why aren’t we ever invited in’.

Schools cannot win.

@Youaremysunshine14 - sports days were held on four days actually, but thanks for calling me a liar. If it wouldn’t out me, I’d upload a picture of the school newletter. Believe what you like but there was reception/KS1/lowerKS2/upperKS2, all held on consecutive mornings. Absolute nightmare for anyone with more than one child born more than a couple of years apart.

Ours are also being held over four days, mid morning

I do agree about forethought but we are not corporate entities. We can't put our prices up to employ another person in the office. We are just always expected to do more with less, and most are trying very hard to please hundreds of children and parents who, in a poll, probably wouldn't be able to agree.

We also can't cut our client list or client offer when it all becomes unmanageable, or cull customers who behave like dicks.

We take everyone, and try to please them all. But you can vote with your feet as there must surely be other schools more suited to your needs.

Hear hear.
We are getting two or three emails a day from school atm. It’s ridiculous.

Our primary school is great, I think the teachers do an amazing job in often difficult circumstances, a few emails here and there are easy to deal with

You should have seen the hatred on social media last year when schools didn't allow parents to attend many of the summer events due to COVID. Seems schools can't win

YANBU OP, I hear you. One of my DC goes to a school like this and it drives me crazy.

On top of the ridiculous demands the inability to plan anything more than about 48 hours in advance is slowly sending me around the twist. One more year to go.

Amen OP.
Its madness they need to get in the real world. We also get 5+ emails a week and in the last 4 weeks there’s been 2 school trips, an open afternoon, a prize giving, sports day, 5 non uniform days and a camouflage day! I kid you not. I’m pretty organised but it’s carnage, I forgot ‘home toys’ day last Friday! Worst mother guilt, and work think I’m totally taking the piss! I just keep reminding them it’ll soon be summer and madness will be over. I’m very lucky they are so accommodating!

Schools really can’t win can they OP. Parents moan either way.
At a primary school lots of parents are on maternity or paternity leave or work part time or shifts or grandparents/nannies are carers and can visit. Would you prefer schools to stop all events because some parents work full time?

Would you prefer schools to stop all events because some parents work full time?

@BlackbirdsSinging simple answer. No. I would prefer schools were realistic in what parents can attend, scheduled some activities for early evening, gave realistic notice and streamlined their comms. H2h

"Its madness they need to get in the real world. We also get 5+ emails a week."

So one email a day? I mean, it's a lot but reading one email can't be that much of a responsibility can it? I spend longer than that scrolling crap on my phone. Open the email and put the date in the calendar. Ignore any requests for volunteers. Ignore any events you can't attend. 'Home toy day' sounds easy and fun for the kids. Did you have to pay anything or just remember a toy?