AIBU to think primary schools are stuck in the 50s?

[Desperado40]

I need to get this off my chest somewhere...maybe I am unreasonable, but my kids' primary school is stuck in another decade. They constantly bombard us with things to attend or assist kids to do at home (and I am not talking spellings here, but proper projects). We both work full time! It is hard enough to organise wrap around childcare and we share as much as possible between us, but I really don't want to be wasting the only family time we have on catching up with projects and homework. We received over 60(!) School emails in the last 4 weeks about various things. I am at my wit's end, there is something to remember to bring or do almost daily. And of course the guilt when I cannot attend every single sports day, market day, school fayre, school concert, parents assembly, wave child off on the 100th school trip... I am afraid that it is all designed for a stay at home parents... I know that working full time, I am in the minority of mums in our school. AIBU to think schools should assume that both parents DO work and be more inclusive?

We've tried consolidating emails in the past with weekly newsletters. It triggered numerous complaints.

So the weekly newsletter still stands but with additional reminder emails for the many who 'don't have time to read a newsletter' or don't have the organisational skills to write things on a calendar.

This is the worst time of year for it but the only approach that keeps a shred of my sanity is sitting down and saying “hey kids, I can do 2 of these events, which are most important to you?” And the rest of the time, they know I just can’t take the time off work - or if I do, I’d have even less time left to take to cover the school holidays.

60 emails is insane though - I am thankful for the school’s regularly updated shared Google calendar, and 1 batched email per week.

Just split the stuff to attend/do with your partner if you have one, otherwise it's not the end of the world

Just counted, I got 30 emails from the school in the last month

I have mixed feelings about this.

If a achool has lots of events most parents can make one or some.
If you have one single event, it really notices if you cant go.

I dont think homework is beneficial in general. (Save reading, spellings and tables practice)

YANBU, I work lunchtimes mainly part time and still get to do all the school runs etc but even I get fed up with the amount of stuff that comes through from school so I don't know how those parents who work full time do it tbh. I'm guessing they don't.

60 emails in 4 weeks is harassment

No, we get about one email a week. The kids have been on one school trip in two years. One they could walk to because transport and entrance fees cost too much now. We’ve had one day that parents are allowed to attend this year. Haven’t had to do a single project outside of reading at home. Our schools sound very different.

I went to Primary School in the 60s. Both my parents worked. My mother was a Primary School teacher in fact. Back then we didn't get homework. You think teachers want to set extra work? Your frustration is focused at the wrong target.

I think it’s fair to invite parents without any assumptions or expectation. The mum guilt is just a part of life, I get it, I work FT too and am lucky enough to make it to probably 1/2 of events. We shouldn’t beat ourselves up though.

60 emails in 4 weeks is fucking batshit though! A weekly summary/reminder would absolutely suffice. They’ve probably had precious parents ask for reminders on the day /hour though.

I'm intrigued by the 60 emails. Are they all new information you have to act on or is it 50% stuff like 'its raining, bring a coat'

God I don't have any friends who have one parent not working!!

A few of my friends are part time but the majority are both full time working parents!

My son's school today sent an email about sports day next Wednesday. WTF? There is no way they only just decided when it was. Why not give some notice?

I agree op. Over the next week or so school are expecting me to be there in the afternoon 3 times for various concerts etc. I think it’s actually quite discriminatory towards people in lower paid/ less flexible jobs. I’m luck I can wrangle the time off as am pretty senior but plenty are not able to and miss everything. I feel sorry for those kids.

@arethereanyleftatall are you very rich or very poor? Most families have both parents working

YABU parental involvement is so important and schools will try and do as much as they can to encourage it.

I know it’s hard.
I was a single parent working FT so there were many things I didn’t get to go to and felt so guilty about!
But the primary school days go so fast and once they get to secondary school you’ll miss having the chance to be so involved.

I think there is an assumption in a lot of primary schools that someone will be available during the school day.

That someone might not be a parent but it still isn’t a correct assumption.

I would say it’s the opposite of the 1950s where, I assume, parental involvement was minimal (it certainly was almost non existent in the 60s/70s). It used to drive me insane the amount of emails I got, nearly every day something to remember, I was a sahm and it was still infuriating. If possible choose what you consider important and discard the rest.

Is it that important though? My parents had no involvement with my school other than parents evening and watching the odd school play and reading my school report. They didn’t know my teachers names or anything I was doing - this was normal in the 70s and the standard of my state primary was incredibly high especially when I compare it to all the fluff and nonsense primary schools do now - ridiculous amounts of junk craft making etc which the parents were invited to and other equally inane stuff.

I have two children. The email Comms include any reminders about school events, including in the last 3 weeks: sports day, school fayre, 2 school trips (1 more scheduled next week), school market day, projects reminders, 1 summary email from each teacher per week, pta emails, emails from reception about various things etc. I think it may just be our school, it is mad at the moment!
I don't enjoy this at all. Luckily my DD is leaving for secondary. Year 3 child had two research projects to complete this term which wasted 3 weekends.

Nonsense, we never had homework at primary in the late 80s/early 90s. Homework at secondary was just fine.

I'm a primary school teacher and I always roll my eyes whenever SLT start trying to put on events for parents during the day. Most of the teachers in my school are also parents and they don't give us time off for things like that at our own kids' schools.

I'm with you OP - I work full time and my husband does shift work- it's simply not set up for working parents. I would love to do all the sports days, productions, graduations, assembly's, moving up days, stay and play, summer fayre, carol concerts, look at work afternoons. Huge amount of emails, school fundraising groups asking for a couple of quid a week for something. Its simply not fair for the kids who dont have someone to attend/dont have the money to.

They didn’t know my teachers names or anything I was doing - this was normal in the 70s and the standard of my state primary was incredibly high especially when I compare it to all the fluff and nonsense primary schools do now - ridiculous amounts of junk craft making etc which the parents were invited to and other equally inane stuff.

That seems strange as the 70s and 80s were renowned for poor educational standards. I went to school in the 80s and the only thing I can remember is constantly making things out of cardboard boxes. The curriculum for primary now is completely different. I teach KS1 and have no time for model making - things have swung much too far in the opposite direction.

I do agree that parents didn't come in for many things in those days but then there was no Ofsted tick-box for parental engagement.