Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend didn't give me a discount ....aibu?

386 replies

sofaslofas · 07/07/2022 13:14

My best friend of over 30 years ...her partner works at a well known chain restaurant that isn't the cheapest.
They get 33% staff discount for that restaurant (any in country) and 40% off other restaurants owned by same company.
To use the discount her partner logs into his staff portal and downloads a voucher which is sent to email and you have 24hours to use it.
You can use a discount voucher every day.
Every time it's my birthday she gets him to get one and he forwards it to her and she gets the 40% off my birthday meal.

Tonight I'm taking my partner to this particular restaurant and when she asked what my plans were I told her -and she didn't offer to get me a discount voucher and just said "have fun"
Now it would cost them nothing to get me a discount voucher

I used to work in a department store and every time she came in I made sure to serve her and she got 30% off
This was off beauty /clothes /homeware even a sofa.
So I've saved her a fortune over the years.

Aibu to think it's a bit tight not getting me a voucher?
These vouchers have no names or anything
Literally just a QR code

OP posts:
Strugglingtodomybest · 07/07/2022 16:33

YABU

I don't understand why you didn't just ask her, "any chance of X getting us a voucher for it?"

I think that it is cheeky to just expect a voucher when it's not your friend's voucher to give. Her husband gives her a voucher to use when she goes out, and that might be within the rules. He gives your friend's parents and sisters a voucher, and that may be within the rules. But I highly doubt that he's allowed to give them out to people who are not family.

I think your friend is cheeky for using a voucher when she takes you out for a birthday meal, but not for her own. I hope that you choose a restaurant that costs the same after the discount as the one she takes you to.

Octomore · 07/07/2022 16:34

Meraas · 07/07/2022 16:32

But that doesn't mean she thinks the chain won't know the QR was issued to their employee. It just means that in any restaurant this chain has, they won't be able to see who the QR was issued to when looking at the voucher.

Everyone seems to be ignoring that the OP's friend's sister and parents have been able to use the codes with no issues.

Show quote history

Maybe the sister/parents were using the voucher at times that didn't conflict with her shifts?

And maybe the OP's meal does conflict with her shift.

It won't be the slightest bit difficult for the employer to check this stuff automatically.

chilledbubble · 07/07/2022 16:35

Ah don't worry about it, you were going to go anyway right? So the food and staff are worth full price to you. I'd you were only going there coz you thought you could blag a discount then shame on you.

chilledbubble · 07/07/2022 16:36

Playingchesswithpigeons · 07/07/2022 14:52

Just text her, rather than call. You still have time ...
" Hiya, oops, I forgot to ask when we spoke, would you have a voucher for our special meal tonight?"
Her reply will confirm she's either a cotton headed ninnymuggins & just didn't think OR you will no longer offer EVER a discount/perk or favour again.

Don't do that! She knows you know she knows and she hasn't offered.

Meraas · 07/07/2022 16:38

Octomore · 07/07/2022 16:34

Maybe the sister/parents were using the voucher at times that didn't conflict with her shifts?

And maybe the OP's meal does conflict with her shift.

It won't be the slightest bit difficult for the employer to check this stuff automatically.

Show quote history

The friend doesn't work at the restaurant.

chilledbubble · 07/07/2022 16:39

Maybe her boyfriend is fed up of her asking

howdoesatoastermaketoast · 07/07/2022 16:41

Bigboysmademedoit · 07/07/2022 13:54

This

Show quote history

Totally this - it also seems to be OP's choice to just go with dh not friend despite the fact that, if I'm understanding correctly, your friend usually buys you a meal on your birthday.

She'd be forgiven for being a bit off with you imho but I can't imagine anyone thinking that the bill and money off vouchers would be a thing she should concern herself with. Sorry OP but that's a yup from me YABU.

ChinnyTroubles · 07/07/2022 16:42

She sounds selfish on the face of it. But why dont you just ask her outright?

Bertieboo82 · 07/07/2022 16:42

Perhaps the friend has got the long and short of the OP that the Op is one of those people that if she does something for you, my goodness - you have to repay (even if not yours to pass on) or the OP will not be happy

Pollydonia · 07/07/2022 16:43

I've had this when both of my DC's had Saturday jobs, one in Maccies and one in Argos.
It was lovely to be given a free pumpkin latte for picking DS up and DD was more than happy to use her 10% discount on a new family TV, but, oh my god, the amount of my " friends" who thought it was non stop free food or discounts for THEM.
Christmas was a fucking nightmare for DD with people I knew contacting HER directly. Staff discount was for the staff member. Her boss was ok with the TV because it was for a 17yo living at home.

chilledbubble · 07/07/2022 16:44

Pollydonia · 07/07/2022 16:43

I've had this when both of my DC's had Saturday jobs, one in Maccies and one in Argos.
It was lovely to be given a free pumpkin latte for picking DS up and DD was more than happy to use her 10% discount on a new family TV, but, oh my god, the amount of my " friends" who thought it was non stop free food or discounts for THEM.
Christmas was a fucking nightmare for DD with people I knew contacting HER directly. Staff discount was for the staff member. Her boss was ok with the TV because it was for a 17yo living at home.

Yes its awful isn't it. They don't get its for genuine family & friends not anyone who's cheeky enough to ask.

Bertieboo82 · 07/07/2022 16:44

sofaslofas · 07/07/2022 13:45

Yeah I sound like such a terrible friend saving her hundreds of pounds over the years .....yet she can't return the favour
Yes dreadful

No way would your company allow this if they knew you were giving friends 30% off

Bertieboo82 · 07/07/2022 16:45

Pollydonia · 07/07/2022 16:43

I've had this when both of my DC's had Saturday jobs, one in Maccies and one in Argos.
It was lovely to be given a free pumpkin latte for picking DS up and DD was more than happy to use her 10% discount on a new family TV, but, oh my god, the amount of my " friends" who thought it was non stop free food or discounts for THEM.
Christmas was a fucking nightmare for DD with people I knew contacting HER directly. Staff discount was for the staff member. Her boss was ok with the TV because it was for a 17yo living at home.

Your friends were clambering over themselves to get a free hot drink from Mac Donald’s?

You need new friends

Bertieboo82 · 07/07/2022 16:46

Not even free

30% off!

FrogsAreMean · 07/07/2022 16:50

If you can't afford to take your partner out, stay in!

Amethystbluexo · 07/07/2022 16:53

OP seems to have left in a strop since majority are not agreeing with her. You sound very grabby and entitled tbh. If you can’t afford that food place then just go somewhere else ffs. Who cares if you saved her “hundreds” on a sofa, clearly wasn’t out the kindness of the friendship if you’re whining about her online about so called favours you think you’re entitled too.

Pollydonia · 07/07/2022 16:53

Bertieboo82 · 07/07/2022 16:45

Your friends were clambering over themselves to get a free hot drink from Mac Donald’s?

You need new friends

Show quote history

If it was just free drinks it wouldn't have been so bad, one now ex friend waited until DS was on the till, ordered food for a family of 5 then somehow thought she wouldn't be charged. Fortunately DS is a lot tougher than his sister and told her to jog on. Hence her being an ex friend 😄

lickenchugget · 07/07/2022 16:58

Did you book it with the expectation she’d give you a voucher?

beautyisthefaceisee · 07/07/2022 17:03

Did you pick the restaurant assuming shed do this?

Bertieboo82 · 07/07/2022 17:07

The sad thing it

someone like the op will likely spread this around all their joint friends

i imagine a friend coming to the OP’s where she works, the op using her discount and then spending 20 mins bitching about the woman who didn’t give you her partner’s discount to use without either of them actually present

Mamapep · 07/07/2022 17:08

YABVU.

PatchworkElmer · 07/07/2022 17:12

Ok, so a few points here


  • You haven’t actually asked her!!

  • There could have been a policy change/ clamp down. This happened when I worked at a supermarket.

  • It’s not her perk to give out, it’s her husband’s.


You’re being ridiculous.

WingingItSince1973 · 07/07/2022 17:13

Chilmark79 · 07/07/2022 14:34

I have to admit I’m a bit shocked on behalf of these businesses that you and friends or family expect to be able to enjoy large discounts to which you are not entitled. 30% discounts are likely to incur losses to the business, which is accepted by them as an employee perk but why should they subsidise non-employees? The £000s you’ve saved each other could equally be viewed as £000s misappropriated from your employer. YABVU.

Absolutely this. Just what I was thinking. Where does it end?

Thefriendlymoth · 07/07/2022 17:18

Wow. You sound really petty and entitled OP. You make snide comments about her “savings” on your birthday meal/having to go to places where she can used her discount and you having to pay full price when you take her out for her birthday. You keep touting your own incredible generosity about a staff discount you presumably shared a while ago. You seem to know an awful lot about the ins and outs of this discount but it could have recently changed or she may have legitimate reason for not offering OR she plain just forgot. If you take the hump after 30 years of friendship over her not sharing a discount code, that incidentally isn’t even hers to share, you need to give your head a serious wobble!

ThirtyThreeTrees · 07/07/2022 17:23

I can't believe this is real!

  1. It's not her discount to give anyone
  2. It's her partners
  3. You didn't even ask
  4. She has been generous previously
  5. She is under no obligation to give you anything
  6. You don't know if company policy has changed
  7. Your assumption that the vouchers can't be traced is most likely wrong
  8. This is the problem with cheeky people - you give them an inch,they expect a mile
  9. Your choices with your discount are yours, her partners are his
10. She is your friend and you are butchering a out her when she has done nothing wrong
Swipe left for the next trending thread