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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend didn't give me a discount ....aibu?

386 replies

sofaslofas · 07/07/2022 13:14

My best friend of over 30 years ...her partner works at a well known chain restaurant that isn't the cheapest.
They get 33% staff discount for that restaurant (any in country) and 40% off other restaurants owned by same company.
To use the discount her partner logs into his staff portal and downloads a voucher which is sent to email and you have 24hours to use it.
You can use a discount voucher every day.
Every time it's my birthday she gets him to get one and he forwards it to her and she gets the 40% off my birthday meal.

Tonight I'm taking my partner to this particular restaurant and when she asked what my plans were I told her -and she didn't offer to get me a discount voucher and just said "have fun"
Now it would cost them nothing to get me a discount voucher

I used to work in a department store and every time she came in I made sure to serve her and she got 30% off
This was off beauty /clothes /homeware even a sofa.
So I've saved her a fortune over the years.

Aibu to think it's a bit tight not getting me a voucher?
These vouchers have no names or anything
Literally just a QR code

OP posts:
KarmaStar · 08/07/2022 22:52

It's cheeky of you to expect this by saying you are going and waiting for her to jump in with getting you a voucher imho.
Your friend was nbu.
I hope you enjoyed your birthday regardless.

Bunnyfuller · 08/07/2022 22:55

YABU and very CF

teddysgal · 08/07/2022 22:57

If you missed it, so did I. OPs friend's spouse gets the code and let's his spouse use sometimes. OP's friend is there at the restaurant with OP to use the code. Now if OP's friend was attending the dinner with OP and her partner, the friend may be able to get coupon from her spouse.

QuestionableMouse · 08/07/2022 22:58

Poster - aibu?

Replies - Yes, very!

Poster - no I'm not!

🙄

smallfluffy · 08/07/2022 23:04

sofaslofas · 07/07/2022 13:36

@IncompleteSenten she pays for my birthday meal
I pay for her birthday meal-she's the one who saves the money not me

Then that explains it, she is using it for herself she doesn't actually give you a voucher for your birthday, she is taking you out and using her partners discount. It's completely different

teddysgal · 08/07/2022 23:23

Exactly 💯

teddysgal · 08/07/2022 23:32

OP's friend is with OP when friend uses voucher. It is the friend's husband that works at restaurant and husband can give to wife to use. OP's friend is there when using coupon. For OP: QR codes do contain information. She gets QR code for her use, not to hand out to other people. He may be able to use for immediate family members.

teddysgal · 08/07/2022 23:33

QR codes do contain information. They aren't just pictures.

Pinkbuttons08 · 08/07/2022 23:35

I understand that the vouchers can't be tracked, but would other staff working in the restaurant not notice and potentially raise an issue if your friend ie the actual staff weren't also at the meal?

teddysgal · 08/07/2022 23:37

She doesn't even download them, her spouse that works at restaurant does. OP's friend is with OP when voucher has been used before. I doubt she can get her husband's voucher for friends when she is not attending and paying the bill.

teddysgal · 08/07/2022 23:43

Exactly. "Whenever SHE goes out" NOT when YOU go out without her.

teddysgal · 08/07/2022 23:48

Exactly. OP's friend would have to be going to dinner with her and use the voucher and probably be the one paying the bill.

teddysgal · 08/07/2022 23:50

💯!

Moonchild18 · 08/07/2022 23:59

sofaslofas · 07/07/2022 13:17

Well her partner gives them out to her to use whenever she does anywhere.
They can use 1 every 24 hours

Perhaps they've already used one on that day?

Fraaahnces · 09/07/2022 00:01

You said your friend has been asking you for your code for years… Did you ASK her for hers or just wait for it to be offered? I imagine if you had asked, and there were valid reasons why it couldn’t be used by you, you would have found out during that conversation.

UniversalAunt · 09/07/2022 00:47

‘To use the discount her partner logs into his staff portal’

Eh?

Employee access to company system is for employee use only. Does her DH know that she has unauthorised access to his employee account?

Sharing or insufficient control passwords to facilitate unauthorised access is a instant dismissible offence in my firm & criminal charges may follow.

OP, could be your friend’s DH has wised up & she no longer has easy access to the staff portal.

NumberTheory · 09/07/2022 00:59

sofaslofas · 07/07/2022 13:45

Yeah I sound like such a terrible friend saving her hundreds of pounds over the years .....yet she can't return the favour
Yes dreadful

You sound like a terrible friend because you all her your best friend and on one occasion when she hasn't done what you expected of her - even though she's never done it before and you haven't given her a heads up you'd like it - you don't ask her about it you come on here and call her tight.

Maybe she's your best friend and just loves the idea you're spending money she could have saved you? She's gone home and she'll spend the evening with her partner sniggering over sofaslofas not getting a discount? Hmm Doesn't really sound likely does it?

Or maybe she's not used to thinking about it and it just didn't register, or the terms and conditions are different, or her partner's become a complete PITA about her asking for them, or they'd already handed one out to another friend, or there was no good way to get one to you.

You keep using your discount for her. But this isn't her discount, it's her partner's. The examples you give of it being used are only him and family. So it may be he isn't allowed to give them to friends. They may just be a QR code but that doesn't mean there aren't terms and conditions attached that he has to stick to. But even if that's not the case, they still aren't your friend's codes to give out so it is a distinct step different from your own generosity towards her with your discount.

NumberTheory · 09/07/2022 01:00

*call her your best friend.

user772263 · 09/07/2022 01:12

Honestly you seem ridiculously entitled. Why the hell would you expect your friend to give you a voucher? If you plan a meal, plan it expecting to pay full price. If she offers you a voucher, great! But you shouldn’t be booking meals expecting her to cop you 30% off. How do you know she hasn’t already promised the voucher to another friend on that day, or perhaps her partner has been told to stop giving them out? You never know what the situation is so to expect her to give you a voucher just for the hell of it is ridiculously entitled.

Mirw · 09/07/2022 01:52

You can't buy friendship! And it is often the case that staff who spread their discount about get sacked. It could be her partner has been told no-one gets vouchers apart from immediate family. And you ain't. Get over it. If you can't afford it, go somewhere cheaper. Unless it was a huge birthday or an anniversary, who pays £120 for a meal for 2 when it is 2 courses and a drink. Rip off!!!

tomatopsste · 09/07/2022 02:20

I can't believe this swapping of vouchers that are meant for staff is allowed. My DS used to work for Sainsburys and giving discount to anyone not living at the same address was a sackable offence!

Julz1969 · 09/07/2022 03:24

you are nether her sister or her parents

teddysgal · 09/07/2022 03:38

UniversalAunt · Today 00:47

‘To use the discount her partner logs into his staff portal’

Eh?

Employee access to company system is for employee use only. Does her DH know that she has unauthorised access to his employee account?

Sharing or insufficient control passwords to facilitate unauthorised access is a instant dismissible offence in my firm & criminal charges may follow.

OP, could be your friend’s DH has wised up & she no longer has easy access to the staff portal.

OP's friend isn't accessing the portal, the friend's partner ( who works at the restaurant) is accessing and downloading for his spouse to use when she goes out. OP's friend has been with OP when voucher has been used. Safe to say that the friend or friend's partner has to be there and has to be the one using the voucher and paying. I doubt she can just pass along a voucher to a friend to use when she is not present. Parents and sisters are immediate family, so they are probably authorized like the spouse.

DGay · 09/07/2022 05:12

OP says it's just a qr code and no name on it. OP - QR codes are a type of barcode, or scannable pattern, that contain various forms of data, like website links, account information, phone numbers, or even coupons.

Account information i.e. Information on the employee that works at restaurant or even approved family members that can use voucher.

newnamethanks · 09/07/2022 06:18

Ha ha. This reminds me of my favouriten AIBU from last year. Poster was invited to CF friends for barbecue. Lovely thanks. Oh, we don't have a barbecue can you bring yours? It got worse. It was hilarious.

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