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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend didn't give me a discount ....aibu?

386 replies

sofaslofas · 07/07/2022 13:14

My best friend of over 30 years ...her partner works at a well known chain restaurant that isn't the cheapest.
They get 33% staff discount for that restaurant (any in country) and 40% off other restaurants owned by same company.
To use the discount her partner logs into his staff portal and downloads a voucher which is sent to email and you have 24hours to use it.
You can use a discount voucher every day.
Every time it's my birthday she gets him to get one and he forwards it to her and she gets the 40% off my birthday meal.

Tonight I'm taking my partner to this particular restaurant and when she asked what my plans were I told her -and she didn't offer to get me a discount voucher and just said "have fun"
Now it would cost them nothing to get me a discount voucher

I used to work in a department store and every time she came in I made sure to serve her and she got 30% off
This was off beauty /clothes /homeware even a sofa.
So I've saved her a fortune over the years.

Aibu to think it's a bit tight not getting me a voucher?
These vouchers have no names or anything
Literally just a QR code

OP posts:
HaveringWavering · 08/07/2022 20:12

Her friend and her partner.

CactusBlossom · 08/07/2022 20:25

Perhaps they used it already for today?
Perhaps they had given one to someone else?
Perhaps the regulations for issuing them have been tightened?
It may be that guidance has been given that they are not expected to use them every day, the vouchers are no longer available on a daily basis, the vouchers have been withdrawn...
Maybe her partner has day off / is away / off sick?
Maybe she had a disagreement with her partner?

Did you actually ask her for a voucher? If not, she might not have thought of it until later.

Try to think about your friendship in terms other than how much you could have saved on a meal, or how much you have saved her in the past.

onlythreenow · 08/07/2022 20:36

YABU. You are not staff, nor are you a relative of staff. There is a big difference between giving vouchers to family and to a friend of a spouse. It sounds like you value people according to what they can do for you, rather than their friendship.

LoisLane66 · 08/07/2022 20:42

My friend was a manager within the Macdonald Hotel Group and used to get rooms and breakfast costing £10 for family only.
I was her 'mother' on numerous occasions and stayed in some fabulous places throughout the UK. 😂

88cheryl88 · 08/07/2022 20:44

Well if she’s that good of a friend why didn’t you just ask her. I’d be asking my friends. And just for the record your the CF.

blubirdi · 08/07/2022 20:50

I think you’re being very unreasonable, but also because you ask a question on here and when you don’t get the responses you want you don’t like it.

ChristinaXYZ · 08/07/2022 20:55

sofaslofas · 07/07/2022 13:23

The vouchers have no name
Just a QR code
There's no way for them to know if it was him,his partner or mr blobby using the voucher

How do you know what data is in the QR code? Data stored in a QR code can include website URLs or up to 4,000 characters of text. So it could say his name or Mr Blobby's for that matter and you'd never know. I think you are being really unreasonable!

whalebaby · 08/07/2022 20:58

I used to get staff discount at a retail store, we could only use our discount for immediate family. No cousins, in laws or friends. Disciplinary and I’ve witnessed a few dismissals when people have allowed their friends to use it. It’s also discreet, card numbers not traced just an employee card, no photo id. I wouldn’t risk my job over it and really irritated me when people would offer my discount to other people. It’s small and easy to do but extra admin I don’t want to do and a risk to my job I’m not willing to take.

Grumpybird · 08/07/2022 20:59

Maybe the company rules have changed and there’s a limited amount of times the discount can be used and yes you are a CF

Changechangychange · 08/07/2022 21:21

Meraas · 07/07/2022 14:21

OP is still a lot better than a lot of people on this thread.

She has been called some absolutely awful things.

I hope she hides this thread.

Show quote history

Name change?

whumpthereitis · 08/07/2022 21:29

The data is in the QR code. My friend works for a similar chain and she’s given a monthly discount code. When scanned it brings up her name.

Was be at work when you were at dinner? Because him being in one place while his voucher is being used elsewhere is a blatant tell. They may already have used it today, and/or the staff may know him and wonder why a stranger has his discount code.

He’s likely given it for her to use when she’s out, which is a different thing entirely to her handing it out to friends. He would be at serious risk of losing his job if he was caught as a result of you using it. Presumably you would be too, but it’s your choice to take the risk. She would be wrong to make that decision on his behalf.

WhimsicalGubbins · 08/07/2022 21:35

I’m not sure what you were expecting with that kind of question on here. You sound incredibly entitled.
let’s just get this into perspective, you’re getting wound up because your friends other half isn’t offering you discount vouchers. Why should he?? He’s not your friend of 30 years, he’s not the one you’ve given discount to. The fact that he gives the voucher to his family and his girlfriends family is not remotely any of your business. Your friend isn’t doing anything wrong-they’re not her vouchers.
And if your friend happens to be a mumsnet user, I’m willing to bet she won’t be your friend much longer if she reads this-she will 100% recognise the people you’re talking about

SurpriseSurprise · 08/07/2022 21:45

Why didn’t you just ask her for one!

teddysgal · 08/07/2022 21:47

Guess she has never scanned a QR code for anything. They can contain any information the QR is programmed for.

Lilyisknittinh · 08/07/2022 21:52

There’s got to be a lesson learned here! As is in life - never expect

Londoncallingme · 08/07/2022 22:06

I doubt they are allowed to do that if they are not eating - just as you should not have give. Her 30% off of her shopping - the discount is for staff only, it’s stealing and your friend was not bu.

saleorbouy · 08/07/2022 22:08

I expect now margins are getting tighter businesses are cracking down on the use of perks to only employees.
You should not expect the discount but obviously it's ice of it's able to still be offered.
I wouldn't get the hump about it though!

Longleggedgiraffe · 08/07/2022 22:10

YABU. It's her boyfriend's discount an you don't have an automatic right to it. She may have produced one before, but she doesn't have to produce one just when you want one. If you booked the restaurant expecting to be given a voucher, you have a bit of a cheek.

Kgiggl3s · 08/07/2022 22:15

This is the kind of thing I'd just ask my closest mates and they'd just ask me. However I wouldn't ask my general mates. Maybe you aren't that close? I can't understand why you wouldn't just say 'oh we are going to x restaurant don't suppose you can sort a code for me, don't worry if not.' Bizzare. It's not being a CF, you are friends, no?

Mandyjack · 08/07/2022 22:20

I can imagine they have a lot of friends and family who probably also want codes of them. It's rude to expect one IMO

StaryEyes1978 · 08/07/2022 22:44

Did you consider that maybe she is already using the a voucher in this particular 24 hour period so doesn’t have one to give you?

expat101 · 08/07/2022 22:45

From a business owners point of view and in consideration of how the last couple of years has been for the hospitality industry, I would be mightily pissed off if I walked into one of my restaurants and found non employees using my staffs discount coupons.

that’s an absolute no no un,ess the staff member is also dining at the same table.

Meraas · 08/07/2022 22:48

Changechangychange · 08/07/2022 21:21

Name change?

Show quote history

How tedious. Anyone with an alternative view must be the OP. 🙄

Also hilarious how deluded people are thinking OP will return to this pile on.

Herewegoagain1278 · 08/07/2022 22:49

She might offer you it now as this story is now in the mirror

teddysgal · 08/07/2022 22:52

Nope you didn't miss anything.

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