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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Colleague wasting my entire 30 minute lunch break :-S

178 replies

janeve · 07/07/2022 11:49

There's a lady in my workplace who regularly comes to sit in my office (I eat lunch at my desk whilst catching with social emails or reading the news etc).
I don't have any issue with her at all but she just talks "at" me rather than to me IYSWIM.
Talks endlessly about her cats, and I'm not the slightest bit interested. Stops me getting on with doing my own thing whilst having my lunch break. I prefer to just relax quietly at my desk, read news or phone my husband.
WWYD?

OP posts:
SatinHeart · 07/07/2022 11:53

There's a lady in my workplace who regularly comes to sit in my office

I'm not totally clear on this - does she just turn up around your lunchtime or is she in your office all day?

If she just turns up around your lunch break, can you take your lunch at a time when she's not there?

Do you have a phone headset? I'd put my headset on and fake a zoom call if I didn't want to talk to her.

BeetyAxe · 07/07/2022 11:55

She’s not wasting it you are. Tell her you want quiet time during lunch and don’t want to chat. Keep telling her then ignoring her till she gets the picture.

steviewiththecankles · 07/07/2022 11:55

Can you just say you’d like a bit of quiet? If you need an excuse say you’ve a lot going on in your life atm and this is your only quiet time.

redhearts · 07/07/2022 11:57

Yeah you somehow need to excuse yourself as you have some personal / life admin to catch up on over lunch

ItsSnowJokes · 07/07/2022 11:58

This is why I sit in my car at lunchtime. It is my time. I don't get laid for it so I take myself off so I don't have to see anyone.

xogossipgirlxo · 07/07/2022 11:59

I don't know what to tell you, but I've been there. I was eating lunch and my work colleague was showing me all sorts of videos on these facebook fanpages like quick recipes, DIY, people dancing, kids falling over etc. Nightmare.

Meraas · 07/07/2022 12:00

Best bet is to be direct and say you have a short lunch break and won't be able to chat, every time she does this.

If you don't want to be direct, just put on your headphones and say you're on a call.

SmashingEgg · 07/07/2022 12:01

Just tell her that you want to eat in peace and to go bother someone else.

10HailMarys · 07/07/2022 12:01

OK, massive sympathy here because this would drive me insane.

When you say 'comes to sit in my office' do you mean that you have a private office of your own? Or when you say 'my office' do you mean it's an office where there's a few of you and it's always you she comes to chat to?

If it's the former, I would shut my office door and maybe even hang a little 'sorry, busy right now!' sign on it while you're having lunch. If it's the latter it's obviously more difficult ... I find headphones are quite handy for making it clear you don't want to talk, even if you're not listening to anything.

Winterfellismyhome · 07/07/2022 12:02

I always put my headphones on when i have breaks. Have a colleague who chats incessantly.

ilovesooty · 07/07/2022 12:03

Just tell her. What's so difficult about saying you have things to get on with or want some quiet time? It's really rude to interrupt someone's lunch.

ShirleyPhallus · 07/07/2022 12:04

YABU to spend lunch breaks phoning your husband

BackToTheTop · 07/07/2022 12:04

This would drive me bonkers. Just say 'sorry Mary, I'm just on my lunch break and need to catch up on this' and look towards your computer. Hopefully she'll get the hint and sod off.

Meraas · 07/07/2022 12:05

ShirleyPhallus · 07/07/2022 12:04

YABU to spend lunch breaks phoning your husband

Why? Confused

HailAdrian · 07/07/2022 12:05

I fucking HATE it when people hover around me trying to have a conversation while I'm eating. A guy I work with actually makes comments like 'you inhaled that, didn't you?' And 'I thought you were eating healthy?' When I eat anything that isn't a vegetable. So, wanna swap annoying colleagues?

Heretochill · 07/07/2022 12:06

Put earphones in and say you’re listening to a podcast (even if you’re not) - works every time!

FlipFlopShopInHawaii · 07/07/2022 12:06

I read this as you're in an office on your own; in which case close your door and put on headphones.

Mary46 · 07/07/2022 12:06

I used go to my car too or bring my runners for quick walk. Op be blunt like my colleague she used lock the door!! Or she go for a run.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 07/07/2022 12:07

Is your office solely yours? Not a communal one?

LoobyDop · 07/07/2022 12:07

Leave the office to have your lunch.

Whatsthestoryboringglory · 07/07/2022 12:08

Headphones.

Curiosity101 · 07/07/2022 12:10

I agree with putting headphones on at lunch and telling her you're busy. Personally, I'd use an excuse like "I'd love to chat but I'm just doing some training" or something like that, rather than pretending you're on a call as a call isn't normally 1 sided.

Have some TED talks open in the background or some sort of work/official-looking tutorial.

If you're busy often enough then she'll stop trying eventually.

girlmom21 · 07/07/2022 12:11

Leave the office for lunch if you don't want colleagues talking to you.

NewPapaGuinea · 07/07/2022 12:12

Headphones or leave the office for lunch.

BeyondMyWits · 07/07/2022 12:15

Claim your time, claim your space. Don't faff about making excuses and saying "sorry, but...".

Your downtime is valuable, just be direct and say that.

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