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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Colleague wasting my entire 30 minute lunch break :-S

178 replies

janeve · 07/07/2022 11:49

There's a lady in my workplace who regularly comes to sit in my office (I eat lunch at my desk whilst catching with social emails or reading the news etc).
I don't have any issue with her at all but she just talks "at" me rather than to me IYSWIM.
Talks endlessly about her cats, and I'm not the slightest bit interested. Stops me getting on with doing my own thing whilst having my lunch break. I prefer to just relax quietly at my desk, read news or phone my husband.
WWYD?

OP posts:
10HailMarys · 07/07/2022 12:16

ShirleyPhallus · 07/07/2022 12:04

YABU to spend lunch breaks phoning your husband

Why? It's her lunch break; she can do what she likes.

WhenDovesFly · 07/07/2022 12:17

Laminate a sign like this and either hang it on your closed door (if it's a private office), or stand it up on your desk so it's very visible.

Colleague wasting my entire 30 minute lunch break :-S
ZealAndArdour · 07/07/2022 12:20

I hate when my chirpy scout leader-esque colleagues come on lunch at the same time as me and make endless redundant small talk while I just want to sit and be a scowling misanthrope who eats sandwiches in silence.

Talia99 · 07/07/2022 12:21

It sounds to me like she thinks the two of you are friends who have your lunch hour / half hour together for a ‘nice chat’.

I would hate this myself but unless you want to be completely blunt (‘we aren’t friends, Susan, stop bothering me at lunch time’) I think leaving the office (at least for a week or so until she’s broken the habit) may be the best course.

Kenneldogsrock · 07/07/2022 12:21

Is your office private with a door? If so, lock the door when you have your lunch.

HannahSternDefoe · 07/07/2022 12:21

Just stand up and walk away.
Every day.

SexyLittleNosferatu · 07/07/2022 12:21

I have one of these. You can't breathe near her when it's her lunch, but when it's mine it's look at this photo, look at this recipe, weather looks good tomorrow. FUCK OFF.

MsOllie · 07/07/2022 12:22

ZealAndArdour · 07/07/2022 12:20

I hate when my chirpy scout leader-esque colleagues come on lunch at the same time as me and make endless redundant small talk while I just want to sit and be a scowling misanthrope who eats sandwiches in silence.

Are you watching me? Grin

I end up saying sorry I speak on the phone all day, I just want to sit in silence for a bit. Thanks

MaggieFS · 07/07/2022 12:22

Is it your sole office? Surely you just say 'I'm sorry I have something I need to do' and if she still doesn't get it 'please can you leave as I really need to do this thing'.

Beamur · 07/07/2022 12:23

Eat your lunch elsewhere for a few days to break the habit.
I suspect she thinks you're friends too.

FetchezLaVache · 07/07/2022 12:23

Talia99 · 07/07/2022 12:21

It sounds to me like she thinks the two of you are friends who have your lunch hour / half hour together for a ‘nice chat’.

I would hate this myself but unless you want to be completely blunt (‘we aren’t friends, Susan, stop bothering me at lunch time’) I think leaving the office (at least for a week or so until she’s broken the habit) may be the best course.

I came on to say exactly this.

It's good weather, if you can't bring yourself to tell her you don't want to chat then go and find a bench somewhere for the next week or so. She'll have found another lunch buddy by then!

HangOnToYourself · 07/07/2022 12:23

HailAdrian · 07/07/2022 12:05

I fucking HATE it when people hover around me trying to have a conversation while I'm eating. A guy I work with actually makes comments like 'you inhaled that, didn't you?' And 'I thought you were eating healthy?' When I eat anything that isn't a vegetable. So, wanna swap annoying colleagues?

Oh god these types are the WORST. Always find themselves absolutely hilarious as well.

ChagSameachDoreen · 07/07/2022 12:24

I don't understand why you wouldn't just say you wanted some time to yourself.

JuneOsborne · 07/07/2022 12:24

@WhenDovesFly this exactly the sign that colleagues used in an office I worked in once. It came out at lunchtimes and went on the desk (folded like a greeting card so it was free standing). When I started I remembered thinking how great! Other people seemed to hate it.

Now I know who the people were that disturbed other people's lunch breaks, and who the people were who were sick of being disturbed on their lunch breaks!

DogsAndGin · 07/07/2022 12:26

You don’t have to leave your own office - that’s going to waste 10 mins of your 30 min lunch!

Just say as soon as she comes in, ‘I was just going to read my book for 30 mins’, or whatever it is you’d rather do. I say this, it’s respected and I still have good friends at work. They just know I like to read 🤷🏼‍♀️ it’s really not a problem

IncompleteSenten · 07/07/2022 12:26

Leave your office for lunch.
It's the only way to break the habit without telling her to leave you alone.

Bertieboo82 · 07/07/2022 12:28

No drama no rudeness

just

”love talking to you but my half hour lunch is my chance to just eat and have some time to myself”

Trivester · 07/07/2022 12:30

I had a disciplinary in my first job for not socialising at lunch as it was an important part of the company culture Hmm

Hanswurst · 07/07/2022 12:31

This would drive me fucking insane. I detest people who talk at you, like you are some sort of waiting vessel for them to pour the entire content of their brain into, regardless of whether you want to receive it! And it’s 100x worse when this happens during your break when you just want peace and quiet!

MissStarry · 07/07/2022 12:31

ItsSnowJokes · 07/07/2022 11:58

This is why I sit in my car at lunchtime. It is my time. I don't get laid for it so I take myself off so I don't have to see anyone.

This is also what I used to do before I started wfh a decade ago with supermarket sushi and a magazine.

I thought it was probably a bit strange and anti-social as I did it, but didn’t care enough to sit in the canteen/office instead. I would always take the full hour as well 😆

DdraigGoch · 07/07/2022 12:32

Take a tip from the French and stop eating at your desk.

FunDragon · 07/07/2022 12:35

xogossipgirlxo · 07/07/2022 11:59

I don't know what to tell you, but I've been there. I was eating lunch and my work colleague was showing me all sorts of videos on these facebook fanpages like quick recipes, DIY, people dancing, kids falling over etc. Nightmare.

OH MY GOD. Video people. I have one of those at my work (although from the sounds of it mine isn’t as bad as yours).

They are the absolute worst.

Bertieboo82 · 07/07/2022 12:38

Op she isn’t wasting your lunch break

you are by not pleasantly saying that your lunch break is your one opp to eat and have downtime

Thehop · 07/07/2022 12:39

Wearing a headset is a good idea.

or

“you’ll have to excuse me today I’ve got some jobs to do on the phone” a few times.

Bertieboo82 · 07/07/2022 12:40

Trivester · 07/07/2022 12:30

I had a disciplinary in my first job for not socialising at lunch as it was an important part of the company culture Hmm

A formal disciplinary with HR involved for not having lunch with colleagues?