Colleague wasting my entire 30 minute lunch break :-S

[janeve]

There's a lady in my workplace who regularly comes to sit in my office (I eat lunch at my desk whilst catching with social emails or reading the news etc).
I don't have any issue with her at all but she just talks "at" me rather than to me IYSWIM.
Talks endlessly about her cats, and I'm not the slightest bit interested. Stops me getting on with doing my own thing whilst having my lunch break. I prefer to just relax quietly at my desk, read news or phone my husband.
WWYD?

Just been watched whilst I am eating would put me off. But 30 mins of monologue whilst having lunch (guess she thinks you are eating so can't reply) is just rude. Either close the office door & have a 'busy' or head out if possible.

Alternatively you could stop eating, give her 5 mins of attention, then just ask her to let you have your lunch in peace!

Put headphones on and pretend you are on the phone and can't hear her

I beg your pardon 😳😳I'm sorry....you don't get what for your lunchtime???? 😆😆😆
I realise that it's your time to do with what you want but that's a bit much...so much for a quickie!

"Sorry Deidre, this doesn't work for me at the moment, I'm snowed under and have calls to make".

Repeat ad nauseam. Or better yet, be on the phone when she arrives and just "can't today" and back to your call.

This would drive me crackers.

‘I can’t chat today, I need to call my husband.’

’I can’t chat today, I just need some quiet moments on my own.’

’I can’t chat today, I need to sort out some things with my bank/car insurance etc.’

‘I can’t chat today, I need to get out for some fresh air.’

Repeat until she gets the message.

I think Shirley was joking….

Anyway. OP, break the habit now, while the weather’s good. Take your lunch early/late, go for a walk, sit in your car- mix it up for a week or two and then make sure your habits are less predictable and she’ll hopefully make other plans.

Start doing a DuoLingo course where you have your earbuds in but are repeating phrases like "The cat loves a donut" in a foreign language. Start just as you see her approaching.

If she comes into the office, keep going and tell her "Sorry, can't stop. trying to learn a foreign language. Chat later" and usher her out of the office.

Alternatively, can you start doing yoga in your office (if you have a door to your office this could be very handy). Roll out your yoga mat and start doing the downward dog 😆

There's a lady in my workplace who regularly comes to sit in my office

We need clarification of this, OP. It is her office, too?

🤔

Best typo, made me roar 😁

I can sympathise. I used to have a colleague who simply talked and talked, even if I just needed a quick answer to something I'd get caught talking about inane stuff. We used to call it being 'Sylvia-d' (not real name)

'Blimey KeyboardCat you were gone a while!'
'Yeah I got Sylvia'd at the photocopier'

She was a lovely woman, but just very unaware that others were trying to do their jobs!

@ShirleyPhallus

why?! It’s her time she can do what she wants!

I once sat down to eat my lunch in the kitchen and a colleague in a wider team came and sat down and spent 45 minutes telling me very matter of fact about her sons recent suicide attempt

@ShirleyPhallus

YABU to spend lunch breaks phoning your husband

Why?! How on earth is this unreasonable?

In my experience people like that don't get hints like this. They shut up for about 2 minutes and then relaunch.

If you can;t eat in a quiet convenient place nearby, I'd go along with the headphones idea and if she tries to talk just remove them for a second and say, "I do my studies in my lunchbreak") then put them on again and totally ignore her. Day in, day out. She'll find someone else to talk at.

If you’re sat at your desk literally no one wants to hear a personal phone call every single day

As an aside, what do you have to chat about that couldn’t wait until the end of the day?!

I wonder if she is Korean?

For those asking - my boss was an idiot making it up as he went along. There was no such thing as HR. His precious “company culture” was mostly bullying and intimidating.

To be clear I fully endorse OP’s right to spend her lunch break in any way she chooses.

I had the opposite, a colleague would chat 'at" me all through our actual work time and lunchtime was the only time she was actually quiet looking in FB etc!

And you get laid for the rest of your working day?!?!!?

Sorry, resisting was impossible.

@ShirleyPhallus

If you’re sat at your desk literally no one wants to hear a personal phone call every single day

Except she doesn't have to listen 'every single day' because OP said the woman "comes to sit in my office" so is making the choice to enter her space!

And OP doesn't do it every single day (though she would every right to if she wanted to) it's just one of the things she does: "I prefer to just relax quietly at my desk, read news or phone my husband."

It's all very clear in the OP and you've made out as if she's on loudspeaker to her husband every single day in this other woman's office.

Very odd.

You're being too polite. I'd either leave the office to eat or smile and say you were just about to phone your husband. (Do you actually phone him at your desk that often? I see nothing strange about speaking to your husband at lunch, but if you're doing it around other people at work, some of them may resent the noise.)

Put in earbuds before she has a chance to come over, if that would be enough to deter her. If none of that works, you'll just have to make a polite excuse for why you can't "talk" listen you need your lunch break for silent rest or else you get a headache in the afternoon, etc.

Be direct. Hopefully the message will get through. Be prepared to be unpleasant and go to HR if that does not work- I really hope it does not come to that.

As she enters I'd say " I'm busy on some private stuff, Susan, please leave me alone". If she stayed and started a conversation I would say

"Susan, I've already told you I have some private stuff to sort out. Go away, you're being a nuisance".

The OP hasn’t actually clarified if “my office” is the general shared office or her personal office, so neither of us can know that