Colleague wasting my entire 30 minute lunch break :-S

[janeve]

There's a lady in my workplace who regularly comes to sit in my office (I eat lunch at my desk whilst catching with social emails or reading the news etc).
I don't have any issue with her at all but she just talks "at" me rather than to me IYSWIM.
Talks endlessly about her cats, and I'm not the slightest bit interested. Stops me getting on with doing my own thing whilst having my lunch break. I prefer to just relax quietly at my desk, read news or phone my husband.
WWYD?

Well that’s ironic. Colleague wastes OP’s 30 minute lunch break, and OP is upset.

However OP @janeve seems to have no shame at all about wasting the time of hundreds of Mumsnetters who took the time to reply and ask for clarification (probably during their lunch hours!) by not coming back to the thread…

Headphones.

Earphones. Simple. If she interrupts say sorry I need to listen to this van we do this later.

Just tell her you’re working through lunch. This drives me nuts at my place, too, I seem to be the central place to come for a whinge, a chat, help. I’m not the boss and I want to read Facebook! I have told people I’m working, which to be fair, I usually am.

Just be clear. Tell her that you like quiet lunch breaks to use the time making private phone calls or reading the news, rather than talk or chatting with colleagues. Say 'I'm sure you understand that we all like a break from chatting'

I do this too. 🤣

I have a staff member like that. Half of what she says makes no sense, she tends to confuse people. I hate interrupting people but I have to, and usually say sorry to interrupt got to dash to the ladies before a meeting. That tends to do the trick, but she can keep going for another 5 mins!

Go out for 30 mins and look at news/emails on your phone. Being in the office is giving the impression that you are still available for work chat.

I used to have someone constantly ask me work stuff in the break room during my breaks and I just ended up saying ‘can we discuss this in work time’ type thing.

If it’s friendly chit chat it’s a bit harder. People had all sorts of hiding places at my last workplace like fire escapes and literal cupboards.

It's not all the time, stop complaining. Should be pleased somebody wants to be with you.

Wwyd? Shut the door

Feel your pain OP. My office was site office so also doubled as staff/break room.
Not only would staff talk at me constantly, few just have no social awareness. Some had dreadful table manners also-think lipsmacking and slurping whilst talking at me watching half masticated peanut butter sandwiches roll around.

To top it off, the kettle was in there so it was always assumed I'd clean up, wash dishes etc. Ended up binning all manky mugs and removing fuse from kettle.

Wept with delight when we took over another departments staff room.
I love my peaceful lunch breaks now.
Quite like my colleagues too

YABU to phone your husband. Why not go to the canteen/ kitchen to have your lunch?

Get a massive door stop, a no entry sign, a hazmat sign, a padlock, a real freestanding traffic light (permanently set to red), a pet lion, a guard dog and a vulture that you train to say 'Not today, thank you. Goodbye!' Oh, and the ability to politely but firmly decline her company.

Just ignore her. Let her speak and ignore, and read your articles. She'll get the hint soon enough.

Well, OP's not obliged to update you or anybody else.

Other option is that she's probably held hostage to a barrage of chat by this colleague. Unable to access her laptop, unable to leave the room... tragic. Poor OP!

Oh dear god. I have a guy in work that does this to me too. As soon as he sees me get my food out he runs over to chat. The worst bit is is that he's really boring and he talks about building his shed and what work his car is having done in the garage. In my head I am screaming "FUCK OFF".

I now just go out on a walk for my lunch and eat while I'm meant to be working. Or I would put some headphones on and pretend you've got a meeting or you're listening to something online.

I feel your pain.

Call me weird but if hundreds of people gave me advice I’d think it basic courtesy to thank them.

Havering OP owes nothing. If anybody chooses to give advice, that's great - their choice to read and post.

I think that being invested in chatboard responses is odd. The thread was only posted two days ago anyway. Why must OP march to your timetable?

Well, this OP clearly has an issue about her time being wasted. Just sayin’ that perhaps she isn’t quite a pure as she might think when it comes to wasting other people’s time herself.

You may feel that she hasn’t wasted your time. Fine and dandy and great for you. That doesn’t change the fact that others will feel that she has wasted theirs. In the same way that the lady who sits in the OP’s office doubtless doesn’t think she’s wasting OP’s time. OP doesn’t care how the lady feels, she cares about how she herself feels.

I think you've misunderstood the OP. It's not her time being wasted that is the problem, it's the fact that she has a 30 minute lunch break and a colleague is encroaching on it. That's the problem.

Your parallel of having your time wasted is not at all the same. You can step away, nobody will come after you, wanting more from you. OP can't, that's her issue. Her precious lunch time is being eaten up by somebody talking at her.

OP needs to employ one or more of the very useful phrases given in this thread and that should resolve the issue. Your issue can't be resolved, you just need to come to terms with the fact that 'thanks' are not due to you and are not your right either.

Imagine if every OP said a timely 'thanks' on their thread... posters would be up in arms at the 'waste of a post' when a juicy update is what they're wanting.

If you think that your time is being wasted then don't waste any more of it.

You’re very literal, aren’t you?

Yes, quite possibly, Havering. You're not the first person to say that.

I'm solidly on a fence here.
Other lady must be lonely. I can't resent someone's loneliness.
I imagine wanting to guide the conversation to other topics (is what I would do)

Actually I'd go outside, why are you lunching indoors? The idea of spending lunch break from my sedentary job mostly sitting down is horrible. I'd be out walking as much of my lunch time as possible. Phone spouse or check phone outside, too.

The great a tuin

Yes ! Hilarious.

Op I can't say much because it's outing but I have something v similar. Where I sit I am just at the mercy of others.
Start talking at me about the detailed miunatai of their lives eg...I was just browsing holiday activities and suddenly I'm in a world of shoe sizes and widths for their DC!!

I used to take my lunch to park or eat in car because I wanted a bit of peace and quiet and I liked my colleagues. This was before social media. We had an open plan type work place. I just wanted a break in my down time.

As previous posters have said, if you want to stay in, wear headphones (even if they aren't on)