Children have so much these days they don't treasure their things?

[UndertheCedartree]

I've been sorting out my DC's book shelves today. They have so much. So many books - fiction and non-fiction, my DD has so many art supplies and art books, colouring books etc. It makes me think back to my childhood. I grew up with much wealthier parents than I am but I had far fewer books etc. The books I had I treasured and re-read so many times. My DC haven't read half their books. I'd read mine inside out. My dad used to video films for us off the TV and I watched them over and over. My DC can just put whatever they want on Netflix.

I very rarely reread any books, I always wanted to read something new. DS is the opposite, he loves certain books. Then there are a raft of books he isn't fussed about; some he might read when he's older and some I'll get rid of. Both of us always had treasured toys. So I can't relate.

Having too much stuff is annoying and it's hard to manage gift giving, but it is a different topic. Explicitly asking for less and regularly clearing out is all you can do. Limiting itembay child can own by number is very troubling, that sort of OCD really must not be inflicted on kids. I'd advise that person to ask a GP for help.

What I thought the OP would be about was things getting randomly broken. DS is always careful with his toys and we help him tidy, so we aren't used to things getting broken or parts missing. A play date brought a slightly older brother the other day, who managed to break 7 things in the hour and a half. The ex-bubble wand, ex-book and ex-car went in recycling, ex-ball went in the bin, the 4 Lego items I helped DS put back together. Wait, that's 8 things. Whatever. My point is that some kids are much rougher on toys than others. Usually we vary what we put out based on the child, but the little brother Is careful so I was blindsided by the chaos merchant.

I recently read that nearly 400,000 children in the UK don’t have a single book to call their own.

I wouldn't class Lego getting taken apart as broken. I remember a thread where a MNer was trying to get another Mum to replace her kids brand new toy. Which pages later it turned out it was a Lego Firestation. But yes some kids are much rougher with toys than others.

I have a big age gap 6 years so hang onto stuff for the youngest. Which sort of adds to the amount of clutter in my house.

I also find that trying to get kids to part with stuff is difficult. "But I want it" is a regular cry. If that is an indication stuff is treasured then so be it.
No family I know in RL manages to persuade kids to willingly charity shop toys. Everyone seems to do the clear out when kids aren't looking or put stuff out of sight to see if it is asked for.

I recently read that nearly 400,000 children in the UK don’t have a single book to call their own.
I remember chatting years ago to a lady in work and I said about going to the library with the kids and laughing about how I force read them books. She had a 3 and 5 year old and said ‘I must buy them a book or try that library.’ I realised after it had honestly never occurred to her. In the bookshop I work in we get a lot of people so proud that their children want to buy a book. You can generally tell they can’t afford it. I always make sure to ask have they been in the library to plant the seed. They should be advertising the library everywhere-there should be public service ads about it to make sure people know reading is not just for those with money

That is very sad.

My friend is a school teacher, and was talking about a girl who loved reading but had no books. I gave her a full set of Enid Blyton for that girl. My DS wasn't interested in them. So I'd rather they went to someone who wanted them.

I wouldn't class Lego getting taken apart as broken.
I take your point that they can be fixed, but these vehicles have lots of bits; 2 of the vehicles were Lego design and 2 designed by DS. A few bits fall off and get put back from time to time in any normal play, but in this case they were crashed into each other so the vehicles fell into bits mixed together. DS was nicely playing putting out fires with his friend using other Lego at the time his other stuff "crashed".All sorted now, but it took a fair amount of time (longer than the play date had been!) to reconstruct them and they are precious to DS. Other children usually play with the trucks and create their own vehicle too, but fully taking apart 4 vehicles is very rough play.

I could have wrote this! Sorting out DC bedroom and they have unopened toys from Christmas. I'm a little angry at myself tbf.

Agree!

I wonder if we genuinely treasured our stuff more as kids, or it's just Rose tinted spectacles. I do agreed I watched fewer films, and the ones I did watch were seen over and over again. Same with music and books. But even adults had fewer of those at the time because videos, records and books were expensive. Renting / borrowing things was also more of a thing.

So, do things differently? I dunno. Buy them less. Have reading days. You're the parent. Don't put on Netflix then complain your kids watch it.

My DS8 is a collector so has a lot of stuff but it’s treasured, he dusts and displays his items and when he does play with them he takes are to put them back. Yes he has more stuff than I ever did has a child but treats them all better than I did.

Books he doesn’t tend to read more than once so we make use of the library. I suppose watching a film is less of a big deal to him than when I was growing up but then access is so much better

I think there is a bit of rose tinting going on here. I suppose it does depend how far back you are going but i don’t think my childhood was less materialistic than this one.

there may be environmental reasons for wanting less stuff or less day trips but I don’t think not having stuff is more worthy or less worthy.

I also think some adults likely have a lot of stuff but not so obvious because it is digital such as loads of books in a kindle never read.

less day trips
Children actually need experiences to develop their intellect, particularly bright kids who were hindered from accessing life due to covid restrictions. By all means moan about plastics and consumerism, but you choose to moan that kids might get a day trip, so you can really fuck off. You had your education and so did older kids, ket the covid generation at least get out to have some experiences. WTF do you even think life experiences have to do with the environment? DS has heaps of trips that are mostly walking, bus or train to get to; I won't enable any fool spewing criticism for that.

I think small children still have "treasure" though, DS1 (6) has a drawer he puts all his in - stickers, school certificates, little crafts he has made at holiday club, a little green car etc.

I phrased this badly - I meant if parents decide that they don’t want to travel or have plastic toys due to environment (or maybe finances) that’s ok.

I would think that cutting back just because kids these days have too much stuff compared to the old days and are too materialistic is wrong.

(My reference to not being more worthy is about children whose parents can’t afford to do things - I don’t think Anne F is better than Anne R because their parents can affect rd day trips. I would support schools being able to do the trips so everyone can go but they are great experiences and fun

It just felt a bit like this thread has become like children should not have stuff or experiences because we didn’t.
sorry don’t think I’m explaining myself very well even now.

My parents had a full library of books and some more stashed on top of a wardrobe. I only had a couple of kids books, and those given by the school. Yes I read them over and over again,not because I treasured them but because I had no options. Once I was older I had my own library card and made the trip on foot, read most of the stuff in the library a lot of which was highly inappropriate and started borrowing from my friend's parents.

Films, again I only had a few tapes (two of which terrified the crap out of me). My parents regularly rented stuff for themselves which I also watched.

Same with stuff,clothes,toys. My parents had the money, I just wasn't necessarily a priority or they just didn't think of it.I do remember getting my first (and only) Barbie from my abusive and creepy grandfather. I nearly liked him that day and finally gave him a willing hug. A few years later I bought a rip off Cindy so now I had two dolls,that I still played with at 14. Again it's not necessarily because I treasured them.

My DD gets stuff at a similar level to us, because she's also a human being whose thoughts,feelings,needs and wants matter.
I'm an avid reader and I go through many books a month,they're just on my kindle. I'm not going to begrudge her wanting to read a whole series too.

I don't think this is true, at all. My DC has access to lots of books, but has been reading the same series (of awful minecraft books) on repeat for ages. He has access to a world of streaming, but watched Men In Black two days in a row last week.

He has toys that he does cherish, and can tell you where all his items are. He also has toys and books that he couldn't care less about, but that's not his fault - its because I've bought him shit he didn't want.

I think we often fall into the trap of thinking kids should be grateful for the things we have decided they aught to have. When actually the thing they treasure is the toy from a happy meal, or the shit prize they won at a fair.