Children have so much these days they don't treasure their things?

[UndertheCedartree]

I've been sorting out my DC's book shelves today. They have so much. So many books - fiction and non-fiction, my DD has so many art supplies and art books, colouring books etc. It makes me think back to my childhood. I grew up with much wealthier parents than I am but I had far fewer books etc. The books I had I treasured and re-read so many times. My DC haven't read half their books. I'd read mine inside out. My dad used to video films for us off the TV and I watched them over and over. My DC can just put whatever they want on Netflix.

My house is the same - playroom and bedrooms full of stuff - but I know it's my fault. I buy the kids toys because I want them to have it; they show an interest in a new thing and straight away I indulge it. I let myself away with it because they're 'good' toys - educational, creative, long-lasting, ethical, etc. - and I like to think I'm getting them with good reason but I know it's just feeding an impulse in me and not just about them. I'm now realising all I've done is teach them that there is a constant stream of toys coming into the house and it won't be long until the next one arrives. They now just love consuming, but not actually having. I desperately need to pull the plug because I'm doing them no favours.

I must admit I don't think my DC and their friends have any problems with imagination. The things they create on Minecraft or the stories they act out on Toca Boca I think these games are much more creative than the likes of Sonic that I grew up with. I'm not the type who has ever constantly entertained my DC but they do have so many options they can easily keep themselves amused.

Well, exactly you absolutely can have too many books if you don't have the shelf space for them. I love it when my DC reads books I loved. DD likes the Worst Witch same as I did.

We pass lots to their cousin once outgrown even for Birthday/Christmas presents which some people were disgusted about when I mentioned it on here! I have kept some of their beautiful wooden toys - for the grandchildren!

There does come a point where you are running out of shelf space and they're outgrowing books before they've had a chance to read them...

But the solution is so so easy. If they’re outgrowing books before they have the chance to read them just stop buying them. Let them borrow from the library or buy their own books. It seems like you’re painting the kids as having ‘too much stuff’ but in fact you buy too much stuff because you like books and arts & crafts. So it’s not that kids don’t treasure stuff because their spoiled and have too much - it’s that you buy too much that they don’t need/want.

I read them over and over because I loved them...but also because I didn't have loads of other things to do. There probably were books I only read once but I remember the ones I read over and over. I don't remember ever breaking toys. And mine had/have favourite toys...but it doesn't feel quite the same.

😂

We donated over 200 children’s books to 6 different teachers for their class libraries, we should probably do a similar cull but she doesn’t read anywhere as much as she used to.
We also only tend to buy one or two things for birthday and Christmas, they are often big items but few in number. This birthday she has a graphics card for her gaming PC and the cost of fitting it. I’ve also bought her a new small sketch book for her to doodle in as she needs to start building an art portfolio for the degree she wants to apply for.

We have worked hard on decluttering our house because having more stuff doesn’t make us any happier.

Oh, gosh no, I'm not saying it's morally superior! I just loved it as a DC and feel sad my DC probably won't experience it!

I'm a pretty ruthless declutterer as we have a tiny house I think books are a sticking point for me!

All I can say is...good luck!

Oh, that doesn't side good. I had lots of very nice things as a DC. My DC probably have more but not as good quality on the whole.

I know...I'm not sure what the exact solution is.

Well, I can give my things away but obviously not other people's.

I have to say mine have never damaged anything, but the youngest doesn't take as much care of things as my eldest. Different personalities, I think.

Yes, thinking about it that is true about 'days out'. Some people seem to do them every weekend. I simply can't afford that...I would say 'days out' are still really expensive - rather than going to the local park/beach etc.

And yep, every generation says the same!

I did this when they were little but they're 10 and 15 now.

Oh, no they are! My DS wants to be a librarian and my DD an artist! Books and art are their favourite things!

I did all this....then they grew up!

Yes. It's something I think about a lot. I'm 40 and it's a stark contrast. I'm sure I remember every toy I had. The Keepers, and wanting the blue one so much I even dreamt about it.

I remember distinctly going to a friend's house and marvelling at all the toys stacked in the lounge and wondering how any child could possibly have that many toys.

My husband is younger than me and every single xmas will spend 300 - 500 on stuff for our daughter. She has EVERYTHING. Her room is full of toys and it's a big room.

Honestly I don't see it as a good thing. I see it as too much. I've witnessed that it devalues things for her. If something is to be tidied up I have said 'fine, we will put it in the bin then' and she's gone 'yes, put it in the bin' rather than tidy it up, and during my high stress time last year I DID put something in the bin that was not even cheap and she did not care!

She is not a spoilt brat but that's the effect of having anything you could want. Does she dream about having a certain toy the way I did? I really doubt it.

She's lucky to have my husband I suppose as if it were just me it just wouldn't occur to me for her to have all this stuff. I would probably spend 50 - 100 at xmas and birthday and that would be considered generous.

When she goes to my dad's who has no internet she will say 'put this, that on' or 'what is this? (adverts) skip it'

She has no concept of TV. Only streaming services.

It's madness. I often wonder at what I've witnessed, this huge change in the world from what I grew up with (4 TV channels!, no remote! a few things, no mobiles, no internet!)

I posted this upthread but stop buying them. If books are being outgrown before they’re read simply stop buying books? Let them use the library or buy with their own money if they want to. Don’t buy arts supplies if there are already lots there. Just don’t buy more stuff. It’s hardly a difficult solution to come to.

My daughter is definitely spoiled and doesn't appreciate it at all. I started off with the unlimited toy fads when she was little and now she is 12 she has an actual pony (in addition to al the other pets I got her - including a dog). The pony has a better and far more expensive wardrobe than me! Not even mentioning how much money this pony, all the accessories and competitions are costing me... And I'm a single parent on a very average salary. Does my daughter appreciate how lucky she is? Nope. She actually wants a second pony (a better show jumper than the one we already have). 🤨

all*

I feel like my dc have far too many toys but we went through their room together during the last half term and they do actually play with everything they have. They have playmobil, marble run, wooden figures, barbie/lol type dolls, baby dolls and soft toys, Lego, instruments, sylvanians, dolls house, ponies, dressing up stuff, building blocks, magnetic tiles, train set and station, cars and hot wheels track and garages, art and craft stuff, role play stuff like food/doctors kit/ tool kit, board games, books…not loads of each but it all adds up.

I’ve always secretly hankered after a toy box like in old fashioned story books with one doll, one toy car, a couple of books, a small trainset, some blocks but we’re a million miles away from that! I managed it until my eldest child’s first Christmas! I think it’s easy to be minimalist with babies and again as they get older but you have a good few years in between where they have a lot!

Weird - I’ve worked with all age groups and without exception they all know how to use their imagination. Playing in the home corners, re-enacting books and TV programmes, making up stories and comics, drawing imaginative pictures, playing mummies & daddies or bad guys and police etc etc etc. If your teacher friend genuinely sees that none of her students can use their imagination I would think it’s something about her school environment that’s making it difficult for her to observe that. I have sometimes noticed in schools without enough ‘movement’ or freedom the children obviously don’t play imaginatively. Or perhaps if the environment is too strict children might feel uncomfortable to show that side. But I’d be really shocked to meet a teacher who thinks her students ‘can’t imagine.’
I have read articles and listened to podcasts and interviews on this (there’s as in my family, I have 4 children, have worked in childcare and have a selfish interest given my children are addicted to technology and my husband works in it) and I don’t see why you’re so shocked, it’s common knowledge that tv, tablets and devices have led to children coming up with less iterations of the games they’d have made up years ago- children are a lot more likely to act out something that’s linked to a tv show. Teachers now have to work much harder to guide a child towards using their imagination at all ages.

Well, as I said in my own experience (not just reading articles and listening to podcasts but actually working with kids for 10 years) kids use their imagination much the same as they did when I was a kid. Sometimes acting out familiar stories (which is an important step to creating their own) and sometimes recreating their own lives by playing families/teachers etc, sometimes making up random stories. I think it’s just the typical old ‘oh this new generation doesn’t blah blah blah.’ So I’m not really shocked as much as disagreeing. From what I see kids play as they’ve always played.