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Original poster

Children have so much these days they don't treasure their things?

192 replies

UndertheCedartree · 05/07/2022 14:32

I've been sorting out my DC's book shelves today. They have so much. So many books - fiction and non-fiction, my DD has so many art supplies and art books, colouring books etc. It makes me think back to my childhood. I grew up with much wealthier parents than I am but I had far fewer books etc. The books I had I treasured and re-read so many times. My DC haven't read half their books. I'd read mine inside out. My dad used to video films for us off the TV and I watched them over and over. My DC can just put whatever they want on Netflix.

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Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 05/07/2022 19:08

CaramelJones · 05/07/2022 14:40

I had a lot of books as a child and read voraciously. I still loved and valued each and everyone of them.

Out of interest when you say 'lots' what sort of number do you mean?

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Kanaloa · 05/07/2022 19:09

WoundTheBobbinUp · 05/07/2022 15:41

My friend is a teacher and she says that children just don't know how to imagine anymore. She thinks it's because they're bombarded all the time with unlimited TV and activities. Children don't have a chance to be bored anymore, and if they do then the parents are likely to feel guilty because of what they see on social media. Children being constantly entertained is a modern thing. Without the chance to be bored, children stop being inventive!

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Weird - I’ve worked with all age groups and without exception they all know how to use their imagination. Playing in the home corners, re-enacting books and TV programmes, making up stories and comics, drawing imaginative pictures, playing mummies & daddies or bad guys and police etc etc etc. If your teacher friend genuinely sees that none of her students can use their imagination I would think it’s something about her school environment that’s making it difficult for her to observe that. I have sometimes noticed in schools without enough ‘movement’ or freedom the children obviously don’t play imaginatively. Or perhaps if the environment is too strict children might feel uncomfortable to show that side. But I’d be really shocked to meet a teacher who thinks her students ‘can’t imagine.’

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 05/07/2022 19:10

FrownsAndDimples · 05/07/2022 14:40

I've been feeling like this a lot. I thought we were doing fairly well to limit toys and useless buys but they've ended up with waaaay more than I'd like.

I've always been quite a big declutterer and was quite ruthless when they were younger but the same here, just so much.

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Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 05/07/2022 19:10

Anotherdayanotherdollar · 05/07/2022 14:41

I don't think that kids and young people even are aware of "treasuring" as a concept. There is always more to be had!

I feel this particularly with my youngest.

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HereIAmBrainTheSizeOfAPlanet · 05/07/2022 19:12

UndertheCedartree · 05/07/2022 19:06

They are 15 and 10. Tbh, we don't watch movies that often and there are certain films they've watched more than once but there's so much choice on Netflix we mainly watch new ones every time, whereas I had the same few films I watched over and over.

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Why are you paying for Netflix then?

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 05/07/2022 19:15

SallyWD · 05/07/2022 14:41

I completely agree. I was thinking this earlier when I was sorting out my children's rooms. They have sooo many books and toys. Boxes and boxes of games and craft kits etc that they haven't even opened. It all seems like such a waste. They're both addicted to gadgets which is part of the problem but it's also the fact they just have too much.

Yes, the gadgets certainly take up time when I would be re-reading a book or re-watching a film. I used to enjoy playing computer games but when we got stuck we were stuck until we figured it out which could be a couple of weeks. Now if mine are stuck on a game they look online! I don't mind the games they play as they are very creative and they play with friends but they do spend a higher percentage of time on electronics than I did which means less time reading their books/doing arts and crafts.

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BlackandBlueBird · 05/07/2022 19:16

I’m not sure I agree OP. All 3 of mine definitely have things that they treasure. Yes there are books and toys in the house (typically gifts from people who don’t know them that well!) that they aren’t that fussed about, but they all have toys that they absolutely adore, that are brought on holidays, etc. They all have favourite books that are read and re-read. DD treasures her clothes (the boys not so much!)

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 05/07/2022 19:19

FourTeaFallOut · 05/07/2022 14:43

I think treasuring things is a bit weird. I mean, I'm sure I had a lot less stuff than my kids and I'm not sure I treasured any of it. They're just things, no need to elevate them to the foreground of our lives.

Weird, really? You didn't treasure any of your favourite things? I absolutely loved my favourite books and favourite films. I was listening to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory on my DD's Yoto the other night and it bought back so many happy memories. I would get lost in a whole new world and it made me so happy.

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Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 05/07/2022 19:20

Aquilegia23 · 05/07/2022 14:44

It's a different world! I grew up in the fifties and sixties, we had very little.

To be fair, there wasn't much available for children in those days. Celebrities become famous for anything at all and they write ( or at a guess, get someone else to write) their books.

New clothes were a rarity, they all got passed down. And Christmas certainly wasn't the mountain of presents that today's children get. We always had a selection box, and a few presents but that was it.

I agree that we all have too much stuff in general, but it's swinging the other way, with sites like eBay, Fb marketplace and Vinted. It's becoming acceptable and politically correct to recycle, which wasn't the case 60 years ago.

Interesting observations, thank you.

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winemedown · 05/07/2022 19:20

I completely agree. We're getting ready to move and the stuff is making me feel sick. Begged for toys that probably made me a bit skint for the rest of the month, that were discarded after a few days. I think the problem is with charity shops, B&M, Asda etc toys are cheaper and everywhere. My mum didn't have to say no to stuff in food shops because it wasn't there, she wouldn't go into town with me because she knew I would ask for stuff she couldn't afford. That feels harder now and also more mums work full time so have to do shopping with kids in tow meaning more pestering. I don't know what the answer is.

stayathomer · 05/07/2022 19:23

I think if you go through your kids’ toys with them acting like you’re just looking (not on a mission to sort etc) you find the ones they ADORE and then you can get rid of a good deal of stuff that you know they never play with or think about. Probably only a third of our stuff is valued to the point that in the future I know when they look at it it will bring back warm fond memories but as for the rest-I used to try to keep loads and realised most of them they had never played with or thought about. I never agree with eg people calling Christmas presents or cheap toys tat though, my children have the weirdest collection of favourite toys that they absolutely adore!! As for books-yes there’s regular culls here unless there’s significance or sentimental value

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 05/07/2022 19:27

Testina · 05/07/2022 14:47

If children have books unread and boxes unopened, it isn’t their fault for not treasuring them - it’s the adult’s fault for buying too much.

My children treasure things - a particular cuddly toy, some very favourite graphic markers, a make up palette that she wishes she bought two of now she’s “hitting pan”… all sorts of things. I don’t see my children reading the same book over and over, but they’ll return to some films many times. Plenty they still love and appreciate.

Yes, that's true they do treasure some things and they definitely love and appreciate things. But I loved the pleasure of re-reading a favourite book til you knew it inside out. They don't have boxes unopened but they do have lots of books unread and (younger one) colouring/activity books not finished etc. Yes, it absolutely is partly my fault! I love books, crafts etc and have bought too much.

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Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 05/07/2022 19:30

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 05/07/2022 14:50

I got most of my books from the library when I was young...

Local library is open 9-2, Monday to Friday. When the kids are at school...

P

Oh, that's no good! I used to get lots of books from the library too. I probably take my DD once a month and she gets about 4 books...and then she's reading those rather than the ones on her bookshelf! 😄

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Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 05/07/2022 19:32

Whatup · 05/07/2022 14:51

You cant have too many books though.

I actually disagree with that. You can't read enough books but there are tonnes at the library! I think when DC have too much of anything it becomes overwhelming.

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Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 05/07/2022 19:34

AppaTheSixLeggedFlyingBison · 05/07/2022 14:57

I think a lot of it is the amount of people who buy presents for them now.

So whilst you could limit it to 3 pressies yourself, then their grandparents, aunts, uncles, family friends, friends, etc all get them something and all of a sudden they have more than 20 presents.

Birthdays to an even larger extent as in a lot of schools whole class parties are encouraged

We don't have loads of family but what I notice is when I was a DC for a present I was given 1 book, but now my DC are often given a set of books. I suppose as you can get them so cheaply now.

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UndertheCedartree · 05/07/2022 19:35

Hardbackwriter · 05/07/2022 14:59

I don't know how old you all are - maybe I'm unusually young for the thread - but I remember my grandparents saying exactly this about my brother and I in the 80s/early 90s.

We're about the same age and yes my grandparents said it too. I think every generation does!

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Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 05/07/2022 19:38

SparklingPeach · 05/07/2022 15:03

I agree with you that kids have too much stuff, but we as adults need to take responsibility for that, we gave it to them! Time to cut down on birthday and Christmas presents when you're thinking this way OP.

I know and it is true, I often buy them lots of books for Birthday and Christmas but then other family often buy them book sets rather than a single book. I love arts and crafts and stationery and I do buy too much of those things too.

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Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 05/07/2022 19:40

minimadgirl · 05/07/2022 15:13

Can you ever have too many books? We have loads but most of ours all come from the charity shop, very rarely do I buy brand new books and if I do they are the classics.

We perhaps have too many toys though, but again they are all from my local charity shop which we like supporting and when finished with will go back there.

I used to do that with toys when mine were little but doesn't work now they're older. And yes, I think you can have too many books.

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Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 05/07/2022 19:42

CrispieCake · 05/07/2022 15:14

I think part of it is that our houses are generally quite small and kids have too much stuff for the space. To be treasured, toys and other things need to be treated properly and have their own space where they can be put away. If everything is in a random pile in the corner, it's hard for kids to treasure things.

Our house is small, if I had room for a playroom or large bedrooms it probably wouldn't seem so bad. My DS and I are very tidy with our belongings but my DD not so much.

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Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 05/07/2022 19:43

Fluffruff · 05/07/2022 15:15

An interesting observation. I was an 80s kid growing up abroad and I read books over and over but I think it was mainly because I was bored!!. My parents were working so there were long hours to fill. There were foreign cartoons on for one hr a day. I think today’s children would be be expected to occupy themselves from say 1-6pm like I was. I’d lie for hours on my bed reading. So perhaps a bit of that in making the difference and also as you say, too much stuff. I buy my kids lots of books because it seems to me that you can never have too many! 😂

Yes, I agree, I read them again and again because I was bored. My DC have so many things to do they are never bored!

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Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 05/07/2022 19:44

But there are so many good Children's books out there and so reasonably priced I do buy them a lot.

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UndertheCedartree · 05/07/2022 19:46

Butteryflakycrust83 · 05/07/2022 15:29

Such an interesting topic. I wonder if there is a link between a complete lack of attention span and the culture of not having to wait for anything anymore?

Yes, interesting.

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Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 05/07/2022 19:47

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 05/07/2022 15:36

It depends on the child, surely. DS has lots of stuff, but it doesn't stop him forming inconvenient strong sentimental attachments to certain items whenever I attempt to declutter.

Oh well, of course, I think they're all like that! The minute you try to declutter anything it is their favourite thing in the whole wide world! 😂

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Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 05/07/2022 19:49

Aquilegia23 · 05/07/2022 15:36

I think the lack of attention span is more about the internet than having too many toys.

Everything is faster today. Newsreaders speak more quickly than they used to. TV adverts flash images every half a second. Children flick from one image to another without giving much attention to what they're watching.

Parcels are delivered the next day (well, mine are, and I get very impatient if something is late).

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My DC are very put out if something isn't going to arrive the next day! They were aghast at the idea of Super Saver Delivery!

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Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 05/07/2022 19:53

FourTeaFallOut · 05/07/2022 15:41

Yeah, this is me. I'm not a sentimental type. I don't cling to things and don't feel a compulsion to carefully carry them through life. I have things, then they break or they survive beyond their usefulness and then I pass them on. My kids are the same.

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I'm very much like that now and didn't cling to my childhood things beyond childhood. But of course my books didn't break or survive beyond usefulness, they were very treasured stories that I knew inside out!

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