Children have so much these days they don't treasure their things?

[UndertheCedartree]

I've been sorting out my DC's book shelves today. They have so much. So many books - fiction and non-fiction, my DD has so many art supplies and art books, colouring books etc. It makes me think back to my childhood. I grew up with much wealthier parents than I am but I had far fewer books etc. The books I had I treasured and re-read so many times. My DC haven't read half their books. I'd read mine inside out. My dad used to video films for us off the TV and I watched them over and over. My DC can just put whatever they want on Netflix.

Oh you really can, we have just got rid of 600 antique natural history ones. Feel so much lighter without them.

I had rich but "worthy" parents so I was never allowed nice things... My dad would frequently call me materialistic even from the age of 5 or 6 so I have a bit of a guilt complex about wanting anything. Not saying you're like this at all but whenever people complain about how "we all have too much STUFF these days" I inwardly roll my eyes a bit. I treasure the nice things I've bought for myself as an adult far more than the hand me down clothes from two decades previous (much older cousins) that I got teased for wearing at school, the fairtrade nativity display set I got when I was a bemused teenager, etc etc.

"In fact, I hate it so much that I have put a ban on anyone buying toys for our first LO due this year. She’ll have some books and a few toys, and they’ll be swapped out for others as she gets older." In as nice a way as possible I would like to revisit this statement in, say, a year or eighteen months. I'm sure she'll eat just what you eat too, she'll fit in with your lifestyle not the other way round and she'll sleep just perfectly...

Yes I think this too.

How do we
Stop it though.
I have exactly the same
Problem.

I'm sure she'll eat just what you eat too, she'll fit in with your lifestyle not the other way round and she'll sleep just perfectly...

Now, now 😁

I agree. I feel exactly the same with my dc. I think the issue is we feel so pressured at Christmas and birthdays etc that we go way over the top and buy things they don't want or need just to make it 'special'. The money I've spent on books, games, toys and art supplies and my ds still only ever wants to play on his Xbox. It's so easy to acquire stuff these days - click of a button and next day delivery. It means we just accumulate more. I do sometimes look at dc bookshelves that are full of unread books (not because they don't like reading but because they have so bloody many!) and remember my own books which were read over and over. Sad really.

Yes too much stuff. You can always give it away though.

@stuffnthings, I had far too many CDs and records. I recorded them all onto the computer and then onto an SD card, which is on my Samsung tablet. I would like to find a way to record them onto my iPad. I kept a few favourites for the car, passed many on to adult pupils and gave many more to my local Oxfam bookshop, which l was able to gift aid. That year, l had a letter to tell me that my donations had raised £300 for the charity, enough to set up a lady in an African village with a smallholding.

l do think children today have far too much of everything, including activities and experiences. As a child, I had piano lessons and went to brownies and that was it. Later on, I learned the recorder and violin at school. My teenage bedroom technology consisted of a cassette recorder, a clock radio and my mother’s old Dansette record player. My friend had the Boomtown Rats LP with I Don’t Like Mondays on it and our friendship group took it in turns to borrow it and record it. I had plenty of books and borrowed more from the library. I still have one or two of my most treasured childhood books and my teddy bear. Also my dolls’ house. My own children had more than l did but we limited after school activities - they did swimming, learned instruments and were in uniformed groups. I don’t know how people afford all this for their children. When I read on here about Christmas Eve boxes and the number of presents bought as birthday presents for their children, I am amazed.

It's because DD treasures her stuff why we have too much crap. For example the dolls house. She got it when she was nearly 3 . She's nearly 11 now, barely uses it (and mostly as a "display" case) but every time I mention it needs to go she gets very upset. Same with the stuffed plushie from Spain, the thing she bought with her own money for the first time at a table top sale, the giant ball she won at chessington, some of her baby books, the doll sent by x, the teddy we got on that holiday/trip and so on. She doesn't use them but when she sees them she remembers various experiences and adventures , so she's unwilling to let them go.

She does get some stuff throughout the year , but that's because her birthday is very close to Christmas and it's a long time to wait /wrong season for some things.

I used to keep my games in immaculate condition and would take care to never lose any pieces. My DC think it’s fine if there’s cards or pieces lost from e.g Monopoly. They don’t understand why I feel upset about it.

I would never dream of writing on books or damaging anything. I won’t say they damage things deliberately, but they don’t take care of things much.

I’m in my 40s. We used to have 1 or 2 ‘days out’ in the year. We really enjoyed them and they were (mostly) lovely experiences.

However now people seem to be going to beaches, theme parks, zoos etc every week. Everything is so crowded and expensive that it’s frankly ruined. The roads are clogged up so it takes hours to get anywhere. We actually don’t go every week (and then I feel guilty that we’re not doing enough), but when we do, I want to be able to enjoy it rather than fighting through the crowds or queuing for hours to get on a ride….

Of course everything was better when we were young…I expect our DC will think the same when they’re older 🤔

The Repair Shop of twenty years' time will one person sitting with a tube of superglue, followed by a discussion of the rarity and resale value of the toy which has been stuck together...

I've always been very attracted to minimalism, too much stuff isn't good for my head.. with the kids they have enough toys and things but I only have several out at once and rotate the ones in storage every now and then.

I agree - we all have too much. It's amazing how many people talk about going into debt every Christmas because they want their children to have the latest of everything, even if the child is too young to know what "the latest of everything is".

Ha exactly

Maybe they just aren't that into books and art stuff

We go to the library once a month and my daughter picks about 10 books, much cheaper too.

We purposely bought wooden toys etc that were timeless and would last a couple of siblings and hopefully their own children one day and character toys that have been around a long time like Lego / playmobil / sylvanian families and not likely to go out of fashion. We try and avoid the latest "fads" of cheap/garish tat they grow out of before the batteries even run out. When it comes to presents family pretty good about buying things that get "used up" so don't sit in the cupboard. Books wise we got nice hardbacks of the usual Peter rabbit Winnie the Pooh grufallo mog etc - the 10 for a £10 type books from the Works get given to the school when they have their annual library donation day

Yes agree! We were not well off so I had a
few second hand books which I treasured and visited the libraries every weekend which I remember were my happiest time of the week.
Had mostly second hand toys and really loved them and took care of them. My dd 14 hasn’t read even half her books (obviously I loved buying books for her from book people) despite my reading to her from when she was a baby. And although she loved some of her toys I look back and think I shouldn’t have wasted money on all those toys I bought her as a toddler and child.
I think we buy too many things for our children as there’s so many available and sometimes on offer and in the end they don’t have the same enjoyment out of them as we did.

Stop buying them things they're not interested in. You can't force them to like reading.

If they haven’t read half the books they’ve got just stop buying more and more then? As for sitting reading the same ones over and over why would you want that if you can provide them new and different books? As an adult do you buy only a few books and ‘read them inside out’ to ensure they’re properly ‘treasured?’ Or use library books. I don’t know why the blame is always passed on to the kids though - you bought the books. You provided Netflix. That’s why they use them. As for ‘not treasuring them’ what do you want them to do? Sit Sistine chapel screaming at a copy of room on the broom to show their utter appreciation and devotion to that one book?

Yes, true. I know it sounds silly as I've obviously bought a good chunk of their things myself but I don't understand why they have so much more than I had as a child.

I mean again this isn’t the kids, is it? It’s always the rose tinted ‘back in my day’ but even old episodes of rugrats show kids drawing on walls etc - kids are sometimes naughty. As adults we teach them to protect and care for their possessions. My kids don’t lose and rip their monopoly cards because I only let them get one game out at a time from young and supervised it being put away to make sure all pieces were together. If your kids damage their stuff it’s not necessarily their fault. Although I think we are all a bit too quick to say ‘when I was young I would NEVER have done xyz…’ but kids have always done daft things. I remember breaking a pencil when I was about 6 and being told off by the teacher. I don’t know why I did it. I certainly wasn’t a spoiled child with no care for things. It was just a silly thing I did as a small child. My kids have probably done similar. It takes effort to teach them to look after things properly.

Yes, I would say there are things my teen treasures but I feel they don't get a chance to treasure things as much because they have so much.

They are 15 and 10. Tbh, we don't watch movies that often and there are certain films they've watched more than once but there's so much choice on Netflix we mainly watch new ones every time, whereas I had the same few films I watched over and over.