Children have so much these days they don't treasure their things?

[UndertheCedartree]

I've been sorting out my DC's book shelves today. They have so much. So many books - fiction and non-fiction, my DD has so many art supplies and art books, colouring books etc. It makes me think back to my childhood. I grew up with much wealthier parents than I am but I had far fewer books etc. The books I had I treasured and re-read so many times. My DC haven't read half their books. I'd read mine inside out. My dad used to video films for us off the TV and I watched them over and over. My DC can just put whatever they want on Netflix.

We are a very materialistic society.
Having "Stuff" rather than a few "Treasures" seems to be the norm all over. I think kids are just used to having whatever they want. The individual item is less "valuable" and can easily be replaced. Isn't that what we teach them?
Hopefully, with the way things are currently going (cost of living & raw materials) we will move away from this towards a less is more society.

Most of it is just plastic tat anyway....

Such an interesting topic. I wonder if there is a link between a complete lack of attention span and the culture of not having to wait for anything anymore?

It depends on the child, surely. DS has lots of stuff, but it doesn't stop him forming inconvenient strong sentimental attachments to certain items whenever I attempt to declutter.

I think the lack of attention span is more about the internet than having too many toys.

Everything is faster today. Newsreaders speak more quickly than they used to. TV adverts flash images every half a second. Children flick from one image to another without giving much attention to what they're watching.

Parcels are delivered the next day (well, mine are, and I get very impatient if something is late).

Conversely, I didn't have many material possessions as a child, but was happy to get rid of pretty much all of them.

I totally agree, I was saying this to my mum the other day. Without meaning to judge (though yes I know, I am judging) I can't stand all these things like Christmas Eve boxes - as if kids don't get enough on Christmas Day! On Valentine's Day a couple of my friends even put together "Valentine's Boxes" for their DC. What is that about?! I can't believe how people are consuming more and more, despite the current push to save the planet and cut down on waste. It boggles my mind. I also agree that the more nice things you have, the less special they become.

Yeah, this is me. I'm not a sentimental type. I don't cling to things and don't feel a compulsion to carefully carry them through life. I have things, then they break or they survive beyond their usefulness and then I pass them on. My kids are the same.

Yes and I have probably three times as many clothes than my mother ever did. She grew up comfortable but as an adult and married with small kids had little money and we got one main one small present at Christmas- and I don't recall ever comparing myself to other kids either.

My friend is a teacher and she says that children just don't know how to imagine anymore. She thinks it's because they're bombarded all the time with unlimited TV and activities. Children don't have a chance to be bored anymore, and if they do then the parents are likely to feel guilty because of what they see on social media. Children being constantly entertained is a modern thing. Without the chance to be bored, children stop being inventive!

I genuinely don't believe you can ever have too many books. Unfortunately I have had no choice but to move to a Kindle/library app as we simply have no space in the house for more books. Obviously we couldn't keep all the DCs' books forever so we did keep the "treasured" ones and full sets like Chalet School. Funnily enough a lot of my DCs "treasured" ones were mine originally! I'm still partial to a bit of nostalgia Chalet School reading.

My DCs are older so they didn't have "technology" toys like iPads, but we were really lucky where we lived and had really good charity shops/exchange places and toy libraries. We did buy and have kept extra special toys (fuck me I wish I had kept all my Star Wars toys!) like dolls houses and sets of Sylvanian families. I have quite a few DC so I'm hoping there will be another generation to love them.

I think we need to have more of a "circulation" mindset than "consumption". I think it's nice for DC to have certain things from their childhood (I myself have a couple of teddies that are a probably a hazard to human health) but otherwise it's good to pass things on to younger DC to benefit. The way the economies are going, I'm sure a lot less people will be buying new and hopefully it'll be the norm for buying and reusing second hand stuff even for Christmas and birthdays, than buying new, especially plastic stuff.

I agree with the attention span thing too. I recently had a procedure where I had to lie for about an hour not moving and was horrified at how long it seemed and how boring. I realised just how much I automatically reach for my phone to kill time.

I think it depends. My ds has loads of books but loves books and reads them all in cycles. We also get books from the library so that he enjoys the newness but also appreciates that not everything is owned.

he’s also obsessed with cars and we regularly collect more from charity shops, but it’s more of a collection than anything and I know that used to happen in the past too as his great uncle has a huge car collection from when he was a kid (and my family weren’t wealthy by any stretch back then). I also apply the pay day treat rule. So if he asks for small things he still often has to wait until payday for them. Big things go on our imaginary ‘wish list’.

I do regularly pair things back and donate to charity any toys that are unused too and I discuss this with my DS so that he understands the need to give to charity and also not to have too much.

I always had lots of books as a child. Some I read and never picked up again, others I still treasure now.

If there’s one thing I wouldn’t worry about my children having too many of, it’s books.

I feel just like this, every time I survey the DC bedrooms. It's not their fault, it's adults going overboard at Christmas and for Birthdays, despite previous discussions to try and limit things.

Likewise with music and film, it's all available on demand, which I don't object to at all - I actively use the services myself. But the nostalgic me does feel a bit sad that having music and film immediately available can make it 'throwaway' and less treasured. I can't talk much though, I've collected 1000s of records and CDs in the loft, but I do treasure them still and won't part with them yet!

I don’t think using something over and over because it’s all you’ve got is necessarily treasuring it. My kids have way more than I did and they seem to treasure more than I did too. I grew pretty bored with most of my toys after a while and would reconfigure them/draw on them/try them out in inappropriate ways until they broke. My kids don’t necessarily use everything they’ve ever been given that much and they are careless with many of them but they treat the stuff they like well and have favourite toys they’ve had for years and years that are still going strong.

Being bored is SO important. People cant even stand in a lift for 20 seconds without getting their phone out to scroll.

And agree, the internet is absolutely the biggest factor. Just thinking about what I used to do when I woke up on a Saturday or laying in bed - I would read or just lay daydreaming. Now I doomscroll my phone.

Its a sad state of affairs when there are adverts at the cinema to tell you what a lovely experience it would be not to look at your phone for 90 minutes!

A slight derail sorry, but connected I think! Internet and endless ability to buy whatever you want.

I think its up to the adults. A) to model the right behaviour and B) to buy less.

Ive just spent the last 15 months ruthlessly decluttering. Starting with my stuff.

I am now single handedly packing up our home to move overseas (so everything the 4 of us own is going through my hands).

Although I still feel my DC have too much, they want it all and still play with it all, except for a couple of toys each which are too young but are sentimental to them.

They have sold and donated a lot of toys, books and clothes over the past year. So I don't want to force them to get rid of things they play with.

However, we have already seriously cut down on number of presents (going more for experiences) and will continue this. The boys don't mind as they can't think of anything they want either. For his 11th birthday, in total from all family, DS1 will be getting a phone (one of DHs old ones), a kindle, a microscope and a poster. He hasn't asked for anything except the phone.

'Kids these days spend too much time on their phones', everyone typed. On their phones.

Totally agree, and adults too

^^ I agree with this. Things that break or are lost are often easily replaceable on sites like Amazon or eBay.

I think there's a fair amount of rose tinted glasses in this.

Young kids don't always look after things because their brain development isn't at a point of associating cause and effect.

I don't thing there is anything morally superior about having to reread books rather than having the privilege of accessing different ones. Having a wide range of books to read increases exposure to different vocabulary and increases the chance of finding authors you love.

I ruthlessly declutter my kids definite treasure certain things, we also have a small house so I'm pretty ruthless about what comes in in the first place.

YANBU. Drives me mad to go to friends’ houses and walk into a sea of toys in the living room and their spoilt, overwhelmed child completely unable to focus on any one thing for longer than 10 seconds.

In fact, I hate it so much that I have put a ban on anyone buying toys for our first LO due this year. She’ll have some books and a few toys, and they’ll be swapped out for others as she gets older.

Not just material things but experiences too. I have a friend with a 3 year old. Since he was a few months old every weekend day has been a constant stream of farm parks, zoos, soft play, sometimes travelling miles for a different one. I wonder how he ever has any downtime or learns to play on his own. This is after a full on week in nursery. I honestly wonder how he will ever look forward to a special day trip because every single weekend day is like this.

My DCs definitely treasure things. Favourite cuddly toys, childhood stories (they're not great readers thanks dyslexia, but they still like being read to) random stuff, sticks, cardboard boxes...
There is superflouous stuff that builds up, birthday parties are a PITA for that, and token gifts.

Where this generation does really have something different is the way that time is often so formally organised, and constant access to engaging entertainment.

Screen free time and free, unstructured time are important to include.