What’s the sad reality about life that you had to learn?

[YouAreNotBatman]

To me it was how little people actually care about other’s.

And how lonely and isolating life can be, even as an adult, if you just don’t ”fit in” with the norm.

1. A lot of people just can’t understand how anyone can think differently from themselves. If you think differently you are stupid or mislead and there can be no other explanations in their mind.
2. Most of us come to a nasty end.

Yep. That.

You can’t take your health for granted.

It is normal to have bad things happen in life. We all just have to deal with them.

People are fundamentally self-interested.

Only a very small number of people actually give a shit about you.

If it hurts, it isn't love.

Hell yes. And conversely the loveliest people often have really shitty luck and lives.

Sometimes, arseholes just continue to fall on their feet, and good people get shit on. Life isn't fair and there is no such thing as karma.

I spent years thinking my father would one day look back on the pain he has caused and feel bad and regret it. He isn't going to and he has not suffered as a result of his actions.

I just noticed the karma post above!

That life isn’t always fair.

This. Only your parents have your back, and sometimes not even they do. I would die for DS, try to help DH and my parents, vaguely help other family members if it didn't inconvenience me too much, and friends and others can pretty well take their chances.

That grief is the worst thing in the world and destroys lives.

Some men are evil and significant numbers are just horrible people.

Work colleagues can be real snakes in the grass, especially when there’s a chance of promotion around. I’ve been burned in the past so now I’m
Mrs Vanilla. I’m friendly at work but I don’t say anything much about myself beyond I’ve got a husband and a son. No further details, not even son’s name/husband’s name. I just want to fade into the background.

I honestly find this thread so sad.

i lost my parent very young
i am divorced
and I have health issues

but I see so much positive in the world. I think most people are decent and I love my family very much and feel i can trust my friends with anything.

That quiet competence and going the extra mile at work rarely gets the promotion. You need to be skilled at self-promotion and manipulation to really get on; you don't need to be very good at your job.

On the whole, men despise women. Many of them didn’t want us to have the rights that we won.

As a stroke survivor I agree......and I use the word survivor as I couldn't think of anything else .....I would rather be dead

Absolutely this.

Oh yes, this

And how lonely and isolating life can be, even as an adult, if you just don’t ”fit in” with the norm.

Absolutely this. I'm 40, and not one of my friends who are of a similar age share my interests. It's incredibly lonely. My closest friends are the same age as my parents. I do most things on my own. I really don't mind my friends and colleagues teasing me about my interests. But it does get a bit wearing, when you can't share things you've done without people
Laughing at you or looking as if I've grown two heads.

@MissyCooperismyShero

Only your parents have your back

for you perhaps.
i lost my parents very young
ans I can tell you that my three closest friends of some thirty years “have my back”

my two brothers and my sister “have my back”

That there's a misogynistic culture that runs through life.
Alot of women are enablers to this without realising. Some men join in to fit in and don't stick up for us.
Its actually quite sad and will take so much to change it.

I’m hoping you dont let on to your children these very dark and bleak outlooks?

True! And anyhow, men your age are only interested in women in their 20s and 30s

bertie it is very helpful to tell teens the truth about some of this, cocooning them from some aspects is not equipping then properly to see sexism etc and a life time of trying to work it all out for herself. I definitely share lots of the bleaker aspects yes, like the importance of independence and standing on her own too feet because I want the best for her. I tell her joyful things too.