What’s the sad reality about life that you had to learn?

[YouAreNotBatman]

To me it was how little people actually care about other’s.

And how lonely and isolating life can be, even as an adult, if you just don’t ”fit in” with the norm.

Sorry, I meant I don't think men hate women as much as, at some level, fear them.

Personally, I finally realised a couple of years ago that my mother would never treat me the same way she treats my sister. Despite waiting 20 years to be given the same consideration, and behaved towards her as I knew I should, rather than reflecting her behaviour to me, my sister's wants are always going to come above mine, even above my needs. I should have fought for me much, much sooner than walked away.

That people will often close their eyes to other (usually vulnerable) people being bullied because they don't want to get involved and better them than me.
If sb sees a bird poo on you and you don't notice it, they'll laugh but not many will let you know so you can clean your clothes.

Well said. My son said he was fed up of idiots pushing him out of the lunch queue at school. And he'd be thinking at least this doesn't happen in the grown up world

' But I was wrong , dad'

Only work hard for yourself, not for your employer. Certainly don't do extras for them, unless it's for more money. Just work to rule then go home. It's taken me up til my mid-40's to learn that slogging hard just means you are given twice the work.

The only.person you can really rely on in life is you.

Everyone else is out for themselves, so you may as well be too.

That for some of us life starts off shit, gets worse and won't improve.

Oscar Wilde was right when he said We're all in the gutter but some of us are looking at the stars!

The halo effect is all too real.

@Worldgonecrazy That's why I'm a cynic sadly these days. So many men have pretty sleazy secretive behaviours

Life doesn't go to plan, so you have to be come very adaptable, and always have your own back.

A lot of parents look down on you if you don’t have kids.

You are replaceable at work but not to your family

When people’s backs are up against the wall, they will do anything, no matter how nice they are. Beware.

@lickenchugget That is not true. Many will, but not everyone.

A majority of half the population considers itself entitled (to a greater or lesser degree) to the unpaid labour of the other half of the population and that it is 'helping' or 'doing a favour' to do anything approaching their share of this unpaid labour and they deserve to be hugely patted on the back for it.

That I'm nothing special.

I grew up very much part of the affluent middle class. Parents were sensible, educated, and thoroughly "normal". I sailed through school - always thought of myself as "bright". Never had any issues, everything came pretty easily. Always had lots of friends.
Then went to university, and struggled socially in a massive way. Over-came that, but have then struggled professionally much of my working life, until the last couple of years. Perhaps I picked a career that I wasn't massively suited to, I don't know. I ended up taking a much lower paid, less well regarded role in the same industry. I like it, I think I'm good at it again, but I certainly don't think I'm anywhere close to matching the potential I thought I had as a child and teenager. I honestly thought I was destined for great things, but I haven't reached them.

It's called narcissism. There are various types and malignant narcissists are the closest to "passing as a normal person" before you reach actual psychopaths. They do not change, don't care about changing and don't deserve any help or empathy.

Fortunately never had the horror of dealing with one myself but a friend is trapped in a relationship with one. The things he said and did in private are horrendous but after you realise you're dealing with a narcissist you know there is no point or any hope of getting them to change.

There are no real bolts from the blue, there are always clues beforehand, small details you missed and didn’t think much about it at the time.

That some people would rather cut you out of their life than work through or agree to have a difference of opinion (this has been a million times worse in the social media age when people live in an echo chamber)

That words are cheap. Look at the actions instead.

I spent so long believing the words of the people who claimed to care and love me, because the alternative was too scary to confront.

That no one is indispensable, however good you are.

I read the below in the context of work relations but I think it applies to a lot of life:

A small number of people will go out of their way to help you, believe in you and lift you up when you don’t believe in yourself.
A small number of people will actively dislike you and try and make things difficult.
The majority of people we meet are just trying to get ahead and stay afloat themselves and are fairly disinterested in either helping or hindering others.

You can only play the cards you are dealt and we aren’t all dealt a winning hand.

No matter how perfect and happy one’s life is, the rug can be pulled from under one’s feet at any moment and everything can be lost.

As long as I am healthy, I can deal with anything which is thrown at me.

There is no “happy ending”, sometimes life is good, sometimes life isn’t so good.

There is always one whole loves more than the other.

You can be the most diligent, hard worker ever, but you are just a (payroll) number when all is said and done.

You can live with someone and be married to someone for decades and still have no idea what they are really thinking, how they are capable of behaving. That you can still love someone when they wish nothing but bad things for you.

I think there’s more good life lessons than bad, and you have to chase them to find them but they are there. I think it’s amazing that you can find lovely moments and great people even in the saddest times

Pick me pick me, i'm not like the other bitches.

The idea that any woman who disagrees with other women's opinions on men, is only voicing those opinions to appeal to men, is simply misogynistic. Women have their own opinions and it won't always align with the general consensus among women as a group or align with feminist ideals. This doesn't make them a "pick-me". You assume these women just say these things to make men want them rather than genuinely holding said opinion. I find that sad in itself, that you view these women as not having their own independent thoughts and opinions, that you view them as craving male attention. Of course, how could any woman simply disagree with you!?